


Break

by Id_flyifihad_wings



Series: Break [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:58:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4064260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Id_flyifihad_wings/pseuds/Id_flyifihad_wings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the tragic events with Naomi, Castiel tried to make it up to the Winchesters. Dean accepted his help, but Sam couldn't handle it. So he leaves.</p><p>As soon as he does, a new threat emerges. One that isn't in any lore. One that isn't know by even Crowley. One that could ruin their entire friendship forever.<br/>(Book 1 of Break Series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreams Anew

Cas and Dean hadn't really known what was coming. Sam had left them alone for the remainder of that year, and their friendship grew more and more with each passing day. 

Sam hadn't been with them in almost 3 months. Not for any reason than to successfully complete hunts on his own. After the incident with Naomi, Cas had tried to make it up to them as much as he could. 

Sam left the night Castiel decided he could trust himself again. Dean had, of course, let him stay. And although Sam had accepted it at first, he soon realized he couldn't take the constant skirmishes with his brother about the angel. 

"Do you not remember he was under a mind control, Sam!?" Dean would always start with that whenever Sam mentioned the whole situation. They'd shout and spew obscene things at each other. They had managed to get themselves kicked out of several motels because of it. 

Sam would always answer with the same response. "Of course I remember, Dean. You're the one he almost killed, how can you trust him?" 

Castiel would never dare speak up when they fought. He knew they would either ignore him or put their anger to him instead. 

"You weren't there. You don't how it happened, Cas is not a bad guy. He just made a bad choice." Dean would defend the angel without flinching. 

After a particularly bad fight, Sam had left with a bloody nose, and a black eye. Dean had bruised knuckles the next morning, and his jaw was sore where Sam had fought back.

Cas hated when they fought with their fists. He usually flew off when it happened, not wanting to see the damage. 

Of course that meant more anger when he came back. Fury from Dean that he wasn't there to help him out, anger from Sam that he hadn't stopped his brother.

But what was he to do when that happened? How was he supposed to know how to stop them. Together the Winchesters were unstoppable. And against each other they were immovable, anything that got in the way was usually hurt too.

So Cas tried to ignore the fights. And it worked. Until Sam left them both. Castiel had grown slightly depressed after that, but Dean had always been there to relieve his discomfort.

The day Sam left was the day Cas and Dean moved into the same hotel room. Since Cas didn't sleep, they only needed one bed. Dean slept more peacefully when Cas watched over him, despite his protests against it. 

Castiel stayed quiet through the night as Dean slept. He watched over the hunter he had grown to love. It was hard for Cas to watch him drink until he passed out, especially since his bright, vivid green eyes grew dull when he did.

Dean's eyes held every feeling he would ever need. When he was being stubborn and wouldn't tell Cas what was bugging him, the angel just looked in his eyes and the answer was there. It was hard on Cas to support the hunter when he was in those moods.

The moods that left him passed out, the ones that made him mumble in his sleep, the moods that left Cas out and called for Dean puking out his guts in the bathroom. Castiel couldn't help but fly off when they happened.

Dean had gotten better of course, with the help of his angel friend. 

And so Dean is asleep, and Cas watches over him quietly, unblinking. Dean sleeps peacefully, and he hadn't binged on beer in two weeks. Sam had called him two hours ago to tell him everything was ok, and the hunts were successful. 

He had managed to hunt down and kill a vampire, a few werewolves, a shapeshifter, and even a poltergeist. The younger Winchester seemed more capable than Dean at this point.

Dean stirs slightly in his sleep, and Cas wonders if he could hear his thoughts. In angel lore, an angel has a soul mate. But, they are usually human. Only the angel's true soul mate could hear their thoughts, see their wings, and only a true soul mate could invoke feelings like love in an angel.

Dean had definitely made Cas love. Not the hunter at first, first it was Meg and Castiel believed his soul mate was a demon. It wasn't until Meg was gone that he realized it was Dean that he had felt love for.

And, although Dean had never shown a sign of seeing Cas's wings, perhaps he had just grown used to them. The human usually knew before the angel if they were meant to be together.

Dean finally wakes up, his eyes fluttering and his breath coming out in short, staccato waves. "Cas, why are you talking so loud?" the hunter asks, covering his green eyes with an arm. 

"I wasn't speaking at all, Dean. I was watching over you as you slept." he tells Dean, looking confused.

Dean lets out a groan as he sits up, and the blanket falls down to his stomach revealing his broad shoulders and muscled chest. Castiel glances at the ground as the hunter stands.

When he finally looks up again, Dean is stretching. It causes the muscles on his back to flex and expand under his skin, creating a rippling effect. The two dimples at the base of his spine are more prominent as he raises his hands above his head, and Cas can't help the creep of a blush that melts into his cheeks.

"You sure you weren't talking?" Dean finally asks again, turning to the angel. The muscles in his stomach were clearly visible, and his pie eating days had created the slightest amount of love handles, and yet it suited the hunter.

"Positive. What would I be talking about?" Castiel questions him, ignoring the sharp line of Dean's jaw and the hunter's prominent cheekbones. 

"I don't know, Cas. Angel stuff?" Dean rolls his eyes and heads to the bathroom. Castiel hears the shower turn on, and tries not to think about Dean naked. 

He sits in the bed and sighs softly. Thankfully since Sam had left, Dean couldn't find it in himself to bring any girls home. It was never fun for Cas to watch Dean card through girl after girl, but this time was different. Dean hadn't brought a single girl home in the three months Sam had left.

Castiel wasn't sure if he should've been worried, but it was just so nice to spend time with Dean alone. 

The hunter hadn't really been trying to snoop, but he could hear Cas talking to himself about him. Talking about spending time alone with him as if Dean couldn't hear him.

He presses himself closer to the door, and hears Cas mumble something he can't catch. His voice seems more distant now than it did a second ago, but he doesn't think much of it. 

He quickly climbs in the shower and begins to clean himself free of the dirt and grime coated on him. 

As he climbs out of the shower and grabs his towel, he can hear a shuffle of feet outside the tiny window above the back of the toilet. Someone is talking on the phone.

"Ok, I'll tell him. Yeah, no I got it." It sounds too much like Sam, and Dean hurriedly wraps the towel around his waist as the steps become distant. 

Castiel didn't realize Dean had walked out, but suddenly his arms are around the angel's waist, pulling him back and off the bed. 

All Cas could think of was the hunter's muscled arms around him, the natural woodsy smell of his skin, and his piercing green eyes boring holes into his skull.

"Stay quiet. I heard someone outside." Dean mutters, taking his arms away as he peeks above the bed. Cas notices that Dean is only in a towel, one barely small enough to cover to his mid-thighs. 

"Dean-" the hunter shushes him and watches as a shadow passes by the window. He grabs a silver knife and a flask of holy water. The doorknob wiggles and the telltale sign of someone picking the lock is heard inside.

Standing behind where the door would open, Dean stays silent, barely breathing. Castiel stays where Dean put him, still panting softly from the feeling of having the hunter's arms around him. 

The door opens and Dean attacks, tackling the person to the ground. "Dean!" Sam exclaims, looking up at his brother. Dean opens the flask and sprays him with holy water.

Sam squeezes his eyes shut and grimaces. Dean grabs his arm and makes a small cut. Sam clasps his hand over the cut and groans in pain as the skin shudders and starts to bubble.

Dean looks triumphant as he raises the silver knife again. 

"Wait, wait, wait!" The shifter looks frantic as he raises his hand. "Sam sent me! He told me that you would do this! He- he told me to say....a- ask questions first, kill later! I don't know what that means but-"

"Can it!" Dean exclaims, looking down at the shifter. "What does Sam want?" he asks, keeping the knife at the ready. The shifter thinks a moment before he finally answers.

"Something about... Poughkeepsie?" Dean's eyes widen and he stands up, flipping the knife in his hands. "He said you would know what that means. And that... The Croatoan is near here." 

"Leave before I kill you." Dean's voice is cold and the shifter scrambles away and out the door. 

Cas stands up and looks at Dean in confusion. "Poughkeepsie?" he asks the hunter softly.

"Our safe word for drop everything and run. Sam apparently discovered there's a Croatoan outbreak near here. We need to leave this town, Cas. Sam was warning us, we gotta go now. Let me change and then we can head out." The angel nods as Dean walks back to the bathroom to change into his clothes.

When he comes back out, he is wearing his usual get up. Three different shirts, the top layer plaid and unbuttoned all the way down. Dark jeans and his usual dull brown, leather logger boots. Castiel follows Dean out to the Impala and climbs into the passenger seat. 

The car roars to life as Dean turns the car key in the ignition. He presses the gas pedal and they speed away, careening down the small road. Listening to classic rock didn't suit Cas, but he didn't say a word.

Dean was usually sensitive about his music, but suddenly he is turning it down and looking over at Cas with a quizzical expression. "We need to talk." 

"About what, Dean?" Castiel's hypnotic, ocean blue eyes meet Dean's gaze, looking bewildered and intense as ever. 

"I don't know. I just thought you'd have something to tell me." the hunter prompts him, tearing his eyes from Cas and turning back to the road. He silently wondered why it was so hard to look away from the angel and his huge wings that barely fit in the car.

It was a wonder he didn't get the delicate feathers stuck in the door of the Impala. Dean also wondered what they felt like. If they were soft or rough, smooth or jagged. They looked bedraggled, be to be fair Cas had just stuffed them into the tiny space of the front seat. 

They were a shaped like Osprey wings. A sleek black outer covering, and the undersides were flecked with silver and gold streaks running the entire length of his wings. The downy feathers were a dark, midnight blue, and the tips of each feather were white edged. 

Castiel decides not to mention that he can hear Dean's thoughts, though it was hard considering the hunter could see his wings down to the last detail. "I have nothing to say, Dean. Is there something on your mind?" he finally asks.

"No. Nothing." Dean shakes his head and turns the music back up, press the gas as they speed down the highway.   
\----  
Three hours later, Cas and Dean sit at the table in the motel, looking down at the computer together. "So, Sam mentioned the Croatoan virus. That was three hours ago in... Nebraska." Cas turns on the TV and the first station is reporting on a rapidly spreading, unknown, virus in the very town they had just left.

"It's already there, Dean." he told the hunter, his gravelly voice tired. Dean sighs and shuts the computer. He reaches around Cas and grabs the remote from him, switching off the TV.

Cas ignores the fact their hands brushed together. The callouses on Dean's hand are slightly softer. They hadn't hunted in nearly a month, so it made sense. 

"Great. Sammy could've told us sooner." Dean mutters unhappily as he flops into the bed. 

"Perhaps he did. Maybe the shifter just didn't want to help him at first." Castiel tells him, sitting down in the chair at the table.

"I don't know, Cas. I mean, maybe Sammy just kind of....forgot us. He's been gone almost four months now." Dean answers as he sits up. His green eyes look sad. 

"You just talked to him this morning. He hasn't forgotten us." Castiel remarks softly. Dean rolls his eyes and sets to work untying his boots. The leather smooths out under his fingers as he takes off the shoe. 

After he had finished with the other shoe, he lays down on the bed with a sigh. "I'm going to sleep." he mumbles as he closes his eyes. He turns on his stomach and sighs again.

"I'll watch over you." Castiel answers. Dean opens his eyes and looks at Cas. 

"No, Cas. It's fucking creepy." he remarks moodily. Cas just blinks, unmoving as he watches Dean. The hunter rolls his eyes and turns his back him, mumbling something incoherently.

Castiel tries to ignore the dreams Dean's subconscious sends through his mind. One in particular catches the angel's attention and he focuses in on it. It was all three of them. But added in was Kevin, Mrs. Tran, Garth, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, and who Cas can only assume was their mother. 

They all looked so happy. Like a family. He smiles slightly at the fact he is included in that family before letting the dream wash away. 

Dean settles unto his stomach, an odd habit that Cas always wondered about. Sam slept on his back, and all of the other hunters Castiel had encountered did too. He'd have to ask if he got the chance.

Before he could even think much more about it though, Dean is sitting up chucking a pillow at his head. Cas doesn't even register it as it hits his square in the face, surprising him into flying across the room. 

"Quit fucking talking. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm trying to sleep." Dean grumbles. Cas looks at him and frowns slightly, tilting his head much like a dog.

That look always sent shivers down Dean's spine. 

"I wasn't talking, Dean. I was thinking." Dean rolls his eyes again and flattens out in the bed, glaring at the wall.

"Yeah, well...think quieter." his voice is soft, and Cas can't help but wonder if the hunter is ok. 

"Dean?" Castiel takes a step closer, but Dean shakes his head.

"I'm perfectly fine. Just let me sleep. If you want to be of use, you can get me food." He sits up, but the flutter of wings tells him Cas is already gone. 

'Damn. That fucking angel will be the death of me with his stupid eyes, and the way his lips look when he pouts.' Dean blinks in confusion at his thoughts, shaking his head. Why was he thinking of Cas like that anyway? 

A moment later Castiel is back, with a bag in his hand. A cartoon looking burger is featured in the front, and Dean can't help but grin. 

"Thanks." he stands and grabs the food from Cas's hands, butterflies dancing in his stomach as their hands brush together. He acts like he doesn't notice and plops down at the table. 

As he eats he grabs his phone out to see a message from Sam. "Sam's on his way here. He figured out where we checked in." he informs Cas as he stuffs the last bite into his mouth. He rubs his hands together and lays back in the bed. 

The angel expects his to say something, but he just smirks and sits up again.

"You could always join me." the hunter comments, his eyes bright and his smile wild. Castiel gulps softly, trying to rid the thoughts from his mind. 

"I don't sleep. And there's only one bed." he points out averting his gaze as Dean chuckles.

"There's room for another person. And just because you don't sleep doesn't mean you can't rest." Dean replies patting the bed beside him. 

Cas clears his throat before moving to sit beside the hunter. Dean looks over at him and grins. "Come on, Cas. Take a load off. Shed a layer." he says as he grabs the angel's trench coat and helps Cas out of it. 

Castiel looks over at the hunter as he takes off his own third layer. He looks away quickly as Dean takes off his next shirt, leaving him in one layer. 

The angel can't help but blush as Dean wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him until he's flush against Dean's chest.

"Relax." Dean's voice is quiet, and right beside Cas's ear. It cause goosebumps to rise in his skin and his eyelids flutter, open and shut. The hunter moves his hands to Cas's shoulders again, taking off the black overcoat. Castiel's skin chills at the feel of Dean's breath on his neck, and he involuntarily shudders. 

Dean pulls him down in the bed, grabbing him around the waist again. Cas twists in his arms to face him. His green eyes are as bright as they've ever been, and Cas can't help but think if this is really his Dean.

"I heard you thinking about soul mates, Castiel. And how they can see an angel's wings. I can see your wings. And hear your thoughts." Dean voice is husky with emotion, and Cas blinks rapidly to stop his eyes from drooping at the euphoria he felt at being in Dean's arms. 

"Dean." Castiel mumbles his name softly as the hunter pulls him closer. Cas's arms naturally travel up to curl around his neck. 

Dean's breath hitches as he meets Cas's ocean blue gaze. The angel was crying softly, tears running heavy down his face, but he didn't pay them any mind. Dean raises a hand and smooths his thumb over Cas's face, wiping away the tears. 

They stop once Dean smiles sweetly, encouringly. Cas glances past Dean to the wall behind him, but Dean pulls his gaze back by clearing his throat. 

"You don't know how long I've waited for this." Dean tells him quietly, voice cracking slightly. Castiel looks confused a moment, but Dean quickly presses his lips to Cas's. The kiss is gentle, and a little clumsy on Cas's side and the angel can taste the burger he'd just eaten.

Dean increases the pressure, hands pulling Cas by his waist closer to him. As they pull away for breath, Cas can't help but feel a small part of him being filled. The hole only his soul mate could fix. 

Dean's eyes are wide and he watches Cas's reaction silently. His hands move up the angel's stomach to his chest, and his neck where the buttons on his shirt begin. 

Cas allows Dean to unbutton them, and push his shirt away, revealing Cas's built form. The low sweep of his neck, the curving stretch of his shoulders and biceps, all the way down to the flat line of his stomach and chest. Dean's hands travel along Cas's arms, squeezing gently as if this couldn't possibly be real.

Cas scoots closer, his eyes exploring the soft planes of his hunter's face. He found it encouraging that Dean was taking his time. Usually with the girls, he rushed right in without any notice. Dean sits up and takes off his own shirt, allowing Cas to hungrily search his body. His broad shoulders shudder slightly from the cold, but he quickly lays back down and pulls Cas flush against him.

The skin on skin contact made Cas's stomach twist into a welcoming knot, and his heart beats faster. "Dean..." his voice trails off. It hits him then that there are only two layers between them. And apparently Dean had heard that thought because he is suddenly unbuttoning his jeans as well. 

Castiel isn't sure what to do, but without him knowing Dean's hands are yanking off his slacks. The hunter rests his hands on Cas's hips and smirks. Castiel blushes and manages to put his hands on Dean's chest, keeping him away for a moment. 

Dean watches him silently, and pulls him closer. Cas wraps his arms around his neck again, pulling him down to meet him in a kiss. Dean travels down Cas's jaw, kissing down to the slight dip where his collarbones meet.

Cas bites his lip, his hands resting on Dean's biceps. His skin crawls with anticipation and he realizes his jaw is slightly slack as Dean presses closer, their bodies fitting each other perfectly. As if they were made for the other. 

Dean's hands travel farther down, exploring the sharp dip of Cas's back, and the pull of his shoulder muscles as he moves. Cas can't seem to stop his heartbeat as it quickens. Despite the fact he is an angel, he couldn't deny the pleasure Dean brought him.

Just as Dean's thumbs slide just barely inside his boxers, a knock on the door echoes through the room. They take a moment to come out of the daze. Dean blinks, staring at Cas who's eyes are half closed. 

He finally teleports out of the bed, grabbing his pants to pull them on. He does the same with his shirt, overcoat, and trench coat. Dean slips his jeans on, heading to the door.

He opens it to see Sam standing there. 'Damn interrupting moose.' he thinks silently. Cas couldn't help but hear it and chuckles softly. 

"Dude, why are you shirtless?" Sam asks, grimacing as he enters the room. Dean didn't bother with the check, Cas could tell this was the real Sam.

"I was about to take a shower. Duh." Dean grabs a clean shirt from his bag and heads to the bathroom as if that's what he was doing all along. 

"Cas." Sam's voice is curt as he greets the angel. Castiel clears his throat and nods to Sam.

"Sam." he notices the bag of food in Sam's hand and has to stop the smile of triumph. "Dean already ate." he adds. Sam glances down at the bag and frowns as he sets it on the table.

"Oh. Well that's good I guess. How many woman has he gone through? How much beer?" the younger Winchester glances at Cas, trying to hide the worry covering his face like a mask.

"No woman. And only one alcoholic binge." Castiel tells him. Sam looks surprised to say the least, and they turn to the hallway as Dean walks out.

"What?" he asks as he rubs the towel over his hair. He wears the new shirt, and looks up at them with an innocent gaze.

"No woman, Dean? I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised." Sam chuckles and claps his brother on the shoulder. Dean looks at Cas, a barely noticeable blush forming around his cheeks and tips of his ears. 

"Well, I didn't feel that need." he finally replies, grinning at Sam. 

"Well, obviously. How'd you do it Cas?" Sam turns back to Castiel who looks like a deer in headlights. He wasn't as smooth as Dean, and he glances awkwardly between the two brothers.

"Do what?" he asks, pretending to be clueless. It wasn't hard. 

"Nothing- never mind, Cas." Sam shakes his head and grimaces. Castiel glances at Dean as Sam heads to the door, meeting his gaze. The angel blushes and looks away at the ground. 

"I'm going to get a room really quick." he tells them as he leaves the room. Dean lets out a sigh of relief and Cas can't help but imitate it with his own. 

"God, Cas. Could you be any more fucking obvious?" Dean mutters as he gently hits him on the arm. Castiel looks confused a moment, but quickly picks up on Dean's sarcastic tone.

"You know, if you'd really like me to I could be." he jokes, his rough voice taking on a new tone Dean had never heard.

"Did you just make a joke?" Dean acts dumbfounded, taking Cas by the waist and pulling closer. He kisses him softly, and as the door is thrown open Castiel quickly flies to the other bed. He crosses his arms and Dean can't help but groan in frustration. 

"Hey, their aren't anymore rooms here. I'm gonna stay at a motel across town. It's about 15 minutes away. I'll call you later." Sam says, hugging Dean tightly. 

"Ok, yeah, no problem. Cas'll stay with me. We've got to beds so it won't be a problem." Dean reassures him, returning the hug.   
\----  
Dean and Cas sat side by side, watching TV silently. Sam hadn't called them all night, and It had been nearly five hours since he'd left. They knew he was fine, he'd sent a text saying he'd be out for a while. 

So Dean and Cas sat in silence until that night. Cas was about to fly off to let Dean sleep when he spoke.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asks softly, looking slightly forlorn. Castiel turns thback to him and tilts his head. 

"I was going to leave so you could sleep." he informs him, squinting his intense blue eyes. Dean blinks in confusion and motions for Cas to come over. 

"You don't want to finish what we started this morning?" he asks the angel, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Castiel can feel the heat traveling up his spine, his cheeks, and even his ears as he blushes madly.

He doesn't meet Dean's eyes, but the next thing he knows Dean is pulling him down and helping him out of his clothes. After that he busies himself with his own three layers of clothing, shedding them and strewing them carelessly on the floor. 

Cas didn't remember being on the bed, but as Dean places his mouth over the angel's, he couldn't help but shudder with want. His entire body tingles with desire.

Dean's hands dance lightly on his hips, playing with the elastic of his boxers and making Cas nearly scream at him to stop teasing.

He can feel the hunter's fingers traveling a path down his stomach, but he stops just shy of his boxers again.

"Dean." Cas's voice is heavy and whiny as he looks up into his bright, forest green eyes. Dean smirks and plants another kiss on Cas's lips, gently biting his bottom lip. 

He finally slides his hands along Cas's waist, dragging the boxers down with his fingers. The cold air pricks at them both as Dean removes his own, and Cas immediately wishes the hunter was closer.

Dean hears the thought and pulls Cas closer, pressing their bodies together. Cas is suddenly on top of the hunter, kissing him passionately and bucking his hips slightly. Dean wraps his arms around Cas's waist, pulling him farther down. The contact of their dicks drives Castiel mad, and he can't hold back a small gasp of pleasure as Dean slowly but surely adds his own rythm to the fray. 

He grins slightly, looking up at the angel's face. Cas's eyes squeezed shut, his mouth open, and the soft, tiny moans coming from him. "You're pretty lewd for being an angel, Cas." he tells him, chuckling as Castiel blushes but doesn't stop. 

Dean grips the angel's sides and lifts him slightly, giving them both better traction on the silky fabric of the bed. 

Cas's eyes squeeze tighter as he moans vulgarly, making Dean's heart race. He puts his hands on Dean's chest, but the hunter flips them over so he is on top.

Castiel looks up at him, eyes drunk on his love. Dean grips Cas's waist, steadying him as he gently eases his slick cock into the angel. Cas groans softly, but Dean isn't sure if it's out of pain or pleasure. He stops and Cas's eyes open.

"Please, don't stop." he mumbles as Dean keeps going. Castiel's body shudders once Dean is completely in, and he starts to move. 

Cas moans and raises his hands above his head, keeping himself still on the bed frame. Dean can't believe this is the same Cas as before. 

As Dean ruts his hips, a wet sound echoes around the room, and makes them both stop for a moment. Cas shivers at the sharp stop and tries to move on his own, but Dean's strong hands keep his still. 

"Dean..." Cas's voice falters as the hunter moves once. He calls his name again and Dean can't help but grant his pleas. He had to admit, this was the best sex he'd ever had.

Cas can't hold back the low, lusty, feral moan that spills out of his mouth. It pours into the room as he cums and Dean follows, pulling out at the last second. 

Castiel whimpers softly at the slight pang of emptiness between his legs as Dean lays beside him. The hunter pulls him closer by the waist, burying his face in the angel's neck. They tangle their legs together and fall asleep with their legs entwined and arms wrapped around the other.  
\----  
Sam had called several times, and as he made his way to the motel his brother and Cas were staying at he couldn't shake the feeling of urgency. 

When he arrives the manager shakes his head, looking up at him. "Back again?" he asks with a slight smile.

"My brother is staying here. I'm just here to visit." Sam tells him as he heads to the room. As he reaches the hallway Dean is in, he hears a sickingly powerful moan drifting eagerly down to his ears. 

Dean had found himself a woman to mess with after all, it seemed. He was about to knock on the door when he heard Castiel calling his brother's name and the answering grunts of exertion. 

'What the fuck!? Is Dean fucking having sex with Castiel!?' Sam was freaking out as he backs away. The telltale sign of their climaxes reaches his ears as he quickly scurries down the nearby stairwell. 

He sits in the car and grabs his phone, about to dial Dean again. Thinking better of it, he throws his cell into the passenger seat and drove off, the soft rumble of the car's engine barely heard in the darkness.


	2. Dark Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If I had to live my life again, I'd find you sooner."

Dean woke up the next morning with his legs intertwining with Castiel's. His chest was sticky with cum and he sat up, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on so he could take a shower.

Can must have felt him leave his side because he grumbles and opens his eyes. His own body is sticky as well, and he peels himself off of the sheets. "Dean? Where are you going?" his voice is quiet, and a little more raspy than usual. 

"To wash this shit off of me. Wanna join?" Dean grins wickedly and glances Cas's way. The angel smiles slightly, and shifts his legs to the side of the bed. He grimaces slightly, sore from the sex of last night. 

When he finally stands, a slight pressure makes him wobble unsteadily. Dean lets him lean against him, and chuckles softly. "Guess you're not used to the feeling. I told you I wasn't going to let you die a virgin, Cas." Dean tells him, nudging him slightly. 

Cas blushes madly and glares up at the hunter. "Don't." he warns quietly. Dean turns on the shower and makes sure the water is warm before shedding his boxers and climbing in. Castiel follows him wordlessly.

They wash each other quietly, not saying as word as the water runs off of their heating skin. Dean presses Cas against the shower tiles, and kisses him fiercely. Cas can't stop the small moan that escapes him as Dean's hips push against his own. 

The hunter stifles it with another kiss, his tongue exploring the crevices of Cas's mouth. As they break apart, Cas accidentally bumps the water faucet, turning it off. 

Dean kisses the angel's neck, sending Cas spiraling deeper into the lust filled craze he'd entered last night. Castiel lets out another soft moan as Dean bucks his hips softly against him. 

The rub of their cocks makes Dean's breath come out in short, ragged beats. "Fuck..." he breaths against Cas's neck, digging his thumbs into the sharp cut of the angel's hip bones. 

Castiel kisses Dean's neck roughly, breath hitching and leaving a small hickey. Dean breaths another obscenity and bucks his hips again, groaning softly at the waves of pleasure enveloping his body.

The hunter wraps his arms around Cas's back, pulling him closer. He arches his back to meet Dean's rhythm, pulling another groan from Dean's throat. 

Cas's breathing is unsteady, and he can feel his climax coming soon. Lust fills his eyes as he grips Dean's arms, mouth open in a silent plead. Dean reaches down, palming the angel's slick cock and making him shudder. 

He didn't register the fact that he had climaxed. Dean kisses him softly before turning away, reaching to the faucet. They wash each other one more time and then set to work drying the other. 

It was a while before Dean saw that Sam had called him five times last night. He set the phone against his ear, holding it with his shoulder as he grabbed a pair of clean jeans. It rang three times before a click was heard and Sam's groggy voice spit out a hello.

"Sammy. Sorry about last night. I fell asleep before you called." Dean's voice is confident and it takes Sam a second to register anything. He puts it on speaker so that Cas could hear as well.

"Right, yeah. No, it's- it's fine. I was just calling to check up on you two, nothing much. It's- yeah- fine." Sam replies, sitting up in the bed he was sleeping in. 

"Ok, well we're fine. Here, Cas is here too." Dean looks at Castiel and smiles slightly.

"Cas is still there?" Sam's voice takes on a new tone. Slightly strangled and rough, but still Sam. 

"Yeah. He left last night to finish some angel business. But he flew back." Dean tells him. Not even Cas could've detected the lie in his voice. 

"Right. Yeah, no, makes sense." Sam remarks. He couldn't shake the sounds from last night. He had visited, not that he would tell Dean that. 

"Sam? You sound strange. Are you ok?" Castiel asks the younger Winchester. Sam doesn't answer for a moment, and they start to grow worried.

"Yeah, Cas. I'm fine." he finally says. Sam stands up, and grabs a shirt. He sets the phone down a moment, not worrying about what Cas was saying about him. He slips the shirt over his head and then grabs the phone again.

"Ok, look Sam. You need to go. Back to the bunker. Cas and I will meet you there soon." Dean is saying and Sam finds himself frowning.

"What? Dean, why?" Sam shakes his head and starts pacing the room, crossing his arms. 

"Because, Sam. Look, Sam we need to take care of this Croatoan virus." his brother's voice is hard, and Sam rolls his eyes as he finds himself about to agree.

"No. Dean we need to figure this out together. Like we always have, like we always will. Dean we're supposed to be brothers. So why don't you start acting like one?" Sam retorts. 

He can hear Dean growl, a deep guttural sound from his throat that has Cas crossing his arms.

"Dean, enough. We can do as Sam says. We'll solve it together." Sam can hear Cas's voice sounding deeper in the phone. He doesn't say anything, but he can hear Dean muttering something under his breath.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever. Just meet us at that diner on Main." Dean hangs up before Sam can answer and throws his cell on the bed. 

"Ok, Cas. Let's go." Dean grabs his keys and walks out the door. Castiel sighs softly and follows Dean out the door. The Impala roars to life and Cas climbs into the passenger side. With a small screech they pull out of the motel and race down the street.

The ride is silent and only a few short minutes later they are arriving at the diner. Dean kills the engine and sighs softly. "Look. Just don't mention last night or this morning." he tells him suddenly. 

Cas took one long look at Dean before suddenly flying off. Dean sighs softly and shakes his head, rubbing a hand down his jawline as he walks inside. Sam already sits inside, looking forlorn and gazing over the menu. 

Dean walks over and heaves himself into the chair in front of him. "Hey. Where's Cas?" Sam asks him, cocking an eyebrow. Dean clears his throat and shrugs.

"I don't know. He flew off." 

"What'd you say to him this time?" Dean glares at Sam and his fists clench under the table where his brother can't see. 

"Nothing! I didn't say anything!" Dean shouts, earning him a few odd looks from across the diner. 

"Woah, ok. It was a joke." Sam raises his hands in defense and chuckles softly. Dean sighs and stands up again. 

"I'm gonna hit the head," he mutters softly as he strolls away quietly. His mouth is turned down in a line, and his eyes are heavy and sorrowful. 

Once he reaches the bathroom, he stands in front of the mirror looking down into the porcelain sink. His breath comes out slightly ragged and he realizes he is sweating slightly. 

A flutter of wings echoes througthe tiny space and he straightens up, feeling immediately immensely better. "Cas?" his voice comes out tiny and he cringes. Tears prick the edge of his vision, and he can't see clearly as spots dance across the angel's body.

The last thing he hears is Castiel calling his name and the insanely firm floor coming up to meet him.   
\----  
When he awake, Sam is standing over him and gently patting his cheek. "Hey, Dean. Easy, man." his voice echoes in Dean's mind and he didn't realize he was trying to stand.

"S-Sammy.... What- what happened, Sam?" he asks groggily, his mind muddled and lazy. 

"I don't know. One second you were in the bathroom, and the next Cas is coming out to get me. You had passed out." Sam tells him as he helps him lay back.

"No, Sam.......no." Dean's voice is pleading and he can't help but feel more tears prick his eyes. Cas comes in then, carrying a bottle of water. 

"Dean, here. Drink this." he hands the bottle to the hunter and helps him drink. Dean watches as Sam motions for Cas to follow him away. 

"What happened, Cas?" he is quiet and barely heard above the fan. 

Cas doesn't respond for a second, thinking over his answer. He knows Dean can hear the thoughts swirling in his head as he mulls it over.

"I'm not sure. I showed up because he was praying to me, and when he turned, something....clicked in his eyes and then he fainted." Cas whispers, looking melancholy. 

Sam sighs as a clatter sounds. When they reach the room, Dean is on the floor, propping himself up on his elbows and trying to stand. Cas flies over, helping him stand. A hand on his shoulder and another around his waist. 

Dean immediately has color returning to his face and his eyes are bright. 

"Dean, lay down. Cas and I are gonna head up to Bobby's to see if we can figure anything out about this." Sam remarks as he helps him down onto the bed. 

As soon as Castiel lets go, Dean curls up, clutching his stomach in pain with a slight groan. He grabs at Cas's hand and pulls him down until he's sitting beside him. 

Sam looks frantic as he takes a step back, trying to hide a smile. "Does this shit have something to do with Cas?" he asks as he takes another step back. 

"I don't know but I feel a hell of a lot better whenever he's touching me." Dean mumbles, beginning to snore softly. 

Sam glances at Cas who looks just as frightened if not more as he feels. "I'm gonna go up to Bobby's. Just....watch him." Sam leaves the room quickly before he can embarrass himself any farther.

This was fantastic! Dean might finally realize his feelings for Castiel. They might actually get together, after all they'd been through. But then again, what if after all of this, Dean still didn't admit that him and Cas were destined for each other. What if after all this Dean didn't want to be with Cas? 

He shakes his head as he climbs into the Impala and races off, trying to rid the angry thoughts from his head. It would work out like it was supposed to. It was supposed to work...right?  
\----  
Dean wakes up with a throbbing headache and an empty feeling in his chest. As he props himself up Castiel flies into the room, his wings glistening in the sunlight.

"Can't you put those away?" Dean asks, motioning to the nearly glowing wings. Cas looks back at them and sighs softly.

"No, Dean. There's nowhere to put them anyway." he retorts, looking tired. He sits beside the hunter and takes his hand.

"Hey, woah, Cas. Watch the lovey dovey stuff." he mutters, retracting his hand from Cas's grip. 

"Dean. It's the only way you feel better. Don't you remember this before you fell asleep?" Cas looks away slightly, a frown on his face. How could Dean have forgotten.

"What? No. Cas, stop messing with me, man. We need to clean this place up for when Sam gets here." Dean answers as he tries to stand. He ends up sitting back down with a heavy groan, his fingers pressed against his temple. 

"What the fuck? What did you do to me?" he asks, glaring at Cas. 

"Dean, what's the last thing you remember?" he questions the hunter, gaze worried and filled with an underlying urgency. 

"Uhm...Sam just called this morning. We're in Nebraska." Dean murmurs in reply as he squeezes his eyes shut against the pain. Castiel holds back a gasp. That had been nearly two days ago now. 

"No, wait. Sam just left us, duh. We're in Nebraska though. The days are running together." Dean fixes his thought and glances up at the angel.

At this Cas can't help but grimace. Sam had left them over five months ago now. Granted he had called every morning to check on them, but stil... Five months of memories Dean couldn't remember. Including the night with Cas. Or that morning for that matter. 

"Dean, Sam left us over five months ago. He's with us. This morning you passed out in a diner down the street. Do you really not remember?" he asks softly, looking down at Dean's still form. 

"What? No, that's not possible. Sam left us last week! He just called and told us he'd killed a werewolf, Cas. S- stop messing with my- my head!" he stutters, shaking his head violently. This causes a jolt of electricity to course through him and he shudders. 

Cas couldn't help the hunter now. This was like nothing he'd ever seen or heard about. And frankly, he was terrified. Nothing seemed to make sense and he grabbed Dean's hand, turning his face toward his own and planting a firm kiss on the hunter's lips. 

Dean stops moving and kisses back, his tongue gently prodding for entrance. Cas's own tongue fights him for dominance, but as he pulls away, Dean wraps an arm around his neck, bringing him down again. 

For now he seems calm and collected. "Sam is back. Last night.... God last night." Dean mumbles against Cas's lips and the angel grins. 

"Last night, you remember." Castiel states gently. Dean nods and kisses him again, deep and passionate. 

"And this morning. I'm sorry about...what I said. I just..." he trails off as Cas reaches down to gently pull his belt loose. The hunter shifts slightly making it much easier for Cas. 

Without breaking the kiss, Cas slides Dean's pants off and gently rubs his dick through the thin fabric of his boxers. Slow and steady, and Dean nearly begs for more. 

Cas stifles his moans with more kisses, gently increasing the pressure. Dean's hips jack up suddenly, forcing Cas to move faster. He gasps against the angel's lips forcefully, gripping the tiny hairs at the back of Cas's neck. His fingernails dig into the skin ever so slightly, making Cas palm him harder.

Everything was slow and steady with Cas, and it drove the hunter mad. He just wanted instant pleasure, didn't want to work for it. As if Cas was listening in, he steadily works Dean's boxers below his knees, trailing wet kisses to his stomach and stopping just shy of Dean's already erect cock. 

Dean mumbles something incoherently, and Cas stops as he looks up into the bright green eyes of his hunter. Dean meets his ocean blue gaze and can't help but grin.

As Cas gently licks the tip, it pulls a groan from Dean's throat. "God, Cas....please." his voice comes out in staccato breaths and he bucks his hips, causing Cas to nearly choke on the expanse of his dick.

Cas wraps a hand around his penis and continues sucking, Dean's hands massaging his head insistently. Slowly but surely Cas works his way down deeper, making Dean moan urgently. 

Pleasure racks his body as he bucks his hips harder into Cas's mouth, excitement building with every breath. He couldn't hold back the compulsion to call Cas's name loudly, so he follows it. 

"God, Cas....yes, right there! Cas!" Dean's voice fills the room and floats down the hallway of the bunker, but there's no one to here them. 

Dean is suddenly on top of the angel, nearly ripping off his slacks and trench coat. Cas helps him out of his button up, and only when they finish does Dean scale Cas's body with his hungry eyes.

Cas looks up at his hunter with lust, and Dean gently presses the tip of his cock to Cas's opening. A slight cry of glee bursts from Cas's mouth and as Dean enters all the way in, he clasps his arms tightly around his sides. 

As Dean slides in an out, Cas moves his hands to cup his ass, driving him farther inside with every thrust. 

"Dean...." Cas's voice trails off and his toes curl as Dean thrusts into him again. A cry of pleasure erupts from both of the men, making it echo around the room.

Dean breaths obscenities, his head ducked by Cas's neck as he sloppily kisses at the collarbones. Cas arches his back, meeting Dean as he grows closer to his climax. As he does, Dean hits a sweet spot, sending Cas in a lusty, moaning mess. His toes curl, his back arches involuntarily, and his eyes squeeze shut as he cums. 

Dean cums at the same time, sending a warm heat through Cas's body that leaves him curling into a ball. His legs tremble slightly and he grips the sheets until his knuckles are white.

"Fuck, Dean." he mumbles sleepily, enjoying the afterglow. Dean lays beside him, taking one of his dirty shirts and wiping the already sticking cum from Cas's chest and his own. He pulls Cas closer, and wraps his arms around him, feeling a trillion time better than he ever had before. 

Cas buries his head in Dean's chest, still slightly shaking from his orgasm. As why fall asleep, Dean reaches out a hand and gently rubs the angel's wings. They flutter slightly as he stretches them forward for him to reach better.

They were like nothing Dean had ever felt before. They were sturdy, but pliable. Soft, but rough. Silky, but jagged and it just made him want to keep touching them. Cas smiles at his thoughts and closes his eyes, enjoying to feeling of Dean's fingers exploring the broad expanse of his wings.

Cas had originally thought it would feel too good, but, as Dean kept petting, it was much like the breeze running through them. It left him with a sense of happiness and lightness he hadn't felt in a while. 

"Does it hurt Cas?" Dean asks him. It hit Castiel that he had been shielding his thoughts from Dean, something he'd have to teach the hunter soon. 

"No, Dean. It feels good." he tells him softly, resisting the strong urge to show off by flapping them. 

"Like, how good?" Dean wonders as he cards his fingers through the feathers, increasing the pressure. He fixes some of them that had gotten ruffled by their sex and moved closer to Cas's back. 

"Just....good." the angel answers. His eyes close as his breathing slows and Dean listens quietly as Cas falls asleep. 

"Cas? Cas....you're not supposed to sleep. You're an angel." Dean mumbles as he shakes him. Cas's head shoots up and he looks frantic. 

"Dean, what?" he asks, not the least bit groggy. 

"I thought you had fallen asleep. Angels don't sleep, Cas." Dean mutters unhappily. Castiel chuckles at him and grins.

"It's not that we don't. We just don't feel the need. But we sleep sometimes. After strenuous activities. Like intercourse." Cas reassures him. Dean snorts and rolls his eyes slightly. 

Somewhere above ground they hear the bunker door open. Cas grabs his clothes and stuffs them on, Dean following his lead. 

Dean pulls him closer and kisses him deeply, tongues mingling. As he breaks away, he can feel his body repairing itself.

As Cas flies them back upstairs, Dean can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Something more than just that strange sickness or the way Cas fell asleep. Something just below the surface he couldn't scratch, or couldn't make out. 

And it drove him crazy.


	3. Amid the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If a thing loves, it is infinite."

The next day was a blur as far as everyone was concerned. Sam was running around the bunker desperately trying to decipher what exactly was wrong with Dean. Castiel busied himself by staying at Dean's side throughout the day. And of course Dean was frantic and slightly scared about what this strange sickness could mean.

Cas didn't exactly remember falling asleep next to Dean, but as he wakes up he knows something is severely wrong. Dean's vitals were spiking, and his heart rate was increasing and an alarming speed. 

The angel shakes him awake and as his eyes fly open, everything seems to return to normal. His eyes flash with a pale, sickly green before occupying the normally bright, forest green. 

"What the fuck, Cas?" he grumbles as he rolls back over. Castiel lets out a sigh of relief as Dean's heart rate slows down to a normal speed. How could the hunter not have felt that? 

And Cas found himself wondering what all of this meant. Why was his happening to the hunter? And why now of all times? 

Bobby had just died not too long ago, and then after all that they figure out that they will have to kill a Knight of Hell, whatever that was. 

It was such an inopportune time. And Dean wasn't strong enough right now. He slept over eight hours, which wasn't usual. Usually, he only needed four hours to function. 

Now, if he didn't get eight hours or more, he'd be a bitchy, whiny, annoying baby. It was hard on both Sam and Cas having to take care of him. But they were family, they had to watch out for each other. 

Dean is suddenly standing up, without warning. Cas looks at him in confusion as he moved almost robotically around the room to get ready.

If anything, Dean wasn't acting like himself. Dean always took a shower in the morning, and then clothed himself. Lately he hadn't been taking showers until night, before he went to bed. 

Cas couldn't grasp the concept. 

"Dean? Are you ok?" Castiel asks cautiously, squinting his eyes slightly. Dean turns around and looks at him, his eyes are red rimmed and a pale, almost grey-green. His shoulders are hunched as he shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Just stop talking, dammit!" he shouts, slamming the dresser drawer shut. Castiel looks worried, but he doesn't say another word. It was never wise to piss Dean off, especially not lately. 

Dean left the room and turned right, going to the bathroom. Cas took the chance and flew off to the main room. 

"Sam. I've figured out something more." he tells him. Sam sighs heavily and brings his hand to the bridge of his nose.

"More? Damn, Cas. How many fucking effects is this shit going to have?" Sam asks lividly. Cas barely registers what Sam is saying because suddenly Dean's arms are wrapping around him and pulling him flush against the hunter's broad chest. 

"Dean?" Sam stands up, his eyes wide and frantic. Cas gulps softly and glances down at the book in Sam's hand. 

"Angry. It makes him angry. And-" Dean cuts the angel off as he twists him around in his arms and kisses him deeply. Sam looks confused a moment, but just shakes his head and writes down what Castiel had told him.

As Dean pulls away, Cas can't help the blush that spreads across his face like a forest fire. The hunter's eyes are bright green again, and he looks well rested and strong. Funny how just a kiss could cure him. Although, just a few weeks ago all it took was the touch of their hands. 

Sam flips through a few more pages before looking up at Cas's waiting gaze. "I think I found something." he remarks as he holds the book out for the angle to see. "Anger, mood swings, bloodshot eyes. Too much sleeping." 

"No. Dean has never had bloodshot eyes." Cas interrupts him before he can continue. Sam throws the book down with a heavy sigh and buries his hands in his growing hair.

"This is hopeless. There's nothing in any of the fucking books to tell me what could even remotely be wrong. Dean's fucking screwed because the stupid fucking Men of Letters can't even figure out a single disease we actually need." Sam roars as he storms out of the room. 

Castiel blinks rapidly, trying to hold back tears. Perhaps Sam was right. Maybe Dean couldn't be saved.

Just as the thought crosses his mind Dean grabs his hand and pulls him to the room they had been sharing. 

The king sized bed was the only thing besides the dresser that Dean could handle in such a small space. Dean shuts the door, grabbing Cas's waist and pulling him against him. 

He planted a rough kiss on the angel's mouth. Cas gasps softly, allowing Dean's tongue to explore his mouth further. He had to admit, the hunter was exciting him, but now was not the time nor place for this.

"Dean." Cas pulls away as if in warning, but Dean simply uses his strength to pull him back. They drift backwards toward the bed and as Cas's knees hit the frame, they plop down without breaking the kiss.

Dean's hands travel down to the slight bulge in Cas's slacks and fondles him softly as if teasing. Cas lets out a small whimper of pleasure and can't help but buck his hips to meet the hunter's hand. 

Dean chuckles softly and pulls Cas's clothes off quickly. He slips his own shirt off and then unbuckles his jeans and takes them off. 

He lays on top of Cas, supporting himself with his elbows by Cas's head. The angel can feel Dean's cock through the flannel of his boxers, and he raises his leg slightly to meet it. Dean's breath hitches softly and he kisses Cas deeply.

The angel lets out a low moan as Dean reaches his hand under Cas's boxers and palms his dick. Dean gently bites Cas's collarbones, his arm grazing over his prominent hip bones. He kisses his neck, leaving a small but noticeable hickey there.

Cas lifts his hands and glides along Dean's back. His hands explore the low dip of his spine and he moves to his stomach, and just a little lower, his fingers wrapping around Dean's already throbbing dick. 

Cas manages to pull a lusty groan from Dean's throat that makes goosebumps rise all over his body. Dean thrusts into Cas's hand, kissing him as he did. He almost didn't want this to end, but he could feel his climax coming.

A few minutes later, he is cumming into Cas's hand with a moan of ecstasy. He stops short and lays beside Cas, leaving him in despair. His hunter had never stopped until they were both pleased.

What was happening to his beautiful Dean? Cas grabs his clothes and slips them on without another word. Dean sits up and looks at him in obvious confusion. 

"Hey, Cas? What's wrong?" he asks softly, slipping his boxers back into place. 

"Nothing." Castiel's voice is like rocks in Dean's stomach as he leaves. Dean didn't know what he had done to piss him off, but he had a feeling something horrible was about to happen. He picks up his clothes and sets them on the bed before changing into a clean pair of underwear. 

Cas arrives in the main room of the bunker again. Sam is no where to be found so he leans against a nearby chair, fighting back angry, biting tears.

He wouldn't cry because of something as human as sex. It wasn't worth it. The next thing he knows, Sam is gently calling his name. 

"Cas, Cas it's ok. Come on, Cas." Sam was pulling him into a tight hug as the tears finally pour down the angel's face. They left streaks of dampness on Sam's shirt, but he didn't seem to mind. 

Cas sobs into Sam's chest, his arms wrapping securely around his back. "What happened, Cas?" 

"It is not of import." Castiel manages to say in between his cries. He didn't understand why something as simple as Dean not pleasuring him was getting him so depressed. Was he really that petty? 

Sam held him until in an instant he's down on the ground, clutching the side of his face with a groan. 

"What the hell was that for!?" he exclaims, glaring up at Dean. Cas stood helplessly in the middle of the room, looking fragile and tiny as Dean straddles his brother.

"Don't touch him!" Dean snaps as he grabs Sam's shirt collar and delivers a sharp blow to his temple, knocking him out cold. Sam falls limp onto the floor, arms splayed and head lolling to the side. 

The hunter turns to Cas who can see that his eyes are a dark, feldgrau looking green. Darker than normal, almost black in the shade of the bunker. Castiel takes a step back, his own blue eyes frightened and stretching wide. 

Sam's jaw was already forming a blue-purple bruise that would probably be more green tomorrow. It must have hurt. 

"Cas, please, don't be scared of me. I wouldn't hurt you." Dean murmurs softly, holding out his arms. Cas sniffles and wipes his eyes with the back of his trench coat sleeve. 

"I remember when you used to tell Sam that, too. How am I not supposed to be scared of you when you're....a- a monster? Dean, this isn't you." Cats pleads with him, taking another step back as Dean walks forward. His back hits the table, and Cas gulps softly at the prospect of having nowhere else to run to.

"But this is me, Cas. Wholly and fully...me. I want you to myself, and I can't have that if Sam is interfering all the time, now can I?" Dean's voice drips with sweetness that would never be there. Dean wasn't sweet. He was sarcastic. He hid his feelings with malice, and outbursts, and food, and sarcasm. 

Cas shakes his head and frowns. "You're not the Dean I know. You're not." he says as Dean takes another step closer. 

Sam's leg twitches, but Dean doesn't notice. Dean stares down at the angel and grimaces. 

"This isn't right." Dean mumbles suddenly, his eyes flashing back to his normal shade. Cas's face contorts into a painful understanding as Dean suddenly collapses, his knees buckling. Castiel catches him to soften the blow and holds him against him, cradling his head in his lap and crying softly. 

This wasn't anything they could find in the lore. This wasn't something that could be cured by asking Crowley, as they'd tried so many times before. Nothing but Dean would be able to fix this, and that would be nearly impossible. 

Sam groans quietly, holding his head as he sat up. "Cas? You ok? Is Dean ok?" he asks frantically, crawling over to them. 

"I figured it out. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but when Dean looked at me, his eyes flashed. I don't remember what I saw, but this is something only he himself can fix, Sam. Only Dean can...can right this." Castiel informs him, meeting his puppy dog brown eyes. 

"Cas, what the hell does that even mean?" Sam questions, looking confused. Of course he had understood that only Dean could get himself out of this funk, but nothing else made sense.

"Look, in angel lore, we have soul mates. Now, this is hard to grasp, but the soul mate can communicate with the angel on a subatomic level. He may be trying to tell me something I can't hear through his thoughts or as something he can say, so subconsciously he's trying to contact me through the subatomic level. They say eyes are the window to the soul, and that's true. Dean's soul was...wrong. I don't know exactly how, it's only when his eyes are brightest that I can see his soul, but it's not right. Dean's soul is...damaged, I guess you could say. Not in any way I can fix. This is something only he can right." Castiel explains, watching Sam's face go from confused, to pissed.

"So my brother's fucked up, is what you're saying?" he asks angrily. 

"On a general level, no. On-"

"We can't fix this? Only he can fix his fucking soul! Do you even know how fucked up that fucking sounds? Do you even know Dean at all!? Because he sure as hell isn't strong enough to fix whatever the hell is wrong with his soul. Do you even know how royally fucking screwed we are?" Sam stands up as he rants, glaring at the floor as he paces and cards his hands harshly through his hair.

Cas stays seated by Dean, resting two fingers against his forehead, but there is nothing he can do. "Sam, I can't even heal him enough to wake him up. This isn't good." Castiel looks fraught with worry. 

Dean is sweating now, his lips moving in a silent plea but no one can here him. His skin is pale, and he is barely breathing as Sam helps Cas move him. 

"It's ok, Cas. It'll be ok. We'll figure something out, right?" Sam nods at his own question as if in reassurance. But Cas can tell he doesn't even believe himself. There is a hint of doubt in his tone. 

Everything seemed to be falling apart around them, Dean included. And there was nothing they could do.

And it drove Castiel mad.


	4. Fighting Tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I have to remind myself to breath- almost remind my heart to beat!"

The next few weeks were a blur. Nothing Sam nor Cas could do would fix Dean. And of course Dean was becoming more public with his affection for Castiel. It started with that kiss in front of Sam, and slowly, gradually turned to groping and even shedding layers with his brother in the room.

Of course Sam always managed to leave before anything could be seen. It was as if Dean needed instant satisfaction. He felt the urge, and needed a way to get out his built up angst. So Cas, in a way, was just a tool at this point. 

Sam hated what Dean was doing to the angel. Hated seeing Cas so down all the time, so helpless. Cas was always looking at the ground now, his confidence shot. His eyes were never as bright as before, now they were a dull, lifeless blue. Even his trench coat seemed to droop with despair.

Dean seemed to have no idea he was hurting the angel, which made it worse. His cluelessness caused Cas more pain than he deserved. Sam was furious for the way Dean acted as well. Not to just Cas, but him as well. 

In public, Dean was constantly hanging all over Cas, draping his arm across his shoulders or kissing his cheek. And he would snap at Sam for the simplest things. He was getting worse and it stretched on endlessly. 

Sammy, do this. Sammy, do that. Sammy, I'm sick so you have to help me. It was never ending. 

Cas, help me up. Cas, I'm sore. Cas, Cas, Cas. It was all the angel could do to get some alone time. And that's what he needed. Even if he flew off, Dean would go off the handle in about two seconds. 

They were worried. Castiel especially. And with each passing day, he would wake Dean earlier and earlier as his vitals spiked. 

His heart was especially bad. It would stop altogether sometimes, and others would beat at ridiculously high speeds. That morning was no different.

Dean lays quietly beside the angel, one arm wrapped around his waist, and the other by his side. It wasn't until the sun began to rise that Dean's heart starts to beat faster. His breathing changes slightly, a lilting, underlying wheeze added in. 

He began to sweat buckets, and Cas took a moment to realize what had happened. He shook Dean awake, but it only succeeds in pissing him off more. 

"What the hell, Cas!? Stop fucking waking me up every goddamn morning!" he shouts as he stands and grabs his shirt from the floor. 

"Your heart was beating too fast. And you breathing was unsteady. I thought-"

"Yeah, well, you fucking thought wrong. Just shut the hell up before I make you." Dean interrupts him before he can finish his sentence. Cas gulps softly, his body tensing at the threat.

The prospect that Dean had even thought of hurting him frightens him. Did Dean even love him anymore? Or was he just a tool for Dean's pleasure? 

Cas looks long and hard at his hunter. His Dean. The planes of his face were the same, but the matter inside, his soul, was damaged. 

Not in the conventional way of course. It wasn't damaged because he'd hurt himself. He'd stripped it off its humanity. 

It was slowly losing every ounce of righteousness Dean had obtained. He silently wondered what would happen if he let Dean sleep. Would he become better? Of course, his caring nature would never allow him to let the hunter sleep. 

As Dean leaves the room to take a shower, Cas flies out to Sam's room. He looks down at the sleeping hunter. He looks peaceful. 

His long, brunet hair moves gently in the breeze from his fan. Cas is almost reluctant to wake him. But as he takes a step forward to shake him, he sits up his eyes wide, and a gun in his hand. 

"Cas. Damn, it was just you. I was worried someone had broken in." Sam mutters softly. He shakes his head, his hair following the movement. 

"I did not mean to frighten you." Cas apologizes, averting Sam's gaze in place for the ground. The floor was surprisingly clean in Sam's room. Dean usually just threw things on the floor. 

"It's fine, Cas. What's up? You didn't come in here to watch me sleep." Sam remarks with a chuckle at is joke. As he stands and stretches, he pats Cas's shoulder. "Look at me." he suddenly tells the angel.

Castiel had heard that order before from Dean. And if he disobeyed, he usually earned a small bite to his neck. Below the collar of his trench coat where Sam couldn't have possibly seen.

He immediately looks up, fear flashing in his eyes. 

Sam looks at him quietly, scanning his face with those puppy-dog brown eyes. They never missed anything it seemed because Sam is suddenly motioning to his collar.

"What happened there?" he asks gently, taking a step closer. Castiel takes a step back, pain shooting through his leg from last night. Dean had been especially rough yesterday, and had pulled several of Cas's muscles in the process of getting himself pleasured.

"Nothing, it's nothing." he answers, anger dancing in his dull blue orbs. 

"Cas, you don't have to lie to me." Sam tells him, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a tight, comforting hug. His height gave Cas a sense of security as he buries his head in Sam's broad chest.

It wasn't like Dean had meant to hurt him, right? Dean hadn't meant to bite that hard. Hadn't meant to be so rough. 

Cas flinches as Sam's arm skids across the bruise forming in his ribs where Dean had gripped his sides. Sam sets his hands on Cas's shoulders and pulls away, glaring into Cas's eyes. "What did he do to you last night? I heard some pretty....gruesome stuff last night." he seems to shudder at the memories.

Dean had been on growling and biting last night. He'd called Cas a few names, but nothing the angel didn't hear on a regular basis lately. And of course the bruising had caused Cas to cry out in pain whenever Dean brushed over it. And the pulled muscle in his leg was no better. And the scratches running down the length of Cas's back stung where Dean had dug his fingernails in, splitting the skin. 

Cas shakes his head and looks down at the ground. "Nothing. It was fine, just a little more rough than I'm used to." he says softly, voice breaking and breath hitching in his throat. He can feel the tears running rapidly down his face, but it doesn't register he's crying until Sam is wrapping him into another hug.

Softer than before, careful not to hurt the angel. Gentle, like Dean can't be at this point. He cries into Sam's shirt, sobs racking his body, causing his body to shake, and his hands clutch desperately at the fabric of Sam's flannel button up. 

Sam sighs softly, shaking his head as Dean passes the door, glancing in. He acts like he doesn't see Cas as he walks past effortlessly, as if Castiel doesn't matter anymore.

"Cas, I'm so sorry. I- I'm sorry, Cas." Sam says, voice wobbling with emotion. Cas shakes his head violently. 

"I just want my Dean back! I just want to fix him! I don't want this....this isn't what I want!" he cries, and Dean can hear the heartache and savagery in his throat. Something he'll never clear. 

He peeks in, sorrow written in his eyes. Cas looks so tiny, defenseless, broken as he holds onto Sam's clothes hopelessly. His usually upright wings drag on the ground, and the dust dirties his angel's beauty. Even the normal glow he held is gone, replaced only by depression.

He was doing this to his angel. This was his fault. He had hurting him, but for reason he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty. What was wrong with him? He didn't want to hurt his angel like this, and as he thought that, his mind clears. 

His eyes are bright, and he stands straighter. Cas was his angel, and he didn't want to hurt him. So why was he? Why not just stop? 

Although, if the answer was that easy it would've been over months ago. He shakes his head, and his eyes return to that dark, almost black green. 

He walks away from the door as Cas starts talking again. His voice grates on Dean's nerves.

"Sam...I just want the real him back." Castiel mumbles, sniffling as he backs away from Sam. The front of his shirt was damp, and Cas felt bad. Sam sighs softly and turns to heal a shirt from the dresser. He sheds the wet one, and Cas's eyes are so dead, he doesn't care that Sam is shirtless. 

Sam slips the shirt on, pulling it down to cover his abs. It was a little tight fitting, and defines his biceps fully. Cas blinks, looking down at the floor as Sam turns to him again. "Come on, buddy. Want to help me research?" he asks.

It wasn't much, but for Cas it was all he needed. He nods slightly and follows Sam out to the main room. Sam stops by the kitchen a second to make himself a cup of coffee and grab a salad for breakfast.

Cas looks at him for a moment, shaking his head slightly. The food they ate was one of the only differences in the brothers he'd ever noticed. Sam's love for 'rabbit food,' as Dean put it, horrified his older brother.

Castiel chuckles softly at the memory, but his smile quickly falls when he sees Dean in the main bunker. He leans against the table, hands splaying and bone white on the surface. His legs shake, and a harsh growl erupts from his mouth. 

Cas runs up to him, a hand on his back as he calls his name softly. "Dean, what's wrong?" he asks gently, gripping Dean's shoulder with increasing pressure. 

"Don't....hurt...him!" Dean growls, as his dark eyes shift to look up at Cas. They are bloodshot now, and they glow a sickeningly bright, creamy color. Cas takes a step back at the same time Dean lunges at him.

"Dean!" Sam yells as he tackles him. Dean roars and kicks his brother away easily. 

"Please! Stay away from me!" Dean pleads, his voice returning to a normal octave. "Help me!" he suddenly screams, his words lurching unsteadily. 

Cas leans against a pillar, looking fearful and helpless. He wants to help Dean, but what was he supposed to do? 

Sam stands, a small groan escaping his lips as he does. Dean flicks his head quickly to look at Sam, a smirk playing on his mouth. "Sammy? Keep Cas....safe." he manages to say, squeezing his eyes shut as he fights with whatever is happening.

His shoulders are hunched as he stands on his hands and knees. His fingers grasp at the floor, blood beginning to seep through the raw skin. 

As he opens his eyes, they can see nothing but the same creamy film. Cas couldn't see his soul anymore. All he saw was the perfectly sculpted face of his hunter locked in pain and misery. 

He can't help himself. He flies over, kneeling by Dean with a worrying expression. "Cas, no!" Sam shouts his name, running to help as Dean's face flicks up to meet the angel's. 

He charges him, pinning him to the ground with a loud crack that has Castiel screaming in agony. Dean grins wickedly, the cream film disappearing. It leaves only the dark, emotionless, green of his hunter's eyes. 

This wasn't Dean. This was Dean's soul, stripped of all emotions, and righteousness, and humanity. Stripped of all compassion he ever had, all love, leaving nothing but darkness and a vengeful Dean.

Dean raises a fist, bringing it down just as Cas bobs his head out of the way. The impact leaves a small streak of blood on the floor, his knuckles opening. Sam takes his brother down again, punching him a few times before Dean manages to throw him off with an elbow to his face. 

Cas can't move. Dean had broken his rib when he landed, and the angel had already been slowly losing his grace. It would take much longer to heal than normal. Sam was up again, dragging Dean back by his legs. 

Dean raises his logger boots and sharply kicks Sam's knees. A sharp snap sounds and Sam falls to the floor, groaning in pain as he lands in his side. Dean manages to get another kick at Sam's face, giving him a foul nosebleed.

Dean grabs Cas's collar, straddling his waist as he looks down at the angel. "All you ever do is hurt us. You don't belong here, angel. You're a waste. Nothing. I never loved you. You were just a tool so I could have fun. There was never anything more." Dean says softly, eyes hard. He knees his arm, and Cas struggles at the blinding pain.

Cas can see spots already dancing across his vision from the pain. Dean raises a fist and brings it down into Cas's nose. A pop echoes through the room, but Castiel doesn't register the pain. Because it was nothing compared to what Dean had said. Nothing compared to the biting, heartbreaking, anguish his Dean had inflicted on him. 

Dean lunges him again, driving his fist harshly into the angel's temple, his cheekbones, and the sharp cut of his jaw. 

Sam crawls toward the two, but with his kneecap broken, there's not much he can do except watch. "Dean! Please...stop! Don't you see who he is?" Sam calls, and the grief in his voice causes Dean to look up. His eyes flash forest green for a split second before returning to the darkness.

"Dean. That's Cas. Your angel. The love of your life, Dean. Please, stop hurting him. He loves you, and look at what you're doing to him. You're killing him." Sam's voice is pleading and as Dean glances down at Cas, his eyes soften slightly.

Cas doesn't look good at all. The ridge above his eye is cut open and freely spilling blood. A sharp, giant bruise was already forming on his jawline, and his cheeks are swollen slightly from the impact. He is starting to get a black eye as well, and his nose is twisted and broken. Not to mention all the blood.

It pooled around Cas's head and settled around it like a halo. Dean lets go of his collar, a sharp groan spilling out of his mouth as he clutched at his chest. Cas could hear his heart beating faster, and the sweat beading at his hairline was starting to pour down his face. He coughs up a few splatters of blood, eyes wide and scared.

Cas couldn't raise his arm though, as Dean had broken it where his knees had knelt. Sam watches in horror as his brother falls beside his angel, gasping for breath and eyes flashing back and forth between forest green, pale green, and the dark green. 

Cas tries to help, but a cry of pain makes him stop short. Sam clutches at his knee, and sniffles slightly. A burning travels up his nose, and he remembers the blood streaming down to his mouth. 

Dean lets out a earsplitting scream of agony and finally passes out. Sam manages to crawl the rest of the way to his brother. He shifts his legs, grimacing at the sharp stab in his knee. He grabs Dean's head, setting it in his lap gently. Cas can hear his heart beating rapidly, the uneven breathing, the wheezing. Even if Sam can't. 

"Sam." Cas's voice is pitifully small in the room as he gasps softly for air. The broken rib was cutting into his lungs, and even though he didn't need air to live, his vessel did.

Sam looks at Cas and picks him up. One arm under his legs, and the other around his back. He stumbles unsteadily to his room as it was closer, and sets Cas in his bed. He nearly falls a few time from the pain, but Cas trusts him to keep him safe. 

Sam braces himself against the bed, lifting his leg like a wounded puppy off the ground. 

"Sam, here." Cas raises his good arm and presses two fingers to Sam's forehead. Sam sets his leg down and stands straighter. With a thankful nod he leaves the room for Dean. Cas finally allows himself to cry, but no tears would come.

This wasn't a pain he could escape with a few tears. This was a pain that demanded to be felt, and wouldn't leave. No tears came because Cas wasn't ready to face the fact that his hunter had said those things. Those hurtful, disgusting things. 

Castiel notices Sam carrying Dean down the hallway, easily navigating the stairs down to his brother's room. He can hear the door open, and the slight creak of the bed springs as he sets him down. 

Cas raises his hand again, pressing two fingers to his own forehead. He manages to heal the broken rib and his swollen cheeks, but can't conjure up enough grace to heal anything else. The cut above his eye is still bleeding, and his black eye hurts. But his physical pain was nothing compared to the beating his heart had taken at Dean's words. 

He stands, ignoring the pull of his sore muscle as he walks down the hall to his hunter's room. Sam sits on the floor, staring at the bed intensely. 

Cas glances at Dean before moving to sit by Sam. "Are you still hurt?" he asks softly, but Sam shakes his head and sighs softly.

"What Dean said...you have to know that wasn't him. You know that right?" Sam informs him, moving his head to look at the angel.

"I know that, Sam. Just because it wasn't the real Dean, doesn't mean it didn't hurt. That was his soul, Sam. Stripped of every good emotion he had. I could see it in his eyes. He was trapped inside. The real Dean." Castiel tells Sam, not meeting his gaze. 

He stares at the floor, his blue eyes morose. Sam sighs softly, not adding anything. He knew there was nothing he could say to assuage Cas's nerves at his point. The angel stands up, and turns away from the bed. A rustle of his wings lets Sam know he's gone, and probably won't be for a while.

Dean lays motionless on his bed, the only movement the unsteady up and down of his breathing. It was weird. To see Dean so defenseless, especially after what had just happened.

Sam stands too, taking a long look at his brother before leaving the room and shutting the door. He goes to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of bleach and a bucket. 

After getting a few old rags from the garage, he sets to work cleaning the bunker floor. He scrubs at the pool of blood where Cas had been. He scrubs at the floor where Dean had torn his fingers up. He scrubs at the ground where Dean had given him a bloody nose. Scrubs at the place Dean had coughed up blood. Scrubs at places that don't need scrubbing just to keep himself busy. 

When he's done, the bunker is clean, but somehow looks more dirty than ever. Sam throws the rags across the room, kicking the bucket over before collapsing in the floor in a fit of sobs. After all he had done to help his brother, help Cas, it was never enough.

Sam cries for Cas's hurt. He cries for his brother's soul. Cries for his own wellbeing. Cries for Kevin and Bobby and his mother and Ellyn and Jo and everyone they had known that had died. Even Garth was gone. 

They had no one. Not just because of how their life was, but also because they had driven everyone away. And just when Sam thought they'd had a friend in Cas, Dean had chased him off with heartbreak and endless amounts of pain the angel didn't deserve. 

It was too much for him to handle. He grabs his phone and dials Bobby's number quickly, raising the phone to his ear. He had hoped to hear his friend's voicemail, to hear Bobby's voice one more time.

But someone picks up. "Hello?" It was a woman's voice. Of course they should've know someone would move in. "Hello, is someone there?" Sam sniffles and shakes his head slightly.

"I'm sorry to bother you ma'am. My friend used to live here, and he passed away. I was hoping to get voicemail so I could hear him again." Sam tells her truthfully, his voice breaking with sorrow. 

"Oh, dear. I'm sorry about your friend. I'll hang up and you can call again. I haven't gotten a chance to change the voicemail on the landline yet. I won't answer." the woman tells him, right as a click is heard and the line goes dead.

Sam smiles slightly and dials the number again. It rings and then cuts to the voicemail. Bobby's snarky voice is heard as he starts the message.

"This is Bobby Singer's direct hotline. You should not have this number." Sam grins at the old message. The one Bobby hadn't ever changed. The beep echoes, and Sam is about to hang up when he smiles slightly.

"Hey Bobby. I know you're....gone. But I only called to hear your voice again. Dean and I got in a fight about Cas again. Imagine that. Dean isn't well, and I wish I could talk to you about it. Just....stay good, Bobby." Sam hangs up, pressi the heel of his hand into his eyes forcefully. 

His phone rings and he answers it without looking at the caller ID. "You should've told me you were Sam Winchester. I can help you. Drive up here, bring Castiel too. I can help." It was the woman from before. And before Sam could ask she was already hanging up. 

Sam stands, pacing the room as he thought. He dials Cas's number and waist. "I don't understand. Why- why do you want me to say my name?" Cas's voicemail is all he gets and he sighs heavily as the beep sounds.

"Hey, Cas, it's Sam. Call me back when you can." Sam hangs up and sets his phone on the table before righting the bucket he had kicked over. He grabs the rags and begins soaking the bleach up in them. 

There is already a small, discoloration forming on the floor where the puddle had gone. He tries not to pay it any mind. 

It only takes a few more minutes for his phone to ring again. He quickly stands and flips it open and to his ear.

"Sam. You called." Cas remarks. Sam smiles at his abruptness and chuckles.

"Yeah. Look I called Bobby's. There's a woman living there now. She says she can help us. She knew my name. And yours, Cas." Sam tells the angel, starting to pace again. When he stops, Cas still hasn't answered. He sets a hand on his hip and raises his eyebrows, looking forlorn.

"Did you get her name?" Castiel asks finally.

"What? No, I didn't get her name. Cas, she can help us." Sam repeats, trying to get the angel to listen.

"I'll be back in a few minutes. Give me a second." Cas hangs up and Sam is left in silence again.   
\----  
Cas had flown to Bobby's. An archangel lived there, named Adina. She wasn't exactly on his side, but had agreed to help Castiel with a price. She knew what was wrong with Dean. And how to fix it. 

So Cas met her in secret. Sam hadn't know he was already there, speaking with her as they spoke.

"So, Castiel. You say Dean did this to you? Dean Winchester? The love of your life?" she asks, a smile emerging on her lips. Cas blushes and nods, not meeting her eyes. 

He could still feel the burning of the scratches, and the pain of the bites. Adina raises her hand and heals him, leaving him feeling better than he'd felt in a while.

"Thank you, Adina. It is valiant if you to procure what we will need to heal Dean. And to enact the spell for us as well." Cas tells her, looking grateful. 

Adina grins and tilts her head slightly. "Well, the Winchesters are quite popular. I look forward to a chance at working with them. They are very handsome too. Especially the short one." she remarks, looking at Cas as he tenses. 

"Oh. I forgot. He is already taken by someone. Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Stakes his claim on a man. How in angel like. Don't you think? Our father did not raise us to betray him like that, Castiel. You know this. So why did you pick the Winchester?" Adina asks him.

"I didn't betray our father by picking someone I loved. I betrayed Him by fighting against him every step of the way. I picked Dean because his soul was pure, and he had nothing but good intents for everything he did. And he was kind to me when no one else was." Castiel replies, nearly glaring at her. 

Adina chuckles softly and her smile falls. "I wish I could love as wholly as you, Castiel. I am a bit jealous at your love for the hunter. But I must say, he is rather intriguing. You have made a good choice in him." she reassures him, smiling sweetly. 

"I will be back with Sam and Dean. You have a while to get what we'll need for the spell. Until then." Cas nods at her, and she flaps her picturesque golden wings. 

Cas stretched out his own wings, plucking a stray feather that had been damaged in the fight. The silver and gold streaks were dull, and the usually bright blue tips were faded. He doesn't seem to care as he flew off back to the bunker. 

He sighs softly as he lands inside, feeling heavy again. The first thing he notices is the fading brown of the floorboards. "Sam?" Cas calls, realizing the blood is gone. He can hear rustling as Sam walks out, putting something behind him. 

"Oh, Cas. It's you. So are we going?" Sam asks him, changing the subject. Cas nods and motions for him to follow.

"I'll transport Dean into the car and you can drive." he tells the hunter. Sam looks confused a moment. 

"Can't you just fly us there?" Sam asks him. Castiel stops and turns to look at him. 

"I believe it would be better for Dean if you just drove us." he answers. Sam nods and watches him and Dean disappear before grabbing the keys to the Impala and following them outside. 

Something seems off, but as he climbs into the car his worries escape him. Cas lays Dean in the back, before sitting in the front without another word.

Sam starts the engine before racing off down the road.


	5. Souls and Chakras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love is only strong when you make it so."

They drove quickly, speeding down the road. It was unusual as Sam was the one to drive safe. Dean was usually the reckless driver, speeding well over the posted speed limit without a care.

Of course his brother was in danger. Their love, albeit interdependent, was strong and powerful. Castiel couldn't grasp it at all, so he didn't ask questions.

It was sometimes odd to see Dean and Sam together. They were so similar, but also so different. He tended to keep to himself about the thoughts of the two brothers.

When they finally reached Bobby's house, the lights were on and Adina was waiting by the door. She carries candles in her hands.

"Cas, what is she holding?" Sam asks the angel, looking mildly concerned. Everything she held was white, including the robes she wore. What spell did she say she was casting again? It hit Cas that he hadn't been told the name. How foolish he'd been.

"When you told me I flew here. She is an archangel named Adina. She told me she can cast a spell to cure Dean. Something about a Yorubain God." Cas replies, helping Sam lift Dean out of the Impala.

"Quickly, Castiel. We must make haste before we run out of time. Bring them in, hurry." Adina says as she holds the door open for them. Sam sets Dean on the couch and looks around.

Cas sees a sparkling, crystal bowl with five eggs beside it. Each one had their name on it. Adina holds two white candles, and a small white square of something. 

There were small bowls filled with burning coconut, white rice, cascarilla powder, and white Shea and cocoa butter. 

"Here, Castiel. Put this in the bowl on my desk." She hands him the white square and he looks down at it in confusion. "It is just camphor." she adds. 

He sets it in the bowl filled with spring water and watches as the white spreads throughout the water, creating a shimmering effect. 

"These should be placed on either side of the bowl." She gives him the candles and he sets the, parallel to each other on opposite sides of the crystal bowl. "I bathed them in a cast away evil oil, and jasmine." she says suddenly, making Cas shake his head. 

"Set the eggs in the bowl as well." Cas grabs the five eggs, and gently places them in the bowl. He didn't understand why he was the one doing this. 

She lights the candles quietly and then breathes a sigh. "Take a deep breath, dear hunter. You will need it." she mumbles softly.

"What spell are you casting?" Sam finally pipes in, glancing at all the things. 

"I am summoning a Yoruba God of healing. Obatala's days are Sunday and Thursday. It is Sunday, so I deemed he would be best to call upon." She informs them, smiling to herself.

"Now, link hands and sit in front of the hunter." She holds out her hand and Cas and Sam take them, sitting on the floor in front of Dean. 

"We will pray. Repeat after me." She closes her eyes and prompts them both to do the same. 

"Ki ji kutukutu." she starts, her voice taking on an edge. The boys repeat her words with slight trepidation. 

"Ka mu ohun ipin ko'pin." her eyes begin to glow slightly as she continues. When the two answer with identical words, her hands shudder.

"d'Ifa fun Olomo-ajiba're-pade. Emi ni mo ji ni kutukutu ti mo f'ohun ipin ko'pin." Her voice is unwavering as she speaks. The boys answer her. 

"Emi ni mo ba ire pade l'ola." She finishes the prayer, and opens her eyes. 

"To wake up early morning. And give destiny its due. Devine for the person that will met-with-luck. It is me that gives destiny its due on my waking in the morning. Therefore, it is me that will met with luck today and tomorrow." she answers her own Yoruba prayer with the English translation. 

As she takes her hands away, Cas and Sam can feel the air growing lighter, and the wind begin to pick up.

She stands and clasps her hands together, seemingly welcoming someone. "Soft is the rain, it gently falls upon the fields beneath. It lulls the heart, it stills the Mind. It patters down so gently, yet it ne'er does bend a leaf." As she starts another prayer, rain begins to fall, gently.

Sam and Castiel exchange a look of surprise. "And yet the water that is there, will wash away all grief. For smoothness follows in the wake, and quiet, peace, and love. Are all around in freshness new, come down from clouds above." 

They rain picks up, and the winds howls loudly outside, setting goosebumps across Sam's skin. Cas can feel the hair on the back of his neck crawling with anticipation. 

"All evil go, flow out from here. And leave all fresh and plain. Let negativity not come, into this mind again. For love, I now find all around." She stops suddenly, turning to Castiel and Sam. 

"So soft, so still, so sure; this hunter can live his life and grow, as peace and quiet endure." As she finishes she motions to the angel and beckons him forward. 

"Say a prayer so that Obatala may come and heal the hunter. A prayer of love, or of friendship." She glances at Sam before adding, "Or of brotherhood." 

Cas stands and Adina guides him to where she wants him. 

As he looks down at Dean a few tears prick his eyes. "I don't know any Yoruba prayers." he finally tells her softly.

"It does not have to be Yorubain, Castiel. Just pray." Adina reassures him gently.

"Dear Lord, I offer you this prayer, to help me with our current relationship issues. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience, and understanding." Cas's voice breaks as he holds back his tears. 

His Dean is motionless, unmoving, and he silently wonders if he should continue.

"Bless me and my partner, so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges come our way. Fill our hearts with love for each other, and may you make each one of us realize each other's worth. Please touch the heart of my partner, fill it with much love for me." 

Cas stops again, choking on a silent sob. The wind rattles the windows, and Sam stands up, causing Adina to silence him. 

"Make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us. Lead us not into temptations. Guide us wherever we go. Always put us in each other's heart and mind. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I love you. Amen." Castiel finishes and Adina motions for Sam to take his place. 

"I don't know any prayers, though." he exclaims, looking worried. Cas raises his fingers, and Sam stops. Castiel gives Sam knowledge of every prayer he'd ever heard, seen, or read. 

"Loving Lord I thank you for my brother – I love him dearly, but Lord I know that you care for him so much more that I ever could - for your whole nature is bathed and brimming with perfect love and deep compassion." Sam blinks in surprise as he speaks.

"Heal my dear brother I pray, not only of his physical ailments, but more importantly I pray that you would address his spiritual need. Lord he has played the fool and I pray that in your love and compassionate mercy you will convict him of sin in his life through Jesus Christ, who is his only door into eternal life." Sam stops again, looking at Cas in thanks.

"You have called each of us to pray earnestly for all men, and especially those of our own household – and though I know this means I should pray for all my born-again brothers and sisters in Christ – I am sure that it includes the brother that is a part of my earthly family. And so I come to you today to plead that in your grace and mercy, you would bring my own brother, whom I love dearly, to recognise his need of Jesus. Heal him Lord in body, soul and spirit I pray, in Jesus precious name, Amen." 

Sam finishes and steps away, allowing Adina to drape a silken, white blanket over Dean. She whispers something in his ear, and dips her finger in the spring water before dabbing a spot on his head.

"May this open your seventh chakra that you may be in tune with your spiritual body and mind." she murmurs. She daps a spot in between his eyes then and continues.

"May this open your sixth chakra that you may have the ability to focus on the bigger picture in your everyday life." she says softly, before moving on to his throat.

"May this open you fifth chakra that you may have the ability to properly communicate the truth." Her mouth barely moves as she speaks.

Cas and Sam silently wonder if the truth is what they need, but decide against asking any questions. She places her finger on his chest, right over where his heart would be.

"May this open your fourth chakra that you may be able to show love to your partner and have inner peace." she shoots a smile at Castiel before continuing on. She sets her finger on his stomach, making a wave of jealousy crash over Cas at her contact with his hunter.

"May this open your third chakra that you may be in control of your life and confident in your decisions." she closes her eyes slightly, deep in thought.

"May this open you second chakra that you may accept others and new experiences along with being prosperous." she says as she sets her finger lightly against his lower stomach.

She then places her finger just above his crotch, closing her eyes as she speaks. "May this open your first chakra that you may feel grounded financially." Cas's fists clench as he watches her, heat radiating through his body.

As she finishes the rain and wind stop abruptly and she stands up straight. Her eyes glow with a white light, and as she smiles her body floats up slightly.

"You have called upon me, Yoruba God, Obatala, to heal the hunter of which you speak. His body is in tune with the elements and the earth so he may be spiritually healed." Cas takes a step back as power flows through the room.

Sam watches in awe as Obatala sets his hand flat on Dean's chest. "This man has been troubled for a long while. It will be painful for him if I heal him. The road to recovery for this hunter will be short, though, and he will heal fully. His heart is still full of tenderness and compassion though his soul is devoid of all emotion." Obatala tells them, raising his hand away and sighs sadly.

"The negativity residing in his chakras is extraordinary." 

"Which one?" Sam asks in curiosity, looking only mildly confused. 

"Seventh; his crown chakra. Fifth; his throat chakra. Fourth; his heart chakra. Third; his solar plexus chakra. And second; his sacral chakra." Obatala informs them, looking forlorn. He'd never seen anyone so damaged, both emotionally and spiritually. 

"That's five. Out of seven. How is that possible?" Castiel suddenly spits out, eyes squinted in bitterness. 

"I am not completely aware myself. It should never have occurred. It is almost as if someone constructed a chasm in his mind so deep nothing but negativity to could escape. It overtook his entire being until there was nothing left but a monstrosity." the God tells the angel, shaking his head slightly.

It was almost comical to hear such a deep, dark, commanding voice coming out of Adina as she was so tiny. Obatala used every ounce of her power though.

"I will heal him now. He will be in pain, but it should only last a few minutes...or hours." Obatala says as he places both of his hands on Dean's forehead. Sam grabs Cas's hand as the angel tenses.

Dean lets out an agonized scream of pain, and Cas nearly runs to him. The only thing stopping him is Sam. The younger Winchester was there for him. Obatala closes his eyes, his brow furrowing in concentration. 

"I have healed his seventh chakra. His spirit and soul will be fully his own." Obatala tells them, moving his hands to Dean's throat. Sam is now the one tensing and Castiel grabs at his sleeve, shaking his head. The hunter's Adam's apple bobs with apprehension. 

Dean tenses, his hands bone white, and his eyes flying open as he struggles to breath. Cas can't take it anymore, he runs to Dean's side only to be thrown back by Obatala's power. "Do not interfere, Castiel, Angel of the Lord. This must be done if you wish him to be healed." 

Sam's eyes stretch wide as Dean settles finally, his eyes closing and his breathing returning to normal. "I have healed his fifth chakra. His truths and lies shall be easily determined and known." 

Cas glances at the God silently. "So what now?" he asks softly, although he already knew he answer. Obatala places his hands on Dean's chest, over his heart. 

The green eyed hunter shudders, heart beating fast and loud. Sam glances at Castiel sadly, wondering if all of this would work. Obatala groans quietly, his hands beginning to shake in uncertainty. 

"I cannot undo the damage done to his fourth chakra." he takes his hands away, letting out a relieved sigh. "The hunter's heart chakra is too mutilated. I feel as if nothing can fix this. If you wish I will heal the other chakras." he lets them see Dean, who's eyelids are fluttering. 

"Uh, yes. Please, continue." Sam says quickly, nodding his agreement. Cas sighs softly and looks at Dean in worry. 

"I was asking the hunter's angel. No offense to you, Samuel Winchester, but you are not the One." Obatala looks ominous as he tells Sam. Cas blinks in surprise and turns his now bright blue eyes to the God.

"Of course. If you believe it is necessary to continue, then please continue." Castiel tells him softly. Obatala nods and places his hands on Dean's upper abdomen. The hunter lets out a sigh and mumbles Cas's name. 

Cas's eyes widen at the shock of hearing Dean call his name again. Obatala nods happily and turns to Castiel as he heals the hunter.

"The third chakra is sureness of decisions and control of life. This means he is sure if his decision in you, Castiel, Angel of the Lord." Cas can't help a small smile that He tries to hide. 

"I have healed his third chakra. His decisions are his own and the control of his life will grow." Obatala takes a deep, calculated breath before moving his hands lower on Dean's stomach. 

Dean yells Sam's name, fear coursing through his voice as he screams. They take a step back as the wind whips through the small space, Sam's hair blowing away from his face and fanning out behind him. Cas's trench coat ruffles loudly, and the tie he wears is blown behind his head.

"Fear not Dean Winchester, hunter of monsters, lover of the angel, brother to Samuel Winchester. Be freed from your negativity as I purge it from your body that you may be healed and fixed. May your love be more caring. Your life more prosperous. Your mind more focused. Your senses more heightened. Your skills sharper. And may you live a long peaceful life." Obatala's words echo through the room, and his eyes spark blue before he is thrown across the room.

He collapses against the floor, and as he rises, they see it is Adina again. Her body shakes as she stands unsteadily, leaving Sam to help her balance. 

Cas walks to Dean's side, wind still flowing freely through the house and roaring past his ears. Just as abruptly as it started it stops altogether, a whisper of, "I have healed the hunter as well as I can," disappearing with it.

Dean's eyes fly open and he sits up quickly, nearly ramming his head with Cas's. "Cas." his voice is husky with emotion as he stands and tightly hugs the angel. 

Cas returns the hug lovingly, squeezing Dean as if he might leave. "Oh, Cas, baby, I'm sorry for everything I did. And what I said...please that wasn't true, Cas, you gotta believe me. You're not worthless. To me you're everything. And I love you Castiel." Dean says sweetly, pulling Cas's chin up to meet his gaze.

He kisses him passionately, making Cas's cheeks heat up and his body tingle with want. He had almost forgotten the taste of his hunter's mouth on his own. He had missed the gentle touch of Dean's hands at his sides. He had nearly forgotten what it felt like to have his Dean kiss him so tenderly, so lovingly. 

Sam clears his throat and Dean pulls away, a smirk on his face. "Sammy." he laughs and hugs his brother for a while, patting his back and smiling happily.

"Castiel. Blow out the candles, quickly." Adina suddenly says as the sun begins to rise. Cas walks over and blows out the candles as told. Adina reaches his side and pulls out the eggs from the bowl, spilling the water on the floor in a rush. 

"Sam, dump the contents of those five bowls. Hurry." her voice is pleading as Sam knocks over the bowls onto the floor. He wasn't sure what else to do, as she hurriedly removes her white robe, revealing clothes underneath.

"Dean, toss this into the fire." she hands Dean the robes and he turns and throws them in. A sigh of relief is heard from the archangel and she smiles.

"You are cured. Obatala has done his job well, of course. I am sorry for the rush, but you must be going. Drive home quickly now. Go on." she shoos them out the door and slams it shut. 

"What the hell's up her ass?" Dean asks in confusion as he heads toward the Impala. 

"Should you be driving Dean?" Sam asks his brother. Dean looks over at him and snorts. Sam rolls his eyes before tossing him the keys and clambers in.

"I don't think she told us everything about that spell. Drive, Dean." Sam says forcefully, prompting his brother. 

"Not without, Cas, dammit, Sammy!" Dean exclaims sharply.  
\----  
Adina quickly cleans everything in the house up. Tossing the white blanket into the fire as well. "Castiel, you must help me rid myself of these candles." she tells him, handing him the white candles.

"Why? Adina why are you cleaning everything? What purpose does this serve?" Cas asks her in bewilderment. 

"Castiel, the magic I used to summon Obatala was very strong, powerful Wiccan magic. It sends out a beacon, to everything. Demons, tulpas, shapeshifters, werewolves, everything. If they saw it, they will come. And I do not want any of you here when they do." Adina tells him.

"You must go." she adds as she shoves him toward the door.

"Adina, we can protect you." Castiel tells her quickly.

"I don't need protection, Castiel. I can fight my own battles. Just go, I will be ok." she snaps her fingers and sends him flying off.  
\----  
Castiel appears in the backseat and Dean revs the engine, racing down the road with a determined grimace on his face.

"Adina failed to mention that it takes massive amounts of resources to perform Wiccan magic like that. Sources that could led anything to her. That's why she made us leave." Cas tells them, shaking his head morosely.

"Great. So demons or some shit like that, is that what we're fucking talking about, Cas?" Dean asks aggressively, white-knuckling the steering wheel. The road they were on was tiny, and barely had room for two cars to pass each other.

"Yes." he answers earnestly, which makes Dean slam his foot heavily on the gas pedal. They were driving 35 miles over the 55 mile speed limit. 

As they speed away from Bobby's, Cas can't help but grin. He had his Dean back. His sarcastic, pie-loving, sweet, sometimes dicky Dean. Wholly and fully his own hunter. 

But the smile fell when he remembers something Obatala had said. That he couldn't fix the fourth chakra. The heart chakra, which was in control of love and inner peace. The God couldn't physically fix it, and it made Cas want to scream. 

Suddenly Dean grits his teeth, as a low, wrenching moan of pain escapes his lips and they swerve sharply. Sam throws his hands up to shield himself, and Cas is too dumbfounded to move as they soar above the grassy plain and crash brutally into the hillside. 

Everything seems to move in slow motion as the car lifts above the slight hill in the road. Dean's eyes stretch wide, and his breath hitches.

The sickening sound of grating metal, the stuttering engine, and a harsh scream of Dean's name is the last thing any of them hear as the world turns deathly quiet and completely black.


	6. Deafening Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Nothing in this world will keep me from you." 
> 
> (The words in parenthesis are what people are really saying.)

Sam opens his eyes first, looking out at the green expanse stretching before them. The Impala's engine is steaming, and the hood is scrunched up, almost blocking the windshield. The windows were all shattered, except the one by Dean. 

Sam lifts his hand to see it was covered in blood, and as he looks down, his shirt was flowing more blood into the front seat. His head aches, and as he pulls down the mirror he sees it is cut open to the bone beneath, a small fragment of glass embedded in it.

Looking around he realizes his neck is extremely sore. He glances over at Dean and his breath catches in his throat. 

His brother's eyes were open, but unblinking. His jaw was torn open, his nose broken badly enough to see the cartilage and bones. Dean's left arm is twisted at an unnatural angle at the elbow, and both of his legs were limp and dead.

"Dean?" Sam's voice sounds faraway, and as he raises his hand to shake his brother's shoulder, a stab of pain shoots through his entire body and he passes out again.  
\----  
Sirens and flashing lights are what wake him up again. Adina had seen the crash and called paramedics immediately before she flew off.

The paramedics rush to the car, wheeling three stretchers alongside them. Sam groans softly as one of them tries to pry Sam's door open. "This man's awake!" he shouts to the others. 

The fire trucks block off the road, and the police officers mill about, looking useless. A dull crunch is heard and Sam looks over. Everything seems to move slowly, like he was in a dream.

They tear the Impala's door off, helping Sam out and onto one of the stretchers. The only thing he can think of is that Dean won't like them mutilating his car. 

"I need a defibrillator stat!" Someone yells. They had gotten Dean out of the car. And they needed to restart his heart. Sam feels tears running down his face. 

"It's going to be ok, sir. Just stay calm." The guy pushing him to the ambulance nods reassuringly. His hair was golden brown, and his eyes were like liquid orbs of sunlight. 

"Gabriel?" Sam asks softly, looking confused. The man looks down again, and Sam sees that he has blonde hair and dull, dark brown eyes. "My brother. That guy's my brother." Sam manages to say through the muddled, pain-filled feeling.

"He'll be ok. And your friend will make it." The man lifts Sam into the ambulance as he tells him. Sam groans in anguish as his hand is jarred against the side of the door.

The guys fixes it for him, putting his hand over his cut open stomach. "Keep pressure on this." 

He leaves. Dean is worse than Sam thought. His scalp is bleeding profusely, a long, deep cut stretching from the middle of his forehead to just behind his ear. Along with his badly broken arm, his right leg was fractured, and his left leg was dislocated. 

His nose has a jagged scratch on it, and is broken. And the muscles in his jaw were torn, making it look slack and open. Not to mention his heart had stopped. 

"Close those wounds! Get the other guy out of the damn car!" The guy that had helped Sam screams hurriedly. The two others rush to help Castiel. 

He isn't breathing either. His entire body is limp and bloody and marred with cuts, bruises, scraps, and scratches. The ridge above his eyebrow was pouring blood into his staring eyes. His nose was bleeding more into his open mouth. Both of his legs were badly broken, one at the knee, the other at his ankle. His neck was covered in tiny scratches from the glass. 

The cuts along his stomach were deep. The paramedics could see his muscle beneath them. His white shirt was soaked with blood, and it was spreading quickly. His hand was twisted the wrong way, and his chest was littered with small shards of glass. His eyes were lifeless and all the light that was once in the blue lakes was gone.

"I'm not getting a pulse!" one of the two says loudly. Sam can't think straight, and he tries to sit up. 

"Woah. Easy there. You've lost a lot of blood, sir. Just stay there." Sam jumps at the unfamiliar voice and lays back down quickly. He just wanted to see his brother, alive.

"Clear!" a voice rings out through the metal doors of the ambulance and Sam can hear an electric sound. They were staring to bring Dean back.

"Clear!" the man yells, pressing the metal plates down on Dean's chest. Electricity causes him to arch his back, but no response otherwise. He rubs them together quickly.

"Clear!" he shouts again, shoving the plates down. Dean doesn't budge. They had managed to close some of his wounds and stop his bleeding, but without blood it wasn't of any use. 

"Sir! We're losing him!" Sam squeezes his eyes shut, imagining a familiar face. Golden brown hair, and sunlit eyes. That playful smirk and the wide, wicked grin. His unending tricks and sarcastic snark.

The paramedics rush Castiel onto the next ambulance. He was breathing again, but it was shallow and uneven. They tap the back twice, and the vehicle races off, sirens echoing through the empty day.

The guy in the ambulance with Sam hooks him up to an IV and a heart monitor. Sam flinches at the needle as the man gently pushes it into his skin. 

Dean is still unresponsive. The man keeps trying. He had made a promise to the tall one that his brother would be fine. He had to keep it. 

He rubs the metal together, pushing them into the guy's chest one last time. Light returns to his eyes and he gasps for breath, clutching his chest with his good arm.

"Fuckin' hell." Dean exclaims in a raspy voice. "Where's my brother? Where's Cas?" he asks quickly, immediately knowing they weren't with him. 

He looks over at the car and blinks rapidly. The tires were all flat, and nearly coming off rims. The hood was totaled, and smoke hisses out of Baby's engine. The windows were smashed open except for his. He could see the black marks on the road where they had swerved.

"Your brother is safe. And your friend is on the way to the hospital now." The man finally answers Dean's question, helping a few others to get Dean on the stretcher.

They wheel him to the ambulance Sam is in and open the door. Lifting him in, they stop him beside his brother. 

"Sammy?" Dean's voice is disbelieving. His brother looks bad. A piece of glass stuck in the open, garish wound on his head. A huge gash mars his brother's arm, from the wrist to his bicep. 

His stomach was cut open, and his neck had a festering cut running from his collarbones to his jawline. 

"Dean." Sam's voice is soft, and ragged. Dean reaches out his good arm and Sam takes it in his own, tears pricking the edge of his eyes. "I almost lost you today, Dean. And I almost lost Cas too." he adds sadly, sniffling. 

Dean squeezes his hand reassuringly. "You can't get rid of either of us that easily." he chuckles. The ambulance speeds away, the sirens heard inside. 

The ride to the hospital was uncomfortably silent, just the beeping of Sam and Dean's heart monitor to occupy the tiny space. The man in the back had removed the glass from Sam's head and gently wrapped his wound to staunch the bleeding.

They were wheeled in the back through the emergency doors and straight to the operating room. 

Sam and Dean were separated once they got inside. Dean was worried about Cas and desperately needed to see his angel to soothe his nerves. He was wheeled past another gurney, but didn't notice.

A hand lay limp, hanging down from under the white blanket. It wore a trench coat.  
\---  
It took nearly five hours to Sam and Dean stable and in casts and with their wounds wrapped. Neither one of them had seen a sign of Castiel the entire time.

"Sammy? I miss Cas. I need to see him." Dean tells his brother quietly. Sam didn't respond and as he looks over, he sees his brother is asleep.

Tears blur his vision, and he sniffles. He didn't want to cry, but how couldn't he. 

He sobs violently, slightly surprised he didn't wake his brother. His shoulders shook, and he raises his good arm to hide his reddening face. When he finally runs out of tears, it is nearly 4:00 in the afternoon. 

The doctor suddenly opens the door, startling Sam into reality. Dean wipes his eyes and clears his throat. 

"Well, boys. That wreck was something else, I must say. But you will both make a full recovery, which I am happy to report." he sets his clipboard down, and moves to check their IV fluid bags. 

"What about the guy that came in with us?" Sam asks, mostly for Dean's sake. 

"I'm afraid I'm not sure who you're referring to." the doctor replies as he takes a step back to look at Sam.

"He was wearing a tan trench coat. And had black hair, bright blue eyes. And a blue tie." Dean pipes up, voice cracking with emotion. 

The doctor stiffens and Dean sits up, looking forlorn. "Doc, please..." 

"I'm afraid your friend didn't make it. I'm so sorry." Dean's eyes are like two oceans as tears pour freely and hurriedly down his cheeks. 

"Friend? Cas was more than a fucking friend! He was my fucking life! If you assholes had gotten there sooner he'd been ok!" Dean screams, heartbreak and rage making his voice crack.

"Sir, I'm terribly sorry. There was nothing we could do for him. He'd lost too much blood, and his blood type was extremely rare."

"Bull-fucking-shit! You didn't even fucking try, did you!? Look me in the eyes and tell me you at least fucking tried to fucking fix this shit...please..." Dean's voice drops an octave and his voice wobbles as he sobs uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We don't have his blood type here. There was nothing I could've done." The doctor's eyes were watering now too, though he tries to stay professional.

"No...Cas! Fucking hell! My baby...he's gone, my baby... No, God, please." Dean's throws his head into his hands and sobs. His cries echo in the small room, and the doctor shoots Sam an apologetic look before leaving.

Dean's breath is raspy and his eyes are raw from rubbing at them. He tries for the seventh time to dry his eyes, but the tears keep coming. Castiel was gone. And it was all his fault. He'd killed his baby, and he didn't even get to say goodbye. 

Sam wasn't able to get a word in. Whenever he tried to reassure his brother, Dean just yells at him to, "shut your fucking mouth!" which he did. Silence was what Dean needed right now. They'd been at the hospital for what seemed like forever, but was really only a week.  
\----  
"Sammy?" Dean asks softly, his voice filling with unwanted grief and frustration. 

"Yeah, Dean?" Sam prompts him gently. He looks over at his brother who stares up at the ceiling with dull eyes. His entire being seemed to be darker.

"I can't believe he's gone. I didn't....get to s-say goodbye. I kil- my baby is gone b-because of me." Dean says, stumbling choppily over his words. 

"Dean, stop. You didn't do this." Sam says for the fifth time in just that day. Dean's brow furrows, and his lips scrunch up as he bites his lip.

"It was my fa-fault. I should've listened to you, Sammy. You knew I c-couldn't drive. But I did anyway." his brother's voice is eerily calm now. It makes Sam tense at the coming storm. 

Dean's casts would be off tomorrow. And then he could move around in the room. The room filled with many things to throw and destroy. 

Dean sniffles and covers his eyes with his arm. 

He falls asleep like that. Quiet and still and unmoving. Sam sighs softly, glad his brother could sleep. He knew what Dean meant. He believed because he had just been healed he was safe to drive. 

But it wasn't his fault they had wrecked. If anything it was Sam's for not enforcing that Dean not drive. But he hadn't. He'd let it go too easily. And now Cas was gone. 

He falls asleep an hour after Dean. It was only 7:00, but the rest was well deserved and needed.

He dreams were unsual that night. Filled with images of a certain sunny eyed archangel they hadn't seen in years.  
\----  
When Sam wakes, Dean is already up and walking around. His cast was off. Sam sits up and eyes Dean carefully, gauging his emotions.

"Howd you sleep, Dean?" he finally asks, betraying nothing. 

"Fine." Dean's voice is hard and sharp. Sam doesn't say anything else. Eventually the doctor comes in and wheels Sam away. They pass a room that Sam looks into and sees a familiar face.

He sits up to get a better look, but Gabriel is gone. Why was he suddenly seeing the archangel everywhere? Was this whole wreck a trick he was playing on them?

Sam lets the nurses push him back into a laying position. 

The bandages would be changed today. And the cast on his wrist would be sawed off as well. 

Dean paces in the room. He looks out the window, shaking his head sadly and holding back more tears.

"You killed me Dean." Cas's voice is suddenly echoing around the room, barely above a whisper. Dean whirls around to see the angel's silhouette outlined against the bathroom door opening.

"No, Cas." Dean takes a step forward and sniffles.

"You're the reason I'm dead. You killed me. You knew you weren't ok to drive, but you did anyway. And no look at me." Cas's voice was hard, making Dean begin to cry again.

Cas takes a step forward into the light. His face is covered in blood, and his hand falls at an unnatural angle. His jaw was slightly open and crooked.

"You did this to me." Cas shouts, rough voice dark and unyielding. Dean runs to him and collapses in front of him as he disappears. 

"No. Castiel please come back to me baby. I need you." Dean cries in the middle of the floor, sobs flowing through the cracks in the door. 

A nurse comes in to help him and as she touches him he yells, scrambling away. Her eyes turn black and she smirks.

"Looks like I've fulfilled my promise (Sir, please calm down.)" The nurse tries to help him up but he stands up himself and lunges at her.

"You black-eyed son of a bitch!" Dean exclaims as she falls to the floor under him. She lets out a scream, and he throws a punch at her.

"Have fun in hell! (Help! I need help!)" 

"Give my baby back to me!" Dean's scream echoes through the hallway as two burly men come to help the defenseless nurse. They drag him away from her, but he manages to get one of his fists out of their grasp.

He punches one, sending him to the ground without another word. He lunges toward the other one and attacks him as well. 

"Castiel died for you, you know? (I need backup! We've got a problem!)" The guard shouts as he tussles with Dean. 

Dean throws him to the ground and races out of the room. Two more men appear to help, one holding a syringe.

"Stay away from me you fucking demons! I'll drop like I did your little friends!" he tells them raising his fists hurriedly.

The two men manage to get Dean on the ground and inject him with the sedative. His vision blurs as he struggles under their grip.

"See you on the other side. (Get him back to his room and strap him down.)" 

They carry Dean back to his room, helping the nurse up afterwards. The other two bodyguards hoist themselves up and help tie Dean down while he's out.

Blue eyes and huge, midnight black wings. Streaked with gold and silver and tipped with sharp blue. They were magnificent. Dean smiles in his sleep, remembering his angel.

Sam steadies himself against one of the nurses as he walks. He hears the commotion and strides ahead, his long legs bringing him to his and Dean's room quickly.

"Hey, what the hell?" he asks in disbelief as the two men leave. He nurse looks at him sadly and sighs.

"Your brother is very volatile. The men had to sedate him because he attacked me." she explains softly, shaking her head.

"What?" Sam looks at Dean as he sleeps. A smile plays on his lips and Sam silently wonders what he's dreaming about. "Christo." he mumbles under his breath, but the nurse has no reaction.

Sam goes into the room and closes the door behind him. There was a small streak of something wet on the floor. He kneels by it and sees they are tears. Dean was probably crying here.

Was he hallucinating about Castiel when the nurse came in? Sam sighs and sits on his bed, looking over at his brother. Dean looks peaceful, more so than he'd been in a while.

It was nice to see him smile. Suddenly Sam remembers something and he stands up to leave the room. He wanders down the hallway quickly, stopping at room E108, the one he'd seen Gabriel in.

There wasn't a name in the door slot so he opens the door and walks in. There was nothing there. The blinds were closed now, and no light was on. It didn't look like anyone had been here in ages. 

"Gabriel?" Sam whispers, his greenish-blue eyes scanning the room. He visibly droops when he realizes the archangel isn't here. And there was no sign to suggest anyone had been earlier either.

He leaves the room and just as he is about to open the door, and hand on his shoulder pulls him quickly past the bed curtains.

He whirls around to see a short man there. His golden brown hair was longer than he'd remember. His bright, sunny eyes were clear, and he wore a wide smirk on his face.

"Gigantor! How goes it, bro?" Gabriel grins and Sam smiles back, looking down at the archangel.

"Gabe, you really are here." Sam finally says after shaking his head. Gabriel shrugs and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Don't you know it. Honestly, it's boring up in heaven. And I heard about the wreck so I had to make sure you were ok." he tells Sam, snapping his fingers. A sucker appears in his hand and he quickly unwraps it and sucks in it.

"And Dean and Castiel too." he adds with a playful sparkle in his eyes. 

"About Cas. He's-" Gabriel cuts him off with a shake of his head. 

"Cassie's not dead, dude. You seriously believed that idiot doctor? Angels don't die in car crashes Sasquatch." he says in disbelief, voice slightly muffled by the sucker in his mouth. As he scoffs, he removes the sucker and holds it out to Sam.

"Want a bite?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows and smirking. Sam shakes his head and grimaces slightly, raising his hands. 

"So Cas is fine?" Sam questions for clarification. Gabriel rolls his eyes and nods.

"Why are you on about Cas? Last time I checked he's still Dean's." he tells the hunter, looking up at him. His hair had gotten longer, and his wounds were healing well.

"Yeah, that's the problem. Dean's distraught. When I saw you I had to make sure it was real." Sam says.

"Wait you saw me when you were wheeling by? That's strange." Gabriel informs him as he furrows his brow, looking confused a moment.

"Strange why?" Sam asks him, raising an eyebrow. The archangel smirks and chuckles.

"I was cloaked. Only my soul mate is supposed to see me when I'm cloaked. Did you see me in that ambulance guy?" Gabriel was so blunt with his answer it leaves Sam at a loss for words.

"Well did you?" he prompts, waving his hand in front of Sam's face rapidly.

"Yeah. Yeah I did. And when I was dreaming too." Sam admits honestly, blushing slightly.

"Oh, you were dreaming about me, huh? That's hot." Gabriel chuckles as Sam rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

"So what does this mean?" Sam ask the archangel. Gabriel thinks about his answer for a moment before snapping his fingers. Of course in Sam's eyes nothing happened.

"Can you see me?" he asks the hunter softly, looking slightly afraid of the answer. Sam nods and meets his eyes.

"It's not like you went anywhere." he tells him sarcastically. As if realizing something his cheeks redden and he blinks. "Fucking hell." he exclaims softly.

"Cloaked. Sammy...can you see my wings?" Gabriel asks, voice growing serious. Sam gulps softly and takes a step back, not answering his question. He stumbles over his own feet, seeming to shrink. He looks tiny now.

"Yeah. They're...wow." Sam's mind races with thoughts. Gabriel can hear every single one. Especially the one that tells him Sam's always been able to see his wings.

"If you can see them what do they look like?" Sam studies the archangel for moment, looking slightly annoyed. Gabriel crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow.

"They're really bright...and gold. And they have little freckle like white and brown spots. And there's a black stripe running through the middle of both of them." Sam explains and Gabriel nearly chokes on the sucker. 

"Well, hell. That's exact." he says softly, voice breaking with emotion. All this time Sam had been his soul mate. The one destined for him and he'd never even noticed him.

"No. It's not. I'm not your soul mate, or whatever. Castiel told me about that. I can't hear your thoughts. Stop messing with me, Gabe. You need to leave, now." Sam says quickly, moving to the door. 

As he turns back, Gabriel's wings droop sorrowfully on the floor. The light above his head, that Sam assumes is a halo, seems to glow less brightly. 

"Yeah. You're right, I'm just messing with you. You know me, the Trickster. I'll leave you to it then. Cas is in the west end of the building. Same room number as yours." he tries to lighten his voice back to normal.

Sam can tell what he'd said had really gotten to the archangel. Gabriel disappears with a rustle of his wings and Sam leaves the room, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

His hands shook and he realizes his heart was beating faster than before. He takes a deep breath to calm himself before starting the walk back to the room he shares with his brother.


	7. Unwelcome Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I would just like to note there won't be any Sabriel in this book of the series. Mostly because I want to focus on Dean and Cas's relationship. In the second book there will be Sabriel, so never fear!)

Sam reaches the room panting softly. He was sweating after his encounter with the archangel, Gabriel. Why did the angel always make him so jumpy?

Dean is sitting in the bed, his restraints off. "Dean, you ok?" Sam asks cautiously, looking at his brother with worry.

"I just want my baby back, Sammy. Why is that so much to ask?" Dean wonders out loud, voice cracking. Sam sits beside his brother, and sets a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Dean, come with me. I need to show you something." he says suddenly, forcing Dean to stand up and walk with him. He glances at their room number, E112, before walking down the hallway.

He honestly had no idea how to get to the west wing of the building like Gabriel had said, but hopefully there'd be a sign soon.

They were walking down a long hallway when the archangel appears beside Sam. "Gigantor, allow me to guide you. I'm cloaked by the way, Deano can't see me." he informs the hunter, grinning happily.

Sam ignores him and walks faster, causing a groan of protest to escape Dean's mouth. "Quit bitching and follow me. Trust me, it's worth it." Sam stops and waits for his brother who is unknowingly walking right beside Gabe.

"This way, Sammy." Gabriel announces as they reach a fork in the hall. Sam takes one look down the other hall and let's out a huge sigh of rebellion as he heads the other way.

"Hey! Woah man. Not taking my advice? You'll get lost you know?" Gabriel says, appearing in front of Sam and making him nearly skid to a halt. 

"I told you to go away, Gabe. Why are you still here?" Sam asks softly, glancing back at Dean who was staring at him. The archangel shrugs and crosses his arms, a determined frown etched on his features.

"What can I say, I have a soft spot for you boys." he finally replies, flying over to where Dean stood and beckoning Sam over.

The younger Winchester glowers before following Gabriel quickly down the hallway. His long legs bring him easily ahead of the much shorter man as he grabs Dean's wrist and drags him behind.

"Sam where are we even going?" Dean questions moodily as he rubs at his eyes. Sam rounds a corner and hurriedly dodges out of a doctors way. 

"What it, Sasquatch." Gabriel teases as he appears on the wall ahead of them. He motions to the left and Sam turns that direction, moving faster to escape the archangel.

"Sam, slow down! My legs aren't made for walking as fast as you." Dean complains as he tries to keep up. "Especially not since they were just broken not too long ago." he adds, griping as Sam stops at a dead end. 

"You lied!" he exclaims as he whirls around to face Gabriel. He blinks in surprise and shakes his head. 

"What, no! It was here. There's supposed to be a flight of stairs that lead us to Cas's room." he frantically tells Sam, opening random doors.

"Lied about what?" Dean questions as he finally reaches his brother. He pants softly and frowns. "Sam? Where were we going?" 

"No where. It's not important anymore." he answers as he starts back the way he came. Gabriel appears beside him, floating off the ground in flight to keep up with him. 

"Yeah, I figured it out. That left back there was supposed to be a right." Gabriel tells him. Sam sighs heavily, but when they reach the place they had taken a wrong turn he keeps going straight.

"Sammy, tell me right now where we're going or I'm leaving and heading back to the room." Dean finally exclaims, stopping in his tracks. Sam turns around and looks at him, biting his lip slightly.

"Tell him you're trying to find the doctor who operated on you." Gabriel pipes up, nudging Sam's side. 

Sam repeats what Gabe had told him and Dean rolls his eyes but keeps following. They reach the corner and at the end of the hall is a door leading to the flight of stairs Gabriel had mentioned.

Dean grimaces as he bends his knee to walk up the stairs, keeping his hand firmly on the railing. Sam scales the flight up to the second floor quickly and waist for his brother before continuing. 

"Yoo-who! Sammy down here. This is Cas's room." Gabriel shouts as he points to a door. Sam looks at the room number and sighs in relief. W212, almost the same room number as there's. 

"Here, Dean. We're here." Sam says as he opens the door. He walks in and let's Dean in front. His older brother looks around in confusion before his eyes settle to the figure on the bed.

They were hooked up to a heart monitor, which was beeping steadily. An IV bag was attached to their arm, and a tube was running from their mouth to an oxygen machine to help breath. 

Black puffy hair is silhouetted against the dim lights and as Dean moves over, he sees the familiar face of his angel.

"Cas? You...you're alive. My baby...you're ok." Dean's voice catches in his throat as small sobs escape his mouth. He takes Cas's hand in his own and squeezes it gently, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"Coma. The doctors aren't sure how long it'll be before he wakes up, but he's alive." Gabriel tells Sam softly, taking a step closer to the taller hunter. Sam looks down at the archangel and smiles, showing off his dimples.

"Thank you, Gabriel. You don't know how much it means to him." Sam whispers quietly. Gabriel grins and watches as Dean sits down on the chair and just holds Cas's hand. He was speaking, but neither of them could hear what he was saying.

"No problemo, Sammy. It's the least I can do to help. I can't heal him though, I've never had that ability unfortunately. Cas shouldn't be like this, Sam. In a coma I mean. He's not an angel anymore, I don't think." Gabriel informs the hunter, shaking his head sadly.

Sam doesn't answer. Cas wasn't an angel anymore? It did explain him not flying around everywhere anymore. He always wanted to drive places instead. It also explained why he was lying here in a hospital bed in a coma.

The monitor's beeping grew unsteady for a moment before even in out. "What was that?" Sam asks to himself. 

"He's fine. Just a slight disruption in his heart. He'll make it through, Gigantor. No reason to worry." Gabe reassures him easily, waving off his concern. 

Dean was standing now, looking towards Gabriel. Sam was about to explain when he frowns and turns to the door. "You two can't be in here right now, you have a visitor." The nurse explains. 

Sam and Dean exchange a glance before following her back to their room. Gabriel appears inside moments after Sam and Dean arrive and sits on the bed, sucking on another lollipop. He wiggles his eyebrows at Sam who is watching him. 

The hunter rolls his eyes and watches as Dean starts pacing. "Here they are, sir." The nurse leads a man in, and the two brothers walk closer to each other for protection. The nurse closes the door and leaves.

"Hello boys." a thick English accent comes with the words and Dean nearly growls.

"What do you want, Crowley?" he questions sharply, keeping his stance even.

"Shut it, squirrel. And really, Gabriel? You think you can hide from me by cloaking yourself?" Crowley snaps and Gabriel is revealed. 

He smirkes and chuckles slightly. "Crowley! Long time, never seen, boyo. How're things down below going?" the archangel asks, raising his eyebrows expectantly. 

"I'm not here to talk to you either. Moose, I need your help. And squirrel's too." he tells them, looking up at the two hunters.

"Why should we help you?" Sam finally speaks up, glaring at the demon. Crowley lowers his head and tilts it slightly, smirking as he sighs softly.

"It's about the Knight of Hell, Abaddon. I found out some information, and I need both of you to help me kill her." he says, making them exchange glances.

Gabriel appears beside Sam, arms crossing in defiance. "What makes you think they'll trust you? Why'd you come to these two losers anyway?" he asks, raising one eyebrow. Crowley turns to face the archangel and grimaces.

"All right you little toothpick, listen well. One more snarky comment out of you and I'll-" 

"You'll what? Go crying back to mommy? You can't do anything to me. I'm an archangel, and you're nothing but lowlife demon scum. So you have red eyes, that doesn't change a thing. You're still powerless compared to me." Gabriel answers, grinning happily at his comeback.

"Oh, it's not what I'm going to do to you. It's what I'll do to your brother, Castiel. That piece of shit blackmailed me for the last time. I'm not powerless compared to him anymore." Crowley retorts, taking a step closer to the archangel.

Dean punches him before he can move and sends him sprawling the the floor. "If you lay a hand on Castiel I will carve you into tiny pieces myself!" he yells, seething as Sam grabs his wrist and drags him back.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot about you two being a thing now. How about we strike a deal? I don't lay a demonic hand on Cas, and you help me out with the whole Knight of Hell thing." Crowley grins and laces his fingers together, dropping them down to his stomach.

Gabriel grabs Sam's shoulder and pulls him down. "I can get people to watch Castiel. Whatever you do, don't agree." he warns, but Sam shakes his head as he glances at Dean. The older Winchester had millions of thoughts whizzing through his mind as he nods at Sam and turns back to Crowley.

"Fine, whatever. Deal." Dean says, crossing his arms. Gabriel frowns and glares at Sam who shoots him an apologetic smile. 

"Wonderful. When you two get out of this godforsaken place, come find me." Crowley says as he starts to walk to the door.

"Watch the daddy stuff, Crackley." Gabriel remarks. Crowley shoots him a glare, showing off his red eyes before snapping his fingers and disappearing.

Sam and Dean start cracking up at Gabriel's nickname for the King of Hell. "Ooh, so scary." Gabriel waves his hands beside his head and crosses his eyes, making the boys laugh louder. 

"Babe, stop I can't breath!" Sam exclaims as he clutches his sides. Gabriel looks at him in confusion and then Sam stops suddenly, blushing as Dean cackles.

"You just called him babe!" he howls as he sits on the ground, joyful tears running down his face. 

"Gabe! I meant to say Gabe, ok!?" Sam denies as his cheeks grow hotter. His ears were even red as he shoves his head in his hands and starts laughing again.

"I don't know I kind of like babe better." Gabriel jokes, smirking up at Sam. The hunter groans and lays back on the bed, shaking his head as he smiles.

"Yeah, I'm sure you would. Gabrielle." Sam teases, flicking Gabriel's long, golden brown hair. Gabriel smackes his hand away and frowns.

"Samantha." Gabriel shoots back, watching as Sam runs a hand through his long hair at the name.

"Gabby." Sam retorts, and Dean shakes his head at the two, wiping his tears off.

"You two fight like an old married couple." he pipes in, glancing between them as it suddenly grows awkward. Sam clears his throat, thinking about the conversation he had with Gabriel earlier. 

Sam looks up to see Gabriel's wings shivering as if they were cold. But Sam knew it wasn't from the cold, he knew it was from what Sam had told him. 

"What did I say?" Dean asks, picking up on the mood. Gabriel stands up and clears his throat, shaking his head.

"How've you been, Deano?" he asks, changing the subject.

Dean stands up from the floor and sighs. "Much better now that I know Cas is alive. I'm going to go see him." he tells them as he turns to leave. "You two sort this out before I come back." he adds as he slips out the door and walks down the hallway.

"Well, this is awkward. Am I right?" Gabriel claps his hands together and a canned laugh track echoes through the room. Sam can't hold back a laugh at the archangel's crazy ways.

"Not until you did that." Sam tells him, rolling his eyes as Gabriel sits on Dean's bed.  
\----  
Dean walks down the hallways, looking tired as he passes the nurses. Some of them give him sideways looks, as if he'll pounce on them like he did earlier. As he reaches the flight of stairs, a hand on his shoulder startles him.

He whirls around to see Kevin standing there, grinning like an idiot. "Kevin?" Dean asks as he reaches behind him to grab a silver knife from the shelf beside him. 

Kevin chuckles and takes the knife from him, holding it in his hands easily. "Not a shifter. Or a demon. I came to visit you guys. The hospital called me, and of course I had to come see you both. And here I am. I just saw you come this way so I followed you." Kevin tells him, smiling.

"I'm going to see Cas right now. You're welcome to come, I guess. Or Sam's in our room down that way. E112." Dean tells him, taking the knife from him and setting it down. 

Kevin thinks for a second before turning away. "I'll leave you to Cas. I heard about it, I'm really sorry." he says sympathetically. Dean nods once and Kevin walks off down the hall toward his and Sam's room. 

"Shit! I forgot about Gabriel!" Dean suddenly exclaims as he starts to follow the prophet. He shakes his head and opens the door for the stairs, needing to see Cas again and make sure he's ok.  
\----  
Kevin walks down the hallway which was suddenly eerily quiet. He looks around, but no one is seen anywhere.

He turns around and stops by the desk at the end of the hall. He stumbles into it, fumbling to grab the scissors on the counter. 

He staggers as the ground shakes, and gulps softly. Kevin's eyes go wide as a bright light appears from the door beside the desk. E112, wasn't that Sam and Dean's room? 

Kevin shrieks as a man appears in front of him, an arm thrown across him for protection. The man had shoulder length golden brown hair, and when he turned to look at Kevin, his eyes were like two Suns inside his skull.

They were a rich, creamy, caramel brown that had huge flecks of gold and were rimmed with a dark brown. It was almost as if he was an angel.

"Are you an archangel?" Kevin asks him. He remembers reading on the tablet that archangels were made to protect prophets. 

"Well spotted kid." he raises his thumbs and glances at the nearby door as Sam comes out of it, holding an angel blade.

"Gabriel!" Sam yells and tosses him the blade. The archangel easily catches it and stands tall, his entire being lighting up. Shadows of his huge, golden wings drap across Kevin and the walls behind him. A beam of light encircles his head like a halo and his golden brown eyes glow inhumanely.

"Kevin?" Sam looks at the prophet in confusion as the ground rumbles again. 

"Come no further!" Gabriel suddenly shouts, making Kevin flinch. The angel's voice was commanding, and now deep.

Sam looks at Gabriel in shock, surprised the archangel was so serious. A high pitched ring echoes around the hospital, and only Gabriel doesn't cower away.

"You shall not harm this man, Prophet of the Lord!" the archangel is still glowing brightly, and he ringing instensifies. Gabriel flips the angel blade in his hand and growls.

"Fly away. Or I will make you, sister." Gabriel's voice grows dark and deathly quiet. Just as the ringing disappears, the ceiling is broken away, and a figure arrives.

It stands straighter and then chuckles. "Oh, Gabriel. It's funny really, you think that you can fight me off." it says as it brushes the dust off.

"I don't intend to fight." Gabriel says intimidatingly. "In fact, Asariel, it shouldn't have to come to a fight." he adds as he blinks his eyes and sends her flying toward the wall.

She cries out as she hits wall, falling to the floor. She looks up at him and glares at him, teeth bared.

"Gabriel, just give me the prophet and we won't have to do this." she warns, standing up. He yawns, which makes her even angrier as she charges him.

He easily dodges and with a small shove, causes her to flop onto the ground ungracefully. "Please, whenever you're ready we can start." he says as he teleports away. As he appears on the other side, she tries to trip him, but he teleports again. 

When he reappears. There are two of him, each with a large mischeivous smile on their identical faces. 

They both snap and then a second Kevin and Sam appear, inspecting the two. Sam blinks in surprise and then realizes what Gabriel was doing. He grabs one of the Kevin's and runs, while the second Sam does the same.

"Seriously, sis, stop embarassing yourself. You just got Loki'd!" he exclaims as she stands and looks between the two Gabriel's.

She lunges for one and he vanishes, leaving her seething. As she turns back to the real Gabriel, there are two more beside him. 

"Enough games, brother! Face me without your trick!" she screams. Gabriel sighs and sends the identicals away.

"The prophets already gotten away. What more do you want?" he asks. 

Sam hides behind the corner, seeing as the Kevin he had was fake. He listens to their conversation wordlessly.

"Of course. That's why you're glowing so much brighter." Asariel suddenly exclaims. Sam watches Gabriel as he stiffens and is knuckles go white. 

"You've found your soul mate. They are here in this hospital aren't they?" she wonders, grinning wickedly. "It's the young Winchester isn't it? Castiel claimed the short one and now you are claiming the other." she says, voice filling with malice. 

Sam gulps and shakes off his nerves. He run out to the car and gotten the angel blade from the trunk. 

Gabriel blinks rapidly, his eyes wide. "No. It's not him, I haven't found my soul mate yet." he lies, trying to return to his funloving self.

Asariel giggles and advances, knowing she's found a weak spot. "I could kill him, Gabriel." she remarks. 

Sam grips the angel blade and gulps softly as he reveals himself and walks up to her. Gabriel notices and covers up Sam's advances with a cough. "Too bad you can't." he says. 

Just as Sam is about to bring the blade down she whirls around and stabs him with the hidden knife in her pocket. He freezes and backs away, dropping the angel blade with a metallic thud and clutching his stomach. Tears spring to Gabriel's eyes as his heart shatters.

"Sam, no!" Gabriel screams and quickly rams his knife through Asariel's back before rushing to his side. Dean had finally arrived with Castiel in tow, and Kevin was back with the Sam projection.

"Sam!" Dean shouts and kneels by his brother as blood trickles out of his mouth. Dean claps his hand gently on Sam's cheek, making his eyes flutter.

"It's ok. I'm not-" he is cut off as he disappears and the pocket knife falls to the ground. Gabriel gasps in disbelief and turns to look at the other Sam. 

"You're ok. That was the projection." he mumbles, hurriedly wiping his tears away. Sam nods and Gabriel teleports over quickly, hugging the hunter harshly. 

"Sorry for the scare." Sam chuckles and he returns the hug and then glances at Dean as the archangel moves away. Castiel leans against Dean for support, and the hunter has his arm wrapped around Cas's waist. 

"Cas woke up at the ringing. I could barely get him down the stairs, but we managed." Dean tells them, and Kevin sighs in relief.

He looks around and frowns. The roof was in shambles where the angel had burst in. The wall had an indention where Gabriel had thrown her against it. Not to mention the dead body in the middle of the ground.

"I'll take care of this." Gabriel walks over to Asariel and presses his fingers to her head. The angel disappears and with a snap of his fingers, everything returns to normal.

Castiel groans as Dean helps him steady himself and coughs, a small splatter of blood appearing on his nightgown.

"Can you fix him?" Dean questions the archangel. Gabriel only shakes his head and sighs.

"Never have been able to heal. Sorry." Dean looks at Sam and then back at Cas. 

"Can you carry him? We gotta get out of here before anyone- or thing- finds us here. Let's go." Dean tells his brother. Sam lifts Cas into his arms and follows Dean out the door. Gabriel is close behind with Kevin on his heels. 

"Was that angel trying to kill me!?" Kevin asks Gabriel as he catches up. 

"Well, duh. Why do you think I stopped her. Every prophet has an archangel to watch over them. Well did. Michelle and Luci are in the cage, and Ralph's dead. So you're stuck with me." Gabriel answers with a grin.

Sam rolls his eyes at the nicknames he'd given the archangels and follows Dean to a 1967 Mustang Fastback convertible and places Cas inside one he'd jimmied the lock.

"Really, Deano?" Gabriel snorts as he eyes the car.

"Can it, short stack. We need speed." Dean growls, making Gabriel feign hurt at the nickname. 

"Move it princess, we're burning daylight." the archangel says to Sam, causing him to glower at the shorter man. 

He raises his hands and gets in the back, smirking as he does. He sits in the middle between Cas and Kevin who looks like he suddenly remembers something. 

"Guys, we could've taken my car." he finally tells them. A collective groan echoes through the car as Dean starts messing with the wiring. 

"Could've used that information about five minutes ago, numbskull." he groans out as the engine starts. Castiel leans into Gabriel who helps him buckle the seatbelt. 

Dean drives off, heading toward the bunker. "Holy fucking shit." Sam exclaims in awe as he looks up to see three streaks falling from the sky. 

Gabriel follows his gaze and claps a hand over his mouth. "Shit!" he yells, looking panicked. 

"Those are angels!" Castiel says, finally speaking. Dean watches and then shakes his head as he drives. 

"Gabe, what does that mean?" he asks. Gabriel gulps softly and watches as they change direction, and start heading to the hospital. 

"They're looking for us." he manages to choke out as Dean speeds up, barreling down the road with a frantic look on his face.


	8. Red Smoke

As they drive down the road, Castiel suddenly gasps, his breath ragged and raspy. It was a sickly sound and it made Dean look through the rearview mirror at him. 

"You ok, Cas?" he and Gabriel ask at the same time. Castiel nods and coughs, his chest contracting. He coughs up some blood that he wipes on his pale, green hospital gown.

"Is that healthy?" he asks with a grimace. Dean pulls over and stops the car, getting out quickly and opening Cas's door. 

"Come here. Let me look at you." He gently pulls Cas over and helps him out of the car. They go to the back and Cas sits on the trunk of the Mustang, looking down. "Baby, please look at me." he pleads softly, lifting Cas's chin.

"You can't see them can you?" the angel asks, eyes watering with unshed tears. Dean knows exactly what he was talking about. His gloriously midnight blue wings streaked with flecks of gold and silver and tipped with blue had disappeared. 

"Cas, don-"

"Can you? They're gone aren't they?" he growls furiously, glaring at Dean's perfectly sculpted face. He doesn't answer his blue-eyed angel. How could he, when Cas was so obviously raging about it? 

They stay like that for a while, green meeting blue in a clash of softness and hardness. Neither of them speak.

"No, baby. I can't." he finally admits, shifting his eyes down to the ground. He can hear Castiel sniffling softly, trying to hide his tears that were now spilling. 

Cas's hands come down to cup Dean's face, and he presses the hunter's forehead to his own, touching their noses together. "I'm sorry, Cas." Dean mumbles softly, looking into his former angel's eyes. 

He could feel Cas's breath on his mouth, hot and sweet. Dean moves his hands to brace himself against the trunk, one hand on either side of Cas's butt. They stare at each other awhile, and just as Dean is beginning to let his thoughts wonder, Castiel brings his lips to the hunter's. 

The kiss was gentle, but quickly turns rough and desperate. Hungry, passionate and needing. Tongues mingling, soft bites, and the push of Dean as he hopefully clings to the thought that Cas would be ok and everything would work out. 

Cas's arms wrapping around Dean's neck, pulling him closer. Heat courses through both of them, cheeks flushed and their teeth clacking together slightly at the want. 

They didn't part until someone was clearing their throat at the two. "Looking, huh?" Gabriel's voice is mocking as Cas almost reluctantly pulls away and turns to gaze at his brother. 

Dean's head sags slightly under the archangel's judging eyes. His shoulders hunch before he props himself up and stands straight, crossing his arms.

"Little less looking than I expected." Dean mutters under his breath, but he knows Gabriel heard him. 

"Gabriel? Have you...found your soul mate?" Castiel questions softly, curiosity in his voice. Gabriel's head shoots up and his body stands rigid as his eyes squeeze shut. He takes a huge, deep breath before shaking his head.

"Not exactly." he answers, the sarcasm in his voice dying. Sam finally climbs out and walks over, looking annoyed.

"What are we talking about?" he wonders as he stands by Gabriel, mimicking Dean's cross-armed stance. 

"Soul mates." Castiel replies easily, looking at his brother in amazement. The archangel had found his soul mate, but what did he mean by 'not exactly'? 

"Oh." Sam's response is all Cas needs to figure everything out. His eyes stretch wide and he starts laughing uncontrollably, tears beginning to form in his eyes again. 

"I find it hard to believe the most serious person I've ever met, is destined to spend the rest of his life with him!" Castiel exclaims, motioning to Gabriel with a wild smile.

"We're not soul mates!" Sam yells as he storms off, fists clenching and jaw tightening as he roughly opens the car door and shoves himself back inside. The slam of the door echoes across the empty highway. 

"Like I said. Not exactly." Gabriel repeats before teleporting back into the car with a short huff of disbelief.

"What!? My fucking brother is...WHAT!?" Dean's voice carries to the car, making Sam slam his fist into the glove box. 

"Chill!" Kevin exclaims as he jumps out of his skin, his eyes bugging out of his skull. 

Castiel gulps softly as he wipes away the tears he'd gained from laughing. "I wasn't aware Sam was Gabriel's soul mate, Dean. I'm sorry for them both. Sam doesn't seem to understand the importance of being with Gabriel." he says softly, casting his eyes to the ground.

"Oh, so it's Sam's fault he isn't ready for something so serious?" Dean snaps, glaring at Castiel. Cas crosses his arms and sighs.

"Dean, can we please not do this? I'd prefer to talk about this later." he tells the hunter, looking bewildered and a bit annoyed.

"No, Cas, you'd prefer not to talk about this at all. You'd prefer we never even think about this again!" Dean retorts angrily, his gaze hardening and voice rising with each word.

"Dean. Please I don't want this to get any worse. Sam needs to understand that Gabriel-"

"Don't bring Sam into this! You and I both know that's not what this argument is about!" the hunter's eyes were showing the whites, and Castiel groans softly.

"Dean, enough." Cas warns, trying to stay calm. "This isn't about anything except Sam and Gabriel, and you and I both know that. You're just angry because you didn't know and I found out first." he adds with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Don't you fucking dare put this shit on me! This isn't my fault! This isn't about that fucking archangel destined to be with my brother!" Dean retorts as his voice catches raggedly in his throat.

"Stop." Castiel tells him, not wanting to fight.

"And another thing! You'd been awake that whole time I was in the room with you, and you didn't think to tell me!" Dean's eyes water slightly as he recalls the movement of his angel as he finally tells Dean he'd heard everything.

"Dean, don't." Cas coughs softly and shifts his weight in the trunk.

"You have no idea how worried I was about you. And you didn't care at all, did you?! YOU DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH TO-"

"ENOUGH!" Cas's voice booms, interrupting Dean mid sentence. Dean had never heard him be so commanding or brisk. Dean backs away slightly, afraid of Cas's spiteful tone.

"You selfish, ignorant prick!" Cas shouts, getting to his feet and making Dean take another step back. 

"Cas-"

"I'm not done! You think everything in this world revolves around you. You think just because I didn't tell you I was awake means that I don't care!? Well, it doesn't. I didn't tell you I was awake because I care too much. I knew what would happen if you knew I was awake. You'd be over protective and I can't handle you coddling me all the time! I'm not a child, even if I don't completely understand everything about this world." Cas pauses and takes a deep breath to calm himself down, but Dean had royally pissed him off.

"Cas, I-"

"I'm not DONE!" he yells. Dean shuts his mouth and waits. "I understand your need to protect people, it's all you've known. But I can easily take care of myself, I have centuries before I met you! You are not the only thing in this world watching out for me! I have my brothers and sisters and Sam as well, not to mention Kevin." Castiel was finally calming down, but he wasn't done talking.

"I'm sick of you thinking that you're always the better person because you 'take care of' me. I don't need you to treat me like a child. I am NOT useless, I am NOT worthless, and I am NOT someone you can just push around!" Cas's eyes are tearing up now as he advances on Dean, getting in his face as he finishes his rant. 

His entire being softened as Dean grabs his wrist and pulls him into a loving kiss. He seems to melt into the hunter's, sturdy, supportive arms as he wraps his arms around the bulging muscles of his biceps.

It wasn't long until Kevin was yelling at them from the car to, "Hurry your asses up!" They gave each other another quick kiss before going back to the car. 

Castiel couldn't find the time to feel guilty for insulting Dean. The fight could've ended worse on many different levels, and he was just glad it didn't. Of course they were in the rather close proximity of their friends and family.

Perhaps things at the bunker would be worse. Then again, perhaps they'd be better. Intercourse sounded like music to Cas's ears as he thought about the pull of Dean's abs as they moved together. He imagined the dip of his hunter's hips, and his perfectly sculpted ass and the way his dic-

"Do you forget even without the grace we are still connected!?" Gabriel's voice disrupts Cas's thoughts and the former angel blushes. "I don't want to know about that." he adds with a shiver and a slight disgusted grimace.

"Sorry, Gabriel." Cas manages to mutter through his major embarrassment. He'd forgotten, of course, that every angel could hear the thoughts of their brothers and sister. But only when they were listening in on the angel radio, as Dean called it. Archangels were the only ones that could always hear the thoughts, whether they wanted to or not. "I'll shield them next time." he continues with a sideways glance at his brother.

"Hopefully there won't be a next time." the archangel growls as he crosses his arms, elbowing Kevin in the process.

"Hey, watch the merch!" Kevin remarks as he covers his crotch with his hand. Gabriel rolls his eyes and snorts as he shakes his head.

"Will you all please just shut the fuck up!? Dean and I are trying to concentrate." Sam exclaims as he turns in his seat and glares at the three. 

Kevin raises his hands in surrender, Cas goes back to his thoughts (shielding them from his brother), and Gabriel rolls his eyes again. Sam could almost hear the sarcasm in the archangel's motion.

"Wait, I would like to know what Cas was thinking about." Dean pipes up, looking at Gabriel through the rearview mirror.

"Horny bastard." Gabriel jokes as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "He was thinking about you. And se-"

"Gabriel." Castiel cuts him off without even looking over at him. Just his voice was enough for Gabriel to close his mouth and shrug at Dean.

"Sorry, Deano. I'm forbidden to tell you. Cassie's orders." he says sassily as he smirks. Dean furrows his brow and sighs heavily. This would be a long four hours.  
\----  
The drive back to the bunker was long and after much bickering from everyone about every meaningless thing, they arrive home.

Gabriel teleports out of the car quickly and stretches. "I should be going. Don't want to be stuck with you dorks. See ya' later losers." he waves at all four of the men before disappearing. Dean notices the slight sag to Sam's shoulders as the archangel leaves, and his brother looks dead tired now.

"Come on, Sammy. Up for a nap?" Dean nudges him in the side and Sam chuckles, shoving him away. Kevin and Castiel clamber out of the car, Cas moving easier now. Kevin glances over at the former angel and frowns. He hadn't ever really liked the angel much.

"I could use some sleep." he agrees as he heads to the door. "Race you downstairs?" Unlocking the door with a loud clink he stands side by side with his brother. 

Dean steps inside and shakes his head. "Nah, I really should- Last one down cooks dinner tonight!" he takes off, and Sam shouts a string of protests as he tries to get around Dean on the stairs. Just before Dean reaches the end, Sam hops over the railing and lands rather ungracefully on the ground a split second before his brother.

"Ha! Looks like you're cooking!" Sam says happily, laughing as he dances away from Dean's attempt to catch and tackle him. 

"If you want burnt food, then by all means, let me in the kitchen!" Dean shouts back, a large easygoing smile on his face. 

Sam laughs loudly as he dodges around one of the bunker's chairs. "It wouldn't matter. I'd never eat anything you made." he teases good-naturedly as he stares back at Dean. 

They both lean on the table, bracing themselves and panting softly. Without warning Dean's leg buckles and he falls, hitting his chin on the table as he goes.

"Dean!" Sam exclaims as he races to his brother's side. Cas quickly bolts down the stairs, nearly falling a few times in his hurry, fear course through him.

"Fuck!" Dean cries out in pain as he clutches as his jaw with a hand. Blood wells in his mouth and trickles down the side of his face, moving in a line on his cheek. 

"Are you ok?" Castiel asks worriedly as he helps Dean sit up. The hunter rubs at his leg and shakes his head slowly, unable to speak.

Sam stands and hurried to grab a rag. "Shit, Cas. I'm fucking useless." Dean mumbles forlornly as he yanks his hand away from his knee.

"Dean, stop. You're not useless. You just broke your leg, you can't expect it to be better already. You must give it the proper amount of time to correctly heal." Castiel reassures him, moving to grab Dean's legs and hoist it into his lap.

Dean grimaces as Cas starts to gently massage the skin around his stitches. The doctors had had to cut open the hunter's leg to properly place the bone. That's what had taken Dean's operation the longest.

"It hurts like fucking hell, Cas." Dean groans as he winces away from Cas's touch. Castiel looks up into his eyes and blinks, his lashes damp.

"Hey, guys?" Kevin's voice is curt and full of fear. Sam hands Cas the rag before going to Kevin's side, looking out at the fields by the bunker.

"Shit." Sam takes a step back and drags Kevin inside, slamming the heavy, metallic bunker door shut with a deafening boom. He breaks into a sweat, cold and hot at the same time.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit!" Kevin watches Sam in disbelief as he rakes his hands through his hair frantically. The hunter looks distressed, his mouth upturned in a tight line. 

"Sam!" Cas yells the hunter's name to get him to focus. Sam snaps to attention and gulps softly.

"A red smoke cloud is headed this way." Sam tells everyone as he gulps agains. 

"Crowley?" Dean asks, his words muffled by the rag soaking up the blood pouring from his face. Sam nods and then looks at Kevin who is tensing at the mention of the demon's name.

"Kevin, you need to go back-" Dean is interrupted by the familiar English accent of the well known King of Hell.

"Hello boys." Too soon Crowley stands before them, smirking. "I saw you got out of the hospital in one piece. Probably only because of that archangel, of course. Very powerful creatures." Crowley tells them, chuckling evilly.

"Hey, look, hot rod. Why don't you just tell us why you're here." Dean spits as he wipes away the blood and stands unsteadily.

"Squirrel. Fancy seeing you all...useless, was it?" Dean falters slightly but quickly regains his composure.

"Oh save it for when I care about your opinion." he grumbles languidly, leaning against Cas for support. "Why are you here?" 

"I told you two to fine me when you got out of the place. Well instead I came to you. Yippee, and all that good stuff. Now, ready to make good on that deal?" Crowley raises his eyebrows and glances lazily between the two brothers.

"You made a deal with him? What the hell is wrong with you two!?" Kevin asks in shock, glaring at Sam, Dean, and even Castiel.

"It was the only way to protect Cas, ok!?" Dean shoots back, growing increasingly aggravated. Crowley snaps and then speaks.

"Quiet, all of you just shut up. Moose, you'll find I wired your computer with all the information you need to hunt down and kill Abaddon. And I'll keep my demons out of your way while you do." Crowley gazes at Sam and nods slightly, prompting him to look at his laptop.

Sam moves to the desk and opens the computer. After clicking a few things and making sure everything's in order, he stands up and nods back. "Ok, it's all there. Now leave." Dean says as he stumbles slightly. The only thing keeping him up was Cas's hand at his back.

"Oh, no. I didn't tell you? I'll be needing the prophet." he says as he teleports closer to Kevin, placing a slightly damp hand on Kevin's shoulder. He raises his other hand as they advance.

"If you disappe-"

"Relax. We'll only be gone a few minutes and then I'll bring him back." Crowley snaps and Kevin and the King of Hell are gone like that. Thousands of thoughts race through Sam's mind as he opens a few files and looks at the information Crowley sent them.

"There's something called the First Blade that can be used to kill a Knight of Hell." Sam informs his brother and Cas.

Castiel visibly tenses at the mention of the weapon. "No. You're not helping him, I deny you that." he says as he helps Dean sit down. 

"Bullshit, Cas! You're a human now, we need the extra protection! Plus we all just got out of the fucking hospital. This is the perfect opportunity to get ahead!" Dean exclaims quickly.

"No! I won't allow either of you to risk your life on something like this! You don't need to kill her, just stay out of her way!" Castiel shoots back, worry worming into his voice like an insistent gnat.

"Do you even realize how stupid you sound right now!?" Sam pipes up, glaring at the former angel. Castiel whips his head around the face the younger Winchester.

"Cas, you can't stop us from doing this, so just accept it!" Dean adds as he stands up. Cas turns to him again and clenches his fist.

"Neither of you understand the importance of the First Blade! You can't do this, please..." his voice dies and Sam sighs softly, but Dean doesn't back down.

"Then fucking make us understand, Cas! For Christ's sakes tell us what to do and we'll work it out!" Sam turns and leaves, unnoticed by either of them.

"I'm telling you not to trust that demon! The First Blade shouldn't be taken lightly! It holds power over everything and I won't let either of you die because you were too idiotic to see that I was right all along!" Castiel yells, his jaw set in determination.

"Dammit, Cas! This isn't something you can control! We're going to find it if it's the last thing we do!" Dean furiously replies, teeth bared in attack. 

"It will be the last thing you do!" Cas screams desperately, clinging onto the only thing he has left; faith. 

"Then so be it." Dean comments as he stands straighter. Cas glares at him with malice and suddenly Dean is knocked to the floor by the punch he never saw coming.

"You selfish...arrogant...ignorant, stupid, blind, impulsive, heartless, stone-cold asshole! Do you even think before you speak!? Do you want to die!? DO YOU WANT TO- to leave...me?" Cas's voice loses every ounce of fight as tears run down his face. 

The prospect that may want to leave him in this cruel world alone was too much. He couldn't hold in the inconsolable gloom shadowing his logical thinking. 

Dean looks up at him with grief in his eyes as Cas collapses on the floor. He becomes a sobbing, wretched mess in less than a second. Shoulders shaking, pressing the heel of his palm despondently into his eyes, weeping and whimpering in a hysterical frenzy of panic, woe, and outrage. Dean's heart broke at the sight of him, pitiful and needy.

Dean crawls over to his beautiful angel and folds him into his arms, clutching at his sides with silent sincerity and promise. It was deathly quiet now, except the occasional gasping breath as Cas sobs softly. 

It wasn't until he felt the brush of Cas's dark, almost black hair against his chin that he realizes Castiel was tucking himself into Dean's body, taking comfort in the touch. Cas's arms clinging desolately to the fabric of Dean's hospital gown. 

And he remembers. He'd told Cas he wasn't worthless, wasn't useless. He'd told Cas he'd be there for him. Always. And at the point Cas had punched him, the former angel realized Dean was going back on his promise. He'd knocked the sense into Dean, quite literally for that matter.

He'd thank Castiel for that later. For now, he'd enjoy being with him while he and him. When Cas finally stirs again, Dean had nearly fallen asleep. 

The former angel sniffles glumly and pulls away, meeting Dean's eyes with angst. "I'm sorry I punched you." he mumbles softly. 

Dean quickly shakes his head and runs his hand gently down Cas's cheek. "No. I'm sorry for being a dick. I didn't realize I was taking away that promise. You pulled me back, so thank you." he says softly. Cas smiles and then helps Dean to his feet. 

"Sam left." Cas suddenly tells him, motioning to the empty computer chair. 

"I figured." Dean replies sagely, sighing quietly. He takes Cas's hand in his own and brings it to his lips, kissing it sweetly. "Come on. I want to make this up to you." he adds with a suggestive grin. 

Cas takes his hand away and shakes his head, taking a step back. "Not yet. I have something need to do." And with that Cas is disappearing somewhere in the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of info in this chapter, but I hope you enjoy anyway.


	9. Blood Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love isn't blind, love is all knowing, all seeing."

Castiel didn't expect to ask Sam anything. Or that Sam would ask him things, especially about soul mates. But, as Cas sits on Sam's bed, he asks.

"Can you explain to me the whole soul mates thing?" Sam questions, not meeting Cas's intense gaze.

"What would you like to know about?" Castiel asks back, leaning slowly farther and farther back until he's laying down, looking up at the ceiling.

"Why is it so important to him? Why was he so sad when I denied the whole thing? Everything." Sam replies eagerly, needing to curb his interest in it.

"I'll start from the beginning." Cas tells him on a sigh. His chest heaves as he coughs, cupping his hand over his mouth. 

"When my father made the angels, he gave us certain qualities that would pair up with another. The two personalities would complement each other perfectly, like they were literally made for each other because they were." Cas pauses and thinks about his next words carefully.

"He separated the two so that they would have to work to find their true love. Few angels do. So for us to find our soul mates, is unusual. Especially in such close proximity to each other. The archangel's' soul mates were most important to find." he stops as Sam draws in a barely heard, raspy breath. 

"Why are they most important?" he asks quietly, and Cas hardly hears his voice over his own heart beat.

"An archangels' power is very....how would you say it? dependent. On the soul mate, of course. That's why he was so powerful against Asariel. Because he had found you. The archangels' would find their soul mate, but if they didn't make the...connection- you could say- they would be driven mad. It would make their power too much for them to handle. The soul mate would be able to make the power more focused and concentrated so they'd be able to better fight and protect." Cas sits up and looks at Sam. 

"Sam, you must understand that to an archangel, denial of the soul mate means the same thing as death to them. That is why Gabriel is so distraught whenever you deny it. It's important to him because his purpose in life is to protect and take care of his soul mate, which is you." the former angel stands up now, and turns to leave but Sam calls his name.

"What if I accepted it, but didn't want to make the...the connection?" he wonders hesitantly, looking slightly disgruntled. 

"Well. You'd need to tell Gabriel all of that. That you accept it, but you don't want to move forward in the relationship yet." Cas replies with a look of earnest sympathy for the hunter. "It was easy for Dean and I. Since I was always with you two, I mean." he adds softly, gazing at the ground.

"Ever." Sam says, making Cas look up in confusion. "Don't want to move forward with the relationship ever." he clears up. 

Cas shoots him a hurried look of distress that's gone as soon as it appears. "It's best not to tell him then. Sam, if you don't make the connection with him, he'll die. You need to grasp the concept that a soul mate is majorly important to any angel in general. Gabriel is no different." 

Sam grimaces and stands up, towering over Castiel. "He'll die?" he asks, concern filling his voice.

"Yes, Sam. He'll die. The connection is the most important part between the angel and his, or her, soul mate. After a while, the angel will lose their grace and then they will get sick. And eventually die." Cas tells him, an edge to his tone. 

"Wait. What exactly is the connection? I don't think we're talking about the same thing." Sam says as he crosses his arm. 

"Well, intercourse is the first step. Then a fall out of the two soul mates. Always following an especially hard trial in the humans life. Death, or loss. And then they come back to each other. The last step, is marriage." Cas answers, making Sam blush as he went on. 

"And if the soul mate doesn't complete the steps?" he questions in worry. Castiel sighs heavily and turns away.

"The death of the angel involved." he manages to choke out before leaving the room. Sam can vaguely hear Cas coughing, a hacking, wet, cough. 

One that someone only makes when they're sick.   
\----  
Castiel arrives back in Dean's room to find him asleep. To be fair, he'd been gone for a few hours and it had been a very long day. 

Perhaps Dean had stayed up as long as he could. Cas sighs softly before hanging the trench coat up with a melancholic gaze. He unties his bright blue tie, takes off his overcoat, and begins to unbutton the white dress shirt when strong arms wrap around the angel's waist.

"Cas." Dean's voice is gruff and groggy from sleep. Cas smiles and leans into the hunter's touch, taking a deep breath.

"They come back to each other." he murmurs and Dean doesn't hear him. The hunter pulls Cas to the bed, grinning as Cas turns in his arms and faces him. 

"I need to make this up to you." he mumbles drowsily as he tugs the angel closer, planting a kiss on his lips. "I'm topping." he adds with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a coy smirk on his lips.

The pull of Dean against him is gentle, and tender. Unlike every other time, this was a new sensation to Cas. He'd never experienced any of this as a human, only as an angel.

That's why he had always liked humans. Because they could experience everything with a full appreciation of the feelings in the action. Cas's body was already feeling tingly, and he kisses back with a fervor. 

It was unlike anything. The feeling of another human body pressing against him. The heat, the need, the desperate want to please each other.

Dean took his time slipping out of his shirt and helping Cas out of his own. He gingerly runs his hands over Cas's prominent hip bones, and eventually rests his hands on his hips. 

Castiel closes his eyes and shudder slightly. The touch of Dean's hands even felt different. Amazing, yes, but different. 

Cas scoots closer, kissing Dean passionately. It wasn't until the cold air hit him that he realizes Dean had slipped off his pants. 

Cas grabs the belt buckle on Dean's jeans and fumbles to unbuckle it, leaving Dean chuckling softly. "Here, Cas." he says softly as he reaches down and undoes it himself. 

Cas gives him a slightly disappointed look that he hadn't succeeded. Dean leans down and kisses him. As he rolls over, he pulls Castiel with him. 

The former angel was now on top, but Dean didn't mind. They weren't in a rush. And it was nice to finally slow down and appreciate the euphoria of it all.

Cas helps Dean out of his boxers before taking off his own. A small gasp escapes his mouth as Dean rotates his hips against Cas's, rubbing their cocks together.

"Dean..." Cas's voice falters and trails off as the hunter kisses him. His tongue exploring every inch of Cas's mouth. 

Dean stops suddenly and looks up at Cas, his green eyes bright and vibrant. "The drawer." he mumbles as Cas looks down at him in confusion. 

"What?" the angel tilts his head slightly, squinting his eyes. 

"Lube. In the drawer." Dean says again, motioning to the nightstand. Cas's eyes widen in surprise and he reaches over to the drawer. He opens it and grabs the bottle of lube, looking at it in slight trepidation.

Dean pushes him down, straddling him as he leans down to kiss him. Cas wraps his arms around Dean's neck, pulling him closer. 

The hunter lowers himself to Cas's body. Cas pulls away for a breath, looking up at Dean as he sat up and looks down at him.

"What are you doing, Dean?" he asks softly as Dean slides off of Cas. 

The hunter scoots farther back and meets Cas's gaze before licking the length of his dick. Cas's toes curl slightly and he sighs with pleasure. 

Dean finally opens his mouth and starts sucking. He bobs his head slightly, working his tongue expertly around the shaft. Cas can already feel himself growing hard. 

Too soon Dean is pulling away which causes Cas to whimper at the loss. Dean takes the bottle of lube and spreads some on his hand. Then without Cas realizing, he is rubbing it on the former angel's cock. It was cold and Cas props himself up on his elbows.

"I thought you were topping." Castiel points out, looking confused. Dean nods and kisses him softly before answering.

"I am on top." he finally says as he gingerly places Cas's dick at his opening. His hands splay against Cas's chest as he works the angel into him. 

"Dean...you're so tight." Cas mumbles as the hunter finally fits all of Cas's cock into him. Dean grimaces slightly, every movement followed by a tiny sting. 

Castiel lets Dean get used to the feeling before he sets his hands on the hunter's hips and thrusting gently into him. Dean gasps softly and closes his eyes, putting his head down between his arms.

"Open your eyes. I want to see you." Cas tells him as he reaches a hand up and lifts Dean's chin. The green eyes of Dean open hesitantly and he gazes into Cas's eyes as the angel thrusts into him again. 

"Harder, Cas." Dean manages to say through strangled, ragged breaths. Cas obliges and ruts his hips harder, gripping Dean's sides to keep him a little stiller.

Dean moans softly as Cas hits his sweet spot, and he bows his back. His hands card through the small hair on the back of his hunter's neck. Dean groans, louder this time and bounces slightly on Cas.

Cas starts moving faster, needing to please his hunter. Dean had never given himself so fully to Cas, had never been so vulnerable. But for Cas and Dean both it was a nice change. 

Dean's head was resting on Cas's shoulder, breath hot and sweet smelling. A huge moan of pure ecstasy drifts from Dean's gaping mouth as his back arches and his hands tighten around Cas's arms. He was cumming on both of their chests as Cas gave one final push into his hunter. 

Dean's body shakes and he stays where he is for a few minutes, coming down of the high of his orgasm. His eyes close as he gently pulls Cas out of him and slides between the former angel's legs. 

He takes Cas's cock gently in one hand and slips his mouth over the tip, teasing. Cas whines quietly and shifts his hips, making Dean's tongue glides smoothly over his shaft. 

Castiel shudders at the warmth of his hunter's mouth and bucks his hips. Dean brings his other hand and sets it on top of Cas's stomach, stopping him from moving anymore.

Dean works slowly, licking the tip of his cock hesitantly before placing his mouth over again. His tongue swirls around the shaft once, twice, and he's pulling away again. A smile plays on his lips as he sees Cas struggling against his him, wanting, needing the pleasure. It was almost fun to tease the angel like this.

Cas groans lustily and grabs the sheets in his hands, clenching his fists tightly and curling his toes. He reaches down and combs his hand through Dean's hair, holding him down to continue sucking his dick. 

It was an amazing feeling for the new-made human, Cas. He'd never experienced such pleasure, joy, or need when they were making love. Dean's hand moves up and down softly, slowly. Cas's eyes squeeze shut at the waves of enjoyment racking his body.

Dean moves down his shaft, tongue warm and lips slightly swollen as he pulls away and sighs softly. He meets Cas's now open eyes, looking greedily into the depths of his blue oceans. He crawls up and kisses him deeply before taking the lube again and spreading more on his own cock. 

Cas saw he was already hard again. The angel gulps slightly, knowing what the hunter was planning. Dean finally finishes and he looks down at Cas. "Turn over onto your stomach." he demands and Cas quickly follows his orders.

Cas pushes against him already, needing the relief. His dick was throbbing again as the feeling of Dean inside him grew.

Dean grabs the angel's hips, his thumbs skimming over the two dimples in his back. He thrusts into the angel quickly, making him moan softly and press against Dean harder.

Cas's back bows outward almost like a cat, trying to get Dean to hit his sweet spot. Dean grabs his arms and lifts him up to just his knees. Cas leans against Dean's chest heavily, making the hunter stumble with his rhythm slightly. He grabs Cas's cock, working to get him off.

Dean thrusts into him again and again, harder and faster as he reacts to Cas's low, loud moaning of his pleasure. Every time he hit the sweet spot Cas wanted him to, and his back arches away from Dean's chest as his entire being shakes. He is cumming as he clenches his teeth together.

Dean tries to keep pumping, but stutters to a stop as Cas's body squeezes everything. His eyes flutter and he whimpers and moans with the thrill of it all. He collapses against Dean's chest, waves of pleasure still coursing through him as he rides out his orgasm. 

Another loud groan escapes his lips as Dean finally cums inside, sending heat flowing through him. Dean lays back, Cas in his arms and lets the angel stay on top of him. Cas mumbles something incoherently as he shifts his weight. Dean pulls out of him gently, making the angel whine at the loss of pressure between his legs. 

Castiel shudders again and sighs, his chest heaving and his skin reddened and hot. He could feel Dean's chest rising and falling too, and the steady breathing makes Cas think his hunter feel asleep. 

"Cas, I love you." Dean says, almost startling Cas out of his silent reverie. The angel smiles and turns his head to look at him. 

"I love you too, Dean." he answers softly as he kisses the hunter. Dean grins into the kiss and their teeth clack together. 

Cas can feel something inside him click as he settles against the hunter. Dean finally turns into his side, and Cas scoots until he's flush against him. Dean curls his body into Cas's, and entangles their legs together. 

Cas smiles and takes a deep breath as he falls into his first peaceful sleep.   
\----  
The next morning when Dean rolls over, Cas's spot is unusually cold. And has been for a while. He sits up quickly and looks around. "Cas?" he calls as he stands up and slips his boxers on.

He grabs his jeans and grapples to put them on as he scrambles down the hallway. "Cas!?" his voice echoes through the empty bunker. He reaches for his phone to call the angel when he turns around to see a bright, golden blur racing past him. 

"CASTIEL!?" Dean follows the blur quickly, needing to find his angel. He runs through the twisting curving halls until he reaches a door he's never seen before.

Glancing around he tries the doorknob to find it's unlocked. He enters the room with one last look behind him. 

Just as he turns back, Sam appears, rushing toward him. A hand grabs the front Dean's shirt and savagely pulls him in. The door slams shut behind them.

Inside Dean finds his angel, bound and gagged in the middle of the room. He collapses next to the chair and starts to untie the rope from around his wrists. 

Pounding on the door interrupts him and he starts to open it. Cas screams and struggles against his bindings and Dean hurries back to finish untying him. 

"Dean!? It's not Cas!" Sam screams, his cries muffled by the heavy door. Dean can hear him, but he shakes his head as he finishes untying his love.

He removes the gag in his mouth and helps him stand. "Dean! Stay away from him he's not Cas!" Sam yells again frantically, pounding his fists against the door.

Dean opens the door and punches him. Sam groans and cups a hand over his nose in pain. Castiel comes out and chuckles down at them. 

"Idiots. Both of you." Cas says as he starts to walk away. Dean rushes after him and grabs his arm. Cas whirls around and punches him so hard Dean is sent flying backward.

Cas's body grows and splits open as a black, gooey substance seeps out of him. It grows and grows as Cas advances on Dean. 

Dean wakes with a gasp, jolting out of the bed and nearly tripping over his jeans on the floor. "Fucking hell." he exclaims softly as Cas sits up and rubs his eyes, yawning. Dean was sweating slightly, and he wipes at his damp forehead.

"What happened? Did you have a nightmare, Dean?" he asks in worry. Dean turns back to him and nods slightly, sitting back down. Cas wraps his arms around Dean's waist and pulls him closer. 

He rests his head on his back and listens to his heartbeat. It was normal, and not speeding up, hopefully ever again.

Dean leans into his touch, closing his eyes and relishes in the feeling of Cas's soft, tender touch. 

When Cas finally lets go, Dean is forgetting the nightmare and what had happened. It was all he could do to stay awake. His eyes droop until Cas gently shakes his shoulder and he finally stands.

They dress quickly and then go to the main room to see Sam asleep at the table. He snores loudly, and drool streams from the corner of his mouth. 

"Sammy!" Dean exclaims loudly as he drops one of the books on the table with a loud thud. Sam bolts awake, his hair messy and eyes tired. 

"What the fuck!?" Sam exclaims as he wipes at his mouth with his shirt sleeve. He grumbles his protest before standing and stretching.

"What were you researching that kept you up all night?" Cas asks in amazement as he glances down at the books. One was titled, 'Archangels and the Purpose of Them.' 

"Nothing. Just doing a bit of light reading." he says, quickly covering the books with a hand as he picks them up.

"All right, Hermione. Light reading, sure." Dean replies as he looks at the very thick books below expectations Sam's hand. Cas could almost see the sarcasm coming off of him in waves.

"If you must know...I was looking up things about the archangels. Did you know that Lucifer is still technically one, even though he fell. Isn't that weird. You'd think God would be able to- I don't know- take that power away from them, or something." Sam tells them as he turns to put the book up.

"Now that Lucifer is in the cage, he cannot harm anyone. Archangel or not." Cas retorts haughtily as he grabs the book and opens it. It was bookmarked at the page about Gabriel.

"And if you were looking at archangels in general, than why is it marked where Gabriel is talked about?" Cas questions, watching Sam's face grow beet red. 

"That's just where I stopped." he quickly informs them, his blush disappearing as hurriedly as it had come. 

"Hey bro!" a familiar voice rings out and Cas finds himself rushing to close the book and stuff it back on the shelf. Gabriel appears in the middle of the room and looks Cas up and down.

"Human looks good on you, Cassie." he comments with a smile as he turns to look over Dean. "Nice shirt, Deano." he adds with a chuckle as Dean looks down and sighs. Of all the things he could've forgotten, the shirt wasn't a big deal. 

"Eyes off." Castiel remarks as he glares at his brother. Gabriel laughs and looks back at Cas.

"Relax, bro. I've already got my soul mate. I don't need, let alone want, Dean." Dean rolls his eyes and glances at Sam who is standing uncomfortably still.

"Sammy. I'm lovin' the hair. Did you do something different to it?" he asks as he finally turns to Sam. 

Sam runs a hand through his hair before bolting off to the bathroom. "Was it something I said?" Gabriel asks after him. 

Cas turns on him, fury blazing in his eyes. "You need to stop teasing him like that, Gabriel. You know how he feels about being soul mates with you. Honestly, though, I can't say I blame him. Just look at you. You're filthy, and you look like hell." he growls out, trying to control the raging emotions inside him.

"Aw, Cassie. Seems you can't keep ahold of all those new emotions, huh? How was last night? Exciting?" he asks with a suggestive smirk. Dean charges toward him, but Sam finally comes out, hair brushed, and grabs his arms, pulling him back.

"He's not worth the effort, Dean." he tells his brother hurriedly. Dean pulls his arm away and glares at Gabriel.

Gabriel feigns hurt at the words, but is quickly running off as Cas chases after him. Dean watches them for a while before sitting down. "Sam. What if...what if I don't want this to happen for you?" he asks softly, looking afraid.

"Dean. We both know it's about what you want. Or even what I want. It's about the fact that if I don't get with him he'll die. If we don't eventually get married or some shit like that he'll die too." Sam groans in annoyance and covers his face with his hands.

"Wait, what!? You have to marry that fucking idiot?" he asks quietly, not wanting Cas or Gabe to notice what they were talking about. 

"Yeah. The angel could die if the soul mate doesn't marry them. There's like a whole bunch of steps, but it ends in marriage." Sam informs him. Dean sucks in a deep breath and covers his mouth with his hand.

"Shit." he mutters darkly. His brother had never even shown interest in men, and now he was talking about marrying one. And an angel at that. And an archangel. 

A loud clatter echoes through the main room followed Gabriel's frantic, worried voice calling Cas's name. Dean is on his feet in an instant, racing to the kitchen where they were.

He bursts in to see Castiel on his hands and knees on the floor, coughing up blood. "Cas!" he skids on his knees to his side and puts a hand on the angel's back. 

Cas shakes his head slightly and moves his hand away. He doesn't notice the hurt flashing in Dean's eyes as he leans away. He crawls toward the sink, standing up and washing his mouth off. 

Dean sits staring at the splatters of blood on the floor. They were too dark to be healthy. Almost black, and the viscosity was too thin. It was almost like water.

Gabriel is standing in the middle of the floor, face pale, eyes wide, and fists clenched. "Cas. You didn't tell me you were...sick. After losing your grace, and fighting with Dean." he finally speaks up, concern worming into his voice.

"It is not of import, Gabriel. Humans get sick." Cas mumbles as he braces himself on the fridge. Gabriel shakes his head and finally meets Cas's gaze.

"Not like this, Castiel. Not- not like this." he chokes as he takes a step back and suddenly disappears. As if on cue, Dean looks up to see Cas's eyes rolling to the back of his head as he collapses. 

"Cas!" he manages to catch him and soften his fall. He was squirming with his eyes closed and mouth open in a silent scream. He was having a seizure. "SAM!" his voice is rough and thin as he screams for his brother's help. He couldn't lose Cas. Not now, he would never survive without the angel. 

Sam is in the room nearly as quickly as Dean had gotten there. He takes one look at Cas and then crouches down to help. "Lay him down on his back. Move the table and chairs, hurry!" Dean does as he was told and moves the table away, followed by the chairs. Cas's arms twitch and his legs were stock still. His back arches and straightens involuntarily as he spasms.

"We have to hold him down or something!" Dean exclaims as Sam holds him back. Cas was frothing at the mouth, and his eyes move rapidly back and forth across the room. 

A few grunts escape his mouth. "No! We could hurt him if we try to hold him down." Sam quickly tells him as Dean tries to move the angel. "We can't move him either. You just have to wait it out, Dean. The most you can do is put his head in your lap." he adds. 

Dean sits by the angel and gently places his head in his lap. Cas's breathing suddenly stops and he passes out. Dean's heart races with worry as he gazes down at him.

Dean starts to move but Sam stops him. "If you try to conduct CPR you can hurt him. Wait until we're sure it's over." he says. It kills Dean not to be able to do anything, he felt useless.

"It'll be ok, baby. I'm here for you, I'll protect you." Dean murmurs to the angel as his muscles finally relax and his breathing starts up again. 

He sits up quickly and wipes at his mouth, sniffling softly. He turns to see Dean sitting there and Sam standing behind him. "Why are we on the kitchen floor?" he asks in confusion, his voice small.

Dean grabs him and roughly pulls him into a tight hug. He had almost lost the angel. Cas returns the hug willingly before pulling away and trying to stand.

He stumbles, but Dean is up and catching him in a split second. "Easy, Cas." he says as he lets him lean against his shoulder.

"I'm sick. I lost my grace, then we fought, then we made up. Now I'm sick." he tells Dean. Sam sucks in a quick, ragged breath and gulps.

"Cas. Stop, you'll get better. You- it won't come to that." Sam says quickly. Castiel smiles sadly and shakes his head.

"I'm afraid it might, Sam." he replies with a sigh. Dean looks between them, his eyes stretching wide.

"Is this about their steps you were telling me about earlier?" he asks Sam as he glares at his brother. Sam nods and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

"So I guess Cas and I have to get married, then?" he questions. Cas chuckles and shakes his head again.

"No, it doesn't work like that. It has to be sincere. Not because I'm dying." Cas tells him softly. Dean helps him back to the room and sits him on the bed. 

He digs in his nightstand drawer and takes out a small, velvety box. He kneels in front of Cas and smiles sadly. "It was already being planned. I just didn't know when to ask." he says softly. Tears prick Cas's vision and he sniffs deeply, wiping the already pouring tears. Dean takes a deep, shaky breath, nervousness coursing through him rapidly.

"Castiel. We've known each other for years now. Through all that time, I was always happy to just be with you. And I want to be able to wake up to see your perfect face every morning, not just as my boyfriend, but as my husband." he opens the box to showcase a golden band engraved with a cross on the outside and the word, 'Infinity' on the inside. In the middle of the cross there was a single emerald.

"The emerald is for my eyes. So I'll always be with you even when we're apart. The word infinity represents how long my love for you will last. And gold because..." his voice cracks and he falters. "Because it's symbolic of courage. And we'll need a lot of that to get through this together." he finally finishes and meets Cas's gaze. His eyes were like waterfalls. 

He nods and wraps his arms around Dean's neck, dragging him closer. "Yes. A thousand times, yes." he whispers as he pulls away and gives Dean a deep, needy kiss. They hug again, Dean's head resting in Cas's lap and the angel's draping over his shoulders, digging his fingers into the fabric of the hunter's shirt.

Dean couldn't explain why he was so happy, but it was perfect. Yes, Cas had agreed to marry him. But this happiness was beyond just the fact he was getting married to the love of his life.

As quickly as he thinks it though, Cas is pulling away again and kissing him a fiery passion. Dean returns the kiss with as much fervor, smiling widely. 

He grabs Cas's hand and slips the ring onto his left ring finger. Cas admires it for a while as he lays down. Dean stands and stretches before laying beside his fiancé. 

They fall asleep with their legs intertwined and smiles on their faces. As Dean opens his eyes one last time, the shimmering wings behind Cas grow brighter and brighter until they were as vibrant as the day Dean first met the angel. 

Cas's steady breathing proved he was asleep, and didn't notice that his wings were back. More breathtaking that before. The gold streaks were as light as the ring he wore on his finger. The silver made the black of his hair stand out. The blue tips were glowing. And the deep midnight blue of the other feathers was dazzling. 

Dean slept peacefully that night. Worry free and relaxed.


	10. Finding Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You are the first and last thing on my mind everyday."

The next morning Castiel woke up with a snort. Dean was shaking his shoulder, trying to get him up. "Cas, come on. It's already noon, you've slept all day." he was saying.

Cas finally sits up and rubs at his eyes, yawning softly. He fingers the ring on his hand and grins. "We're getting married." he exclaims quietly, jumping up and throwing himself into Dean's arms. 

Dean chuckles and squeezes him tightly. "I know, baby. I know. And guess what else?" Dean pulls away and looks at Cas, the angel's eyes growing wide as the wings on his back flap once.

"They're back! Dean, they're back!" he tells him happily, his voice rising with excitement. Dean nods and reaches out a hand, but Cas steps back. 

"Cas?" Dean tilts his head in confusion and draws his mouth into a tight line. Castiel smiles and looks at the hunter with a slight edge of fear in his eyes.

"Now that we're moving forward in our relationship, you shouldn't touch them in public." he informs Dean. 

"What? Why? We're not in public, Cas." Dean says as he takes a step forward. Cas takes another step back, worry flashing in his eyes.

"Dean." Cas's voice was filling with concern as Dean reaches his hand out again. Cas grabs his hand and holds it between his. 

"Please. Don't touch them." he pleads and watches as Dean looks away. "It's like a sweet spot now." he told him softly, voice filling with embarrassment. 

Dean starts laughing, setting his head on Cas's shoulder. "Why didn't you just tell me that at first?" he asks him while shaking his head.

"It's kind of embarrassing." Cas replies with a frown. Dean looks up at him, smiling widely as he leans in and kisses him. Cas blushes as the door opens and Sam walks in with his computer.

"So get-" he stops and sighs softly. "I really need to start knocking." he mutters to himself as Dean pulls away from Cas.

Castiel rolls his eyes and turns to Sam. "What'd you got?" he questions, mimicking Dean's voice. Sam chuckles and lifts his computer.

"Case in Dunedin, Florida. Four girls have disappeared in the last three weeks. All straight A students. I can't find a connection between any of them, besides that." he tells them with a slight sigh.

"How is this us, Sammy?" Dean asks him as he rolls his eyes at Cas. Sam scrolls down the page and scans the words until he finds something.

"Apparently, an odiferous stench was left behind, along with a huge footprint." Sam answers as he looks up at them again. 

"So what? Giant ass skunk...Sasquatch thing?" Dean wonders out loud. Sam snorts and Cas laughs softly, shaking his head. 

"No. Local lore has this thing called a skunk ape." Sam tells them. His mood is suddenly downcast, at the mention of Gabriel's nickname for him. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed the archangel. "There have been similar cases too."

Dean came over and looks over his shoulder at the screen. "And you think this thing is kidnapping people? Any idea how to kill it?" he asks as he scans the page with Sam.

"Well there's a lot of different theories. Burning, drowning, silver bullets. Nothing has ever been tried, of course." Sam replies with a frustrated sigh. 

Dean groans softly and goes to the door. "Well, I need breakfast before we drive off on some fucking wild goose chase. Cas, you want something?" he asks, but Cas shakes his head happily.

"Not hungry." he says as he flaps his wings again. Dean grins and walks off, leaving Cas and Sam alone. 

"Not hungry? You should eat, it'll help you feel better." Sam told him as he goes over and pats Cas's shoulder.

Cas shakes his head and his eyes glow as he meets Sam's gaze. The hunter widens his eyes and blinks rapidly, a smile growing on his face.

"They're back. That's....that's awesome!" he exclaims excitedly, drawing the angel into a tight hug. Cas laughs and hugs him back, closing his eyes as he enjoys the feeling of his wings again. 

Although it had been only ten very long days without them, he'd missed the wings so much. And now that Dean and him were starting to complete more steps, they would be even better. 

Dean arrives with a burger in his mouth and sees the two hugging. "I'm gone for two minutes and you're already gettin' rid of me." he jokes as Cas pulls away and smiles at his hunter.

"When were you gonna tell me he was an angel again?" Sam wonders as he turns to look at Dean. 

"Well, you know now. It just kind of slipped my mind." he answers with a shrug. Sam scoffs and raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"Slipped your mind? How does some shit this fucking big slip your mind?" Sam asks him incredulously. Dean raises an eyebrow and shrugs again.

"Watch the language, Sammy. You're cursing more than me lately, that's not normal for you." Dean tells him and Sam rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, well, it's a little fucking stressful to watch your brother almost fucking die, not to mention Crowley was supposed to bring Kevin back sometime yesterday, but guess what- no Kevin. Plus all this shit with Gabriel is blowing my mind, and I don't really know what to do! So just get off my fucking back, Dean!" Sam answers with a growl. 

"Shit, Kevin!" Dean grabs his phone from the bedside table and dials Crowley's number. It rings a few times and he answers.

"Squirrel! Long time, no see. Why are you calling me?" Crowley asks, his voice sounding genuinely confused.

"Where's Kevin!? You haven't brought him back!" Dean exclaims, and there is silence for what seems like eternity.

"Listen to me, Dean. I never took Kevin. I haven't even seen him since...well I don't know the last time I saw him, but it's been a while." he finally answers and Dean grimaces.

"Yeah, I doubt that. Where the hell did you take him?" Dean demands as he starts pacing the room.

"You let him get taken!? How the hell did you manage that?" Crowley wonders as he shakes his head. These boys would be the death of him.

"No, I just.... Hold on." he sets the phone down and walks out of the room. He hurries to his computer and types something into the search engine. Cas and Sam exchange a look.

Castiel grabs Dean's phone and they follow him out of the room. 

"Shit!" Sam rounds the corner to see Dean slamming his laptop shut and clenching his fists. He goes over and grabs his phone from Cas. 

"There have been cases of something like a shapeshifter near here." Dean tells Crowley quickly. The demon lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Like a shapeshifter? What does that mean, squirrel?" he asks the hunter, and Dean nearly hangs up.

"Not a shapeshifter. But like one. How fucking difficult is that to understand?" Dean was ready to explode. He'd let Kevin get taken. And by some shapeshifter that wasn't a shapeshifter. What was he supposed to do now?

"How'd a 'not shapeshifter' manage to turn into me? I'm the King of Hell, not some bloody bureaucrat! I thought those things could only turn into humans?" Crowley growls as his grip around his arm rest tightened. 

"Well apparently-"

"It's called a changeling. They can shift into anything they desire, and then they feed off of the love that person has for someone." Sam spoke up, interrupting his brother's conversation with Crowley. 

"D'ya' hear that?" Dean asks through the phone, but the only response is a grunt.

"I don't understand. Why would this changeling shift into Crowley. He's a demon, therefore he can't love anything." Castiel tells them with a tilt of his head.

"Wrong again, my angel compadre. I cannot physically love anyONE, but I do love things. For instance, I love kidnapping the prophet. I love physical and emotional pain, torture-"

"We get it." Dean cuts him off and sighs softly.

"So, Florida's out right now. We gotta find Kevin." he adds to Sam who nods. 

Cas sits on the table as Dean finishes his talk with Crowley. He hangs up and shoves his phone into his pocket, fists clenching and jaw set.

"These articles are all weeks old, Dean. There have been other similar cases- never solved- in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and the most recent... Florida. From less than a day ago. In Dunedin." Sam tells his brother.

Dean sucks in a breath and clenches his teeth together. "You think this changeling is the ape skunk?" he questions hesitantly.

"Well, I mean, it's plausible. The kidnapping, the smell, it's all the same at every crime scene. Kevin is just an addition." Sam answers, shrugging. He draws his mouth into a tight line and grits his teeth together.

Kevin had always been there when they needed him, but they had let the prophet down. They'd let him get taken, and just agreed to Crowley taking him. And it wasn't the real Crowley. 

"Well then....lets go to Florida." Dean announces as he grabs a bag and heads to his room. Sam stands and follows him down the hall to his own room.

Cas is left wondering if leaving is a good idea. Especially with what just happened, and all the problems Dean had just recently gotten over. Would the hunter be ok on this mission? 

Dean is back in a few minutes, the bag full of clothes. Sam follows shortly behind and they all head to the bunker door. 

To think they'd be leaving it once again, and staying in a crappy motel once again. Cas teleported into the car, and Sam and Dean went to the trunk.

"So, Cas is ok now? No coughing lately?" Sam asks softly. Dean looks at him and shakes his head.

"He's great. And as far as I know he hasn't been coughing, unless you've heard him." Dean replies, and Sam smiles in agreement. 

"No. I think everything's fine again. And I'm glad that both of you have made up, and I'm so happy for both of you." Sam exclaims as he pats his brother on the back.

Dean chuckles and closes the trunk before turning to look at Sam. "Hey, Sammy?" he asks quietly, and Sam raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Dean?" he shoots back. Dean hesitates and the shakes his head, shrugging it off. "What?" Sam prompts as he nudges him.

"I was just going to ask about Gabriel. But it's not my business, so I decided against it." Dean answers finally, making Sam look at the ground.

"To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm really confused about the whole fucking thing. I mean, on one hand, we're really good friends and I don't wanna ruin that. On the other hand, he's really hot- and I can't believe I just told you that. Fuck my life." Sam is blushing madly as he rambles on.

"Sam. If you like the guy, then by all means- go for it. No one here is stopping you except you." Dean stops his nervous talking and smiles reassuringly at his brother. "I mean, I know I've been telling you I don't want this for you, but honestly, I do. If Gabriel makes you happy then that's what's best for you, Sammy. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently, ok. Not even me, because I'm not you, Sam. Not everything revolves around me, and I know that- I just kind of forget sometimes. If I'm ever outta line about something you feel strongly about, you gotta tell me. I mean, yell at me if you need to, but let me know. And I may not listen to you, 'cause I'm a stubborn asshole like that but-"

"I got it! And thank you for telling me. I was mostly worried because you didn't seem to approve, and I hate disappointing you, Dean. And I should probably tell Gabriel soon, if he ever comes back. After what happened with Cas..." Sam trails off and sighs softly.

"Guys, come on! We're wasting time out here." Castiel calls from the car and Sam and Dean climb in. After a few seconds of starting the car and turning the radio up, they race away from the bunker and towards Florida.  
\----  
Many frequent stops, and nearly 23 hours later, they arrive in Pensacola, Florida. They still had another six hours to go before they reach their destination of Dunedin. Sam had been sleeping, and Dean was growing weary so he pulls over to the nearest gas station and shakes Sam awake.

"Your turn to drive. I'll fill her up and then we can go." Dean kills the engine and clambers out of the car, stuffing the keys in his pocket. Once he's inside, his brain clears up a bit. He grabs a bottle of water and salad for Sam, glaring at it in disgust. 

He also manages to find a pack of Mentos and a bag of chips for himself. He walks up to the register and pays the guy for the snacks and gas before heading back outside.

"Here. I got you some of that rabbit food you like so much." he announces as he hands Sam the salad and water and then moves to pump the gas into the Impala. Cas chuckles in th backseat. 

Sam rolls his eyes and opens the box, scarfing down everything in a few bites. "God I was hungry." he mutters as he takes a swig of the water. Cas watches Dean feed the car until the meter stops and then he takes his keys and rattles them in Sam's face. 

Sam snatches them out of his hand and scoots over in the seat. Dean opens the door and scrambles into the passenger seat. Sam starts the car and as he shuts the radio off Dean glares at him.

"House rules, Dean. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole. Right?" Sam grins as Dean crams a few chips in his mouth, taking a deep breath and screwing up his face in momentary annoyance. 

"This isn't music, Sam. This is silence." Castiel finally speaks up and Dean looks at his brother with a triumphant smile.

"Thank you, Cas." Dean says as Cas leans back in his seat. Sam scoffs and turns the radio on again, flipping through the stations until 'Ordinary World' by Duran Duran came on. Dean groans but doesn't say anything as they drive off.

The rest of the car ride was spent changing stations back and forth between two, and they ended up hearing the same song about five times. "Just fucking turn it off!" Dean finally yells as the riff for 'Ordinary World' starts again.

Sam switched the radio off with a smug grin on his face. Castiel stays silent in the back seat, looking out the window. 

'What are you thinking, Cas?' Dean asks through his thoughts. Cas jumps slightly, and glances up at the hunter in slight surprise. They had never communicated with their thoughts before.

'Just about how perfect this all is.' he finally replies softly, smiling as a bird whizzes past his window. 

'What do you mean?' Dean wonders as he finishes off his Mentos. Castiel doesn't reply for a while, and Dean starts to worry.

'All three of us hunting things again, just like old times. You and Sam fighting over silly things like the radio, and that I'm getting married to the perfect man.' he finally answers. Dean smiles and snorts soundlessly. 

"I'm goin' to sleep. How much longer?" Dean says out loud and Sam glances at a nearby sign.

"Well considering Dunedin isn't on any road signs yet, I'd say five and half hours." Sam tells him as he focuses back on the road. Dean groans and rolls over, closing his eyes and falling into a restless sleep.  
\----  
Castiel couldn't remember the last time he'd ever seen an alligator, but as they sped down the highway several of them were seen busying themselves in the swamps.

Dean was twitching adorably in his sleep, and Cas couldn't keep his eyes off of him. His eyes were moving under his eyelids, and his fingers were moving as if he were holding someone's hand. 

Sam's hands tighten around the steering wheel, and Cas silently wonders what's bothering him. "Are you ok Sam?" he finally questions out loud.

"Yeah, Cas. I'm good. We've got another thirty minutes to Dunedin." Sam tells him as they pass a sign saying 'Dunedin 8 miles'. 

Cas nods and Sam notices through the rearview mirror. It wasn't long before they were entering the town just before Dunedin. Cas must have been zoning out because the next thing he knows, Sam is pulling into a motel and waking Dean.

"We're here." he tells him as Dean bolts up and looks around, his eyes drooping with tiredness. He rubs at them and yawns softly, running a hand through his hair.

"All right. I'll go get us a room." Dean answers as he grabs one of the credit cards he and his dad had technically stolen.

Sam nods and sits back, waiting in the car for Dean. Cas appears beside him and smiles. "Mind if I come with you?" he asks hesitantly, and Dean shakes his head.

"No, yeah, come with me." he answers as he holds the door open for him. An older man was standing behind the counter, smoking a cigarette and fixing a fan to face him. 

"One room, two beds. Near the fire escape." Dean announces as the man looks him over, his eyes glazing over. "Please." he adds with a small smile.

The man nods and turns to a computer, typing something before taking Dean's card and swiping it. He hands it back and then grabs a pair of keys. "One for you, one for your friend." he says, chuckling. His voice was shaky and crackly.

His laughs were rough and they quickly turn into a coughing fit. A hacking cough that makes him take his cigarette out of his mouth. Dean takes a step back and Cas was blinking in concern.

"Your lungs are destroyed, if you hadn't started smoking..." the angel trails off and shakes his head slightly before reaching out his hand. Dean grabs his arm and shoots him a warning glare.

The man's coughing had died down and he looks up at the two. "Yeah, yeah. I hear about that all the time. But I figure, I'm dying soon anyway, so might as well go out with a bang." he says as he stuffs the bud back into his mouth. 

Dean drags Cas away and to the car. Sam starts it up again and Dean gave him the room number. They were staying downstairs, which was good for quick escapes. 

Sam parks the Impala and helps Dean grab everything they would need for the case. Castiel teleported into the room, looking around. There was a small fridge in the room, and the sign next to it said everything inside was free. A table and three chairs were set up on the wall under the window.

The two beds were fairly big, but Cas knew Sam would probably still have his feet hanging off the edge. He always did. There was a door for a closet, and as Cas opens another one, the bathroom was pretty big. There was only a shower, not bathtub. But the toilet and sink were there as well.

The door unlocks and Sam and Dean come in, giving the room the same once over Cas had, scrutinizing everything. Dean set his bags down on the table, and Sam follows suit. 

Cas watches as Dean sits down on one of the beds and kicks his shoes off, laying back. "Hey, I followed you guys. Hope you don't mind!" Gabriel interrupts the silence and appears beside the door. Sam jumps and Dean bolts up, only Cas didn't seem to be startled.

"Gabriel, what the hell!?" Dean exclaims as he frowns. Gabriel laughs and snaps his fingers, disappearing from everyone's sight, except Sam's.

"Gabe, stop playing games." Sam remarks as he glares at the table. Another laugh erupts from the top of the table and Sam shakes his head.

"Come on, Sasquatch, you're no fun!" Gabriel comments as he dances around Cas. Sam chuckles as he waves his hands over Cas's head. Cas turns around and shoves him away, trying to hold back a smile. 

"You're..... Wings!" Gabriel exclaims suddenly as he reappears and stares at Castiel in awe. Dean raises an eyebrow and frowns.

"I thought I was the only one who could see those!" he retorts as Cas grins. 

"Archangels can see every angel's wings." Gabriel shoots back as he grabs Cas's wings and lifts them up. To Sam it just looks like he was holding his arms out awkwardly, but he knew. 

"They're magnificent, Cassie! Last time I saw them they were so dull and lifeless....wait! Did you two..." he trails off as Cas raises his hand and shows off the ring, nodding.

"We completed the last step." he tells the archangel as Gabriel laughs in shock and hugs Cas. 

"This is great news! You're getting married, Cassie! And to Dean, no less! I'm just- I'm..." he laughs again and hugs Cas tighter. Dean silently wonders why Gabriel could touch Cas's wings, but Dean couldn't.

'You're my soul mate, Dean. It's different when you touch them, more...pleasurable.' Cas tells Dean through his thoughts. Gabriel finally pulls away and giggles, his mouth turning up in an excited smile.

Sam clears his throat and everyone's eyes turn to him. "Gabe, I need to talk to you." he says as he turns to the door and walks out. Gabriel freezes, his fists clenching and his stance tense. 

"It's ok, Gabriel. Just go...and be yourself." Dean encourages him as he stands up and walks up to the archangel. Gabriel shakes his head in worry and takes a step back, fear replacing his good nature. 

"I'm afraid of what he'll say, Dean. What if- what if he doesn't want t-to be with me?" he asks quietly, voice cracking with emotion. 

"Gabriel. Just go out there, put on a brave face and let my brother say what he has to say." Dean tells him as he pats him on the shoulder. Gabriel straightens up and nods before going to the door and opening it.

Sam stood there, looking small and pitiful despite his size. Cas smiles at Dean and walks closer as the door closes. "Thank you for doing that for my brother." he tells Dean as he leans down to kiss him.   
\----  
Sam takes a deep breath and glances at the ground nervously. "So...I just wanted to say something. I've been meaning to say it for a few days now, but when you came back all that crap happened with Cas and I just...yeah." he trails off and meets Gabriel's gaze.

"Just spit it out already, Gigantor." Gabriel prompts him impatiently. He doesn't let the fear or worries shadow his logic. 

"Right. Well, recently I found out that we were soul mates. And I'll admit, I didn't accept it. But then Cas told me about how you'd die or something if we didn't get together. Now granted that wasn't the only reason I wanted to tell you this, because believe me it's hard to talk to someone so amazing, but I just wanted to tell you... That, yes, I accept that we're soul mates. And I want to do something about that." Sam finally finishes and looks down, squeezing his eyes shut.

There was silence for a while before finally Gabriel whoops extremely loud and laughs in disbelief. "And here I thought you'd tell me I wasn't good enough for you! And you just, holy fucking hell, Sam! Don't scare me like that!" he exclaims as he runs out into the parking lot and around the Impala. 

Dean opens the door and looks out. "I heard screaming." he announces and Sam shakes his head, grinning happily. Cas teleports out beside Sam and rolls his eyes at Gabriel.

The archangel was acting like a child right now, circling the car with his arms outspread like wings and laughing uproariously. His eyes were closed, but his grin was the happiest thing Castiel had ever seen from his brother. It'd been awhile since he looked so...untroubled and carefree. 

Gabriel stops and turns to Sam, smiling wolfishly as he races up and hugs him. Sam returns the hug with just as much delight as the archangel. And before he could think, Gabriel was racing off again. 

"He's not going to calm down for a while. You've made him so happy, it was never genuine before. But now..." Cas trails off and chuckles. Gabriel had never been as happy as everyone perceived.

With this thought he found himself thinking of the first time he'd met the mischievous archangel. It wasn't until was several hundred years old that Gabriel began to take Cas under his wing. The archangel was easily 100 years older than Castiel, though he definitely didn't show his age.

Gabriel, even then, was constantly playing tricks on the angels. Cas remembers all of the angel's pleas to stop. The cold look their father gave him when he found out. And the banishment of his only friend.

Cas laughs softly as he reaches the fondest memory he had with the archangel. Gabriel had asked Cas to join in on one of his classic pranks. He hadn't even told Cas what to do until it had started. In hindsight, Castiel should've backed out right then, but of course he didn't.

Cas was supposed to block out all of the angel's heavens. It was supposed to be easy and quick. Until Gabriel showed up and ruined everything. He ended up changing the heavens to the angel's worst nightmares. That was when Gabriel had gotten banished. And was cast out of heaven by their father.

It wasn't until many centuries later that they met again. Even now, Cas still held some of Gabriel's qualities. 

He was cast out of his reverie by Gabriel shoving him. Cas glares at his brother, but Gabriel shoves him again and then runs away. 

Castiel laughs and chases after his brother, running after him quickly. Dean chuckles softly and comes to stand by his brother. "He took it well, huh?" he asks sarcastically, and Sam looks down at him.

"Surprisingly well. He thought I was gonna tell him he wasn't good enough for me." Sam tells Dean softly, shaking his head.

"You should've seen him inside, Sammy. He was terrified of going out there to see you, man. Shaking in his skin, almost." Dean admits, meeting Sam's gaze. 

Sam sighs softly, but he can't seem to hide his grin. This was unreal, but at the same time- he didn't want to ruin anything. He didn't want to kiss the archangel, but at the same time he did. It was all so confusing, like trying to find a needle in a non-existent haystack. 

Dean suddenly takes off back inside without another word. Castiel and Gabriel were still running after each other, trying desperately to catch the other. Gabriel trips but uses his wings to regain his balance and Castiel dodges the edges of them.

Sam sits on the bench outside, watching the two brothers and remembering when he and Dean used to be like that. Filled with happiness and hope. But now, everything seemed to be falling apart around them.

The only certainty they had in each other's lives was themselves and the fact they were brothers. And Dean had Cas, and now Sam had Gabriel.

Everything was as unclear as before, though. And as he contemplates the reasons, he is suddenly being doused with water. He bolts to his feet to see Dean standing there, a bucket held in his hands. Sam glares at him and Dean turns and takes off, joining the chase. 

Sam laughs and speeds after him, nearly tripping over his own feet. Castiel finally manages to nab Gabriel and bring him to the ground, rubbing his face in the dirt. He growls and flips Cas off, sticking his tongue out too. Cas shakes his head and smacks his hand, which allows the archangel to push his brother off and teleport away. 

Sam grabs Gabriel from behind and holds him in place. Gabriel struggles in his grasp, his feet kicking out, as Cas grabs the bucket that still had some water in it. Sam was already soaking Gabriel's back, and he struggles more.

"No, Cas! Don't do it!" Gabriel yells as he tries to escape Sam's grip. Cas laughs and teleports closer, dumping the water on his head. Gabriel yelps and Sam finally lets him go. The archangel whirls around and punches Sam in the stomach.

Sam fakes hurt as he over-dramatically grips his side and falls to the ground. "That's not even where I hit you!" Gabriel exclaims as Sam rolls onto his back and acts like he's dead. Dean giggles and grabs the bucket from Cas, filling it again with water before dumping it on Sam's head again. 

The younger Winchester groans in disgust and stands up, flicking the water off his hands. Dean laughs and dodged away as Sam goes in for a hug. 

He turns to Cas and quickly wraps him in a wet embrace. The angel laughs and teleports away, dusting off his now soaking wet trench coat. Dean sighs softly, panting slightly as he stares his brother down. Sam returns the glare, but suddenly the lights in the parking light flick on, causing them all to jump. Gabriel even lets out a squeal of terror. 

Sam and Dean bolt toward the motel room, and Cas and Gabriel fly off inside. Once everyone is inside, they all burst into laughter. 

It dies down when Sam leaves to change and Gabriel snaps his fingers to dry himself. Cas sits on the the bed he and Dean are sharing and sheds his trench coat. He hangs it on the chair today, sigh softly as he slips his shoes off. 

"We gotta case to solve and we're running outside like idiots, soaking each other like it's some fucking game." Dean mutters as he sits down and shakes his head.

"We were having fun, Dean. Even hunters need a break sometimes. Besides, we just got here. We were cooped in a car all day, we needed to work off the energy." Sam says as he comes out. 

Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes, laying down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. Gabriel looks at Sam who shakes his head slightly. The archangel nods imperceptibly and disappears. Sam grabs the keys from the nightstand and heading to the door.

"I'm gonna make a supply run. Be back soon." he tells them. He leaves the room silent and awkward. They can hear the Impala roar to life and the rumble of the engine as it races away. 

Castiel lays down and wraps one of his arms around Dean, laying his head on the hunter's chest. "Dean... Don't be angry with me." he pleads softly, closing his eyes. Dean's chest jolts up and he starts laughing quietly.

"Baby, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the whole thing. We let Kevin get taken, without any fight. We let him down, we let our family down, Cas. We just-" his voice breaks and he stops talking before it cracks again. 

Cas sits up and takes Dean's hand in his own, pulling him up. He raises his hand to show him the ring. "We did not let our family down. If we had, we wouldn't be in Florida right now trying to fix it. We would've given up long ago. This is a reminder that we can get through anything, remember? Gold is symbolic of courage, Dean... And, God, we have so much." Castiel tells him, pulling him with one arm into a sweet kiss. 

Dean kisses him back, but pulls away a little sooner than normal. "I'm tired, Cas." he informs him softly as he rolls over onto his side and squeezes his eyes shut. Castiel visibly droops at the hunter's words, sadness bogging him down. 

He stands up and moves to the other bed, climbing under the covers and curling into a ball. He could hear Dean shifting and moving on the bed, more than likely getting comfortable.

Cas was half asleep when a warm body curls up around him, a familiar calloused hand wrapping around his waist. "I'm sorry, Cas. I just don't want to think about what could've happened to Kevin." Dean whispers softly.

Castiel turns in his arms and snuggles closer, his head resting on Dean's chest. As they fell asleep together, Sam came back. He didn't wake them, and didn't seem to care that they had taken his bed. 

Sam kicks off his shoes and lays down in the bed, closing his eyes and starting to snore almost immediately. That night was filled with tossing and turning, snores echoing the room, and dreamless fields.


	11. The Abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, so it's super long. I hope you enjoy and the next book in the series should be out fairly soon. It'll be called Shatter

The next morning was uneventful. Dean wakes first, kissing Cas on the temple before turning to the bags on the table.

He rifles through them and sighs softly. Now that they were in Florida, everything seems a bit off. Sam wakes next, his feet hanging off the side of his bed and head hanging off the other.

When he sits up, he hits his head on the nightstand and yelps in pain. "Fuck!" he exclaims, causing Cas to open his eyes. Dean glances over but Sam just smiles and waves at him. 

The angel sits up and moves his feet to the side of the bed. He glances over at Dean, and then at Sam who is bleeding slightly. 

Sam pulls his hand away and groans softly, trying to hide the blood from Dean. Castiel stands and walks over to him. "Here, I'll heal it." he whispers as he reaches out his hand and quickly fixes the small scratch.

Sam nods slightly and gives him a small, appreciative smile. Dean finally looks over at the two and sighs softly. "We got a lotta work to do if we wanna find Kev." he tells them. 

Sam stands up and sorts through his bag. He grabs his laptop and hooks it up on the table. "I'll see if I can find exactly where this happened." he says as he pulls up a new tab. 

Dean sat down at one of the chairs and Sam sat in the one across from him. Cas sat down too, his shoulders hunched like he had the weight of the world on them. Although the weight of his wings was tremendous, it was nothing compared to the worries he had about heaven. 

He hadn't visited his home in nearly three months now. Not after what happened with Naomi and Metatron. He couldn't go back after all of the things he did. He'd helped Metatron cast the angels out of heaven, and granted he had been tricked by Metatron, he'd still fallen for it.

And now all of the angels they knew were looking for him, to kill him. Some wanted to join him, they believed he was the savior, but he couldn't lead them. He wasn't who they thought. He wasn't a leader.

"Cas?" Dean calls his name and Castiel quickly turns his head to meet his eyes. "Did you hear me?" he asks and Cas is forced to shake his head, shooting Dean an apologetic smile.

"No, Dean, I'm sorry. I was thinking about.... Heaven." he admits as Dean sucks in a deep breath. Sam glanced between the two, momentarily stopping his research. 

"Ok, well, I was just thinking that after we find Kevin, we could all go out and go do something." he says, hesitating to finish. Sam goes back to his research, not wanting to interrupt.

"Like what?" Cas asks him and Dean surprises himself by blushing. Castiel stares at him in shock and tilts his head slightly, about to prompt Dean to continue. 

"I don't know...like an amusement park?" he replies softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Cas mulls it over a moment before gazing back at Dean.

"What is the point of an amusement park? I've never been, perhaps it would be...fun." Cas tells him, and Dean gives him a smile. 

"You go and have fun, Cas. With the people you love and care about and you eat lots of food and you ride the rides and relax." Dean answers his question and Castiel finds himself imagining walking around and riding rides and having fun with Dean. 

"Yes, I believe that would be best after this case. It will help Kevin too." Cas agrees as he stands and stretches silently. 

"So get this!" Sam exclaims causing Dean to jump slightly at the sudden outburst. "So, obviously we're by the Gulf of Mexico, there's an island called... Honeymoon Island where the three girls were all last seen. And, a nearby camera picked this up the day Kevin was taken." he turns the computer toward them and presses play.

A gray blur races past, and Sam clicks a button that makes the image freeze. The gray blur was a person who looked an awful lot like Crowley and on his shoulder was a man, passed out and slumped over. In the next frame, the man's head was lifted enough to see that it was Kevin.

"Fucking hell." Dean nearly spits the words out and slams the laptop shut. Sam takes his computer back and inspects it wordlessly. "You know what this means, Sammy?" he asks and Sam looks up at him, shaking his head slightly.

"Either Crowley is lying about kidnapping Kevin, or the changeling is keeping those woman trapped on Honeymoon Island. Along with Kevin." Cas says. Dean nods and points at him, clicking his tongue.

"Ok, so let's head to Honeymoon Island. We'll figure out if it's really Crowley or not." Sam says as he starts to stand, but Dean clucks his tongue.

"Anything on killing a changeling?" he asks and Sam plops back down into his chair. 

"Changelings are old creatures. Not Purgatory old, but older than me. Perhaps you could ask Gabriel if he knows." Castiel interrupts them and Sam nods in agreement as he closes his eyes.

"You called?" Cas whirls around to find his brother standing there, a smirk on his face. Sam stands up and Gabriel eyes him, raising an eyebrow.

"Changelings. Whadda'ya know about 'em?" Dean questions and Gabriel hums softly.

"Well, they feed off of the love that the person they change into has for...whatever. They're basically love demons, they destroy whatever that person has love for. I mean, say it transforms into Dean...it would slowly suck away all the life in Castiel in order to gain power." Gabriel tells them and sits on the bed as Dean gazes at the ground.

"Do you know how to kill them?" Sam asks him, starting to pace the room anxiously. 

"Shapeshifters are killed by silver. Changelings...they're a bit more difficult. You have to kill the mother of the changeling, with fire. Burn them up and the changeling will die too. But, if the mother's already dead, option two...well, let's just say it's a bit messier." Gabriel answers.

"What is option two, Gabriel? We need to know." Castiel pleads and Gabriel glances out the window for a split second.

"First, you get the person that the changeling is stealing life from, and then you kill them." Gabriel replies softly. Sam, Dean, and Cas all exchange a glance with each other.

"But, that thing has Kevin. We can't kill him. Isn't there any other way?" Sam wonders as Gabriel looks up to him. 

"Well I mean...you could, in theory, cut out the heart of the changeling and feed it to the person it changed into. That's supposed to work too, but I've only dealt with these things once in my lifetime." he says and they all visibly relax. 

"But you don't know for sure if that'll work?" Dean finally speaks up, and voices everyone's worries. Gabriel doesn't answer because they all already know it may not work. 

"Thank you, Gabriel." Cas says and Gabriel stands up, nodding his welcome. Sam sighs softly as the archangel disappears. Dean goes back to being silent, shaking his head slightly.

"We should go to Honeymoon Island now, trap this changeling and rescue those woman and Kevin." Sam tells them and Cas nods in agreement. Dean stands up and grabs his bag from the table.

"I can fly us there if you wish." Castiel tells them and Sam grimaces slightly before they both nod. 

"It'll be faster that way, so let's do it." Dean pipes in and Cas raises his hands to their foreheads. The ruffle of wings echoes through the room and Dean opens his eyes to see Cas's magnificent wings stretching higher, and then one flap sends them flying off faster than he can blink. 

Sam opens his eyes once they land and stumbles slightly. Dean manages to stay standing and crouches down to sort through his bag. "Remember, talk first, stab later. We need this thing alive because it might not have Kevin here." he informs them, and Cas and Sam nod.

Cas drops the angel blade into his hand, gripping it tightly. Dean hands Sam the other angel blade and keeps the demon knife for himself. He also hands Sam a gun.

"Silver bullets, not sure if it'll work but it's worth a try." Dean tells him as he grabs a gun of his own. He stands up, grabbing the bag, and they all head off, walking briskly toward the beach. 

There was a single lonely boat floating by the dock and Dean hops in. Cas follows him and Sam unties the rope before jumping down. 

Dean points the wheel toward Honeymoon Island off in the distance. It was only about 30 minutes later when they reach the bank of the island. 

After Sam ties the rope, they all climb the hills of the island, panting softly by the time the sun begins to rise. "Look." Cas points out over the Gulf of Mexico to another small island.

"Cas, we don't have time to admire the sights. We gotta find Kevin." Dean snaps at the angel and Cas sighs softly.

Sam and Dean exchange a glance before splitting up. They could both see the building ahead and Castiel almost teleports to it, but suddenly he was kneeling over and groaning softly in pain. 

Dean's head shoots back and he hurries over to Cas, helping him sit down. "You ok, Cas?" he asks gently, and waves at Sam to go ahead. 

"Yeah, I'm ok. That building is warded against angels. Very strong warding, I might add." Cas says and Dean helps him stand. 

"It's ok, I'm here for you, Cas. I'll help you." Dean tells him softly as he wraps an arm around Cas's waist. Cas slips his arm over Dean's neck to support himself.

It wasn't long before Dean was literally dragging Cas along. "Cas, baby, come on you gotta help me out here." Cas groaned softly and Dean propped him up against a nearby tree and gently patted his face.

Sam came back with a worried expression on his face. "Warding?" he asks and Dean nods frantically. 

"Go in there and muss that shit. We need Cas for this." Dean says and Sam nods before grabbing the spray can from Dean's bag. 

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Sam tells them and Dean motions toward Cas.

"Hurry!" he shouts as Sam races off toward the building. Dean helps Cas sit in the ground, looking at him worriedly. 

"Dean, don't worry about me. I'll be ok." Cas says softly and Dean chuckles.

"Telling me not to worry makes me worry more, Cas. You're my baby, and I don't want to lose you again. I'm not strong enough to lose you again." Dean answers and Cas smiles slightly.

"Dean, when you told me all those things in the hospital about how you'd never leave me and things like that, the reason I didn't answer is because-"

"You don't have to tell me, Cas." Dean interrupts him but Cas shoots him a glare.

"Dean, listen. The reason I didn't answer isn't because I didn't care. It's because I was scared of what would happen if I did. I was terrified that if I answered I would break. That the weight of all of it would finally come crashing down on me. I was afraid of what I would say, Dean. Because you are my heart, my everything. You're the reason I stay at he bunker everyday, you're the reason I laugh and smile and sometimes cry. You're the reason I loved. And I didn't want to ruin it by saying that at that point I wanted to give up and just make you forget me. I wasn't strong enough to face our problems but now I know that with you anything is possible." Cas says quietly and Dean can feel tears in his eyes.

"And I want you to know that everything you said, I believe. I won't leave you either, Dean. I won't abandon you anymore. I won't take anything you say or do for granted. I won't let anything happen to you as long as I live. Dean.. I love you." Cas's eyes sprout with tears as Dean leans down and kisses him sweetly. 

Suddenly Cas was pulling away, standing up on his own and sighing softly. "That's better." he mumbles as he turns back to the hunter and kisses him again. 

It wasn't long before Sam was running over, wondering if Cas was ok and stopping in his tracks when he saw them. He would've teased them about it if he could think of something, but all he could remember about them was that they were getting married. 

"Nice work, Sammy!" Dean exclaims as he pulls away reluctantly and notices his brother. 

"Dean!" Sam shouts and tackles his brother just as a huge beast jumps past them. 

"Holy shit!" Dean yells as he scrambles away from the monster. It wasn't that big, it only reached to about Cas's waist, but it's eyes were bug like and it had wings that were torn and flimsy, almost like a fly. It opened its mouth and they saw huge, gleaming canines stained with dark blood. 

"Changeling." Castiel mutters as he steps back closer to Sam and Dean. Sam helps his brother stand and then turns back to the changeling, which now looks exactly like Cas. 

"Dean, look out! That's the changeling." it calls and Dean rolls his eyes.

"You expect me to believe that?" he asks but suddenly Sam nudges him. 

"It doesn't have the ring." he whispers and Dean looks down at Cas's hand. The one standing across from them had his engagement ring, but the one right beside him didn't. 

Dean raised his gun and shot a silver bullet straight through its head. The changeling snarled at him and lunged, taking him to the ground and punching him in the jaw. Dean suddenly felt weak and as he tried to lift his arm to push the creature off of him, he found his arms wouldn't move. 

"We feed off of love. This man has much love for you, Dean Winchester. Too bad I'll have to kill you, I kind of liked being Castiel." it growls and Dean glares at it. 

He tries to move his arms again but as he hears the sound of a gun he realizes Sam is shooting at it.

And Cas was no where to be seen. "Seems your love left. Bad memories from Purgatory I presume." it screeches, unfazed by the bullets. 

"How do you know that!?" Dean questions, finding the strength to shove it off and hold it down. 

"I have every single memory that Castiel does, Dean. All those sleepless nights together, kissing and groping and sex. Long hours of Castiel wondering if this was right? If he made the right choice or not? Wondering if all the things he said, about love and want and desire, if they were true? If staying with you and going through this heartache was worth it? And even thinking at his worst that he wanted to kill himself. Did he tell you that, Dean? I know he told you about the hospital, about giving up. But it's not what he wanted to say." The changeling giggles menacingly and Dean was thrown back to the ground. Whenever Sam tried to help, the changeling would throw his hand up and send him flying back against a tree.

"He wanted to die in the wreck, Dean! That's why he didn't answer you, not because he was scared, but because he wanted to die!" Dean was glaring up at the thing in horror, trying not to take anything to heart. 

"Just because you know his memories, doesn't mean you wouldn't lie!" Dean shouts angrily, flailing under the changeling's weight. Suddenly a silver knife was plunging through the changeling's back and out of its chest. The changeling screeched and fell off of Dean, thrashing in the undergrowth feebly. 

"He wanted to die!" he managed to scream harshly just before it lies down and passes out. Castiel was standing above it, panting and looking frantic. Dean pants softly and looks up at Cas with worry. 

"We have to cut out the heart. We have to...feed it to- to Cas." Sam says hurriedly as the changeling twitches. 

Castiel screws up his nose as he knelt down and took the knife out, preparing to cut into its skin. "It's fine, I'll do it." Dean interjects as he grabs the angel blade from Cas's hand.

Cas shoots him a terrified look, his skin pale expect his flushed cheeks. "It's ok." Dean reassures him gently and Cas let go of the blade. 

Dean jams the blade into the changelings chest and works his way around where the heart would be. Castiel was looking at Sam, eyes full of concern. Sam beckons him over and Cas appears beside him. 

"Was what that thing said true? You wanted to kill yourself, Cas?" he asks worriedly and Castiel avoids his gaze, not answering. What could he say that would fix this? 

"Cas?" Dean calls and Cas looks over to see the changeling's heart in his hand. The changeling's eyes open and Sam shouts Dean name in warning. 

The Cas lookalike lunges at Dean who drops the heart on the ground. The changeling screeches and punches Dean again and again. Cas teleported over and grabbed the heart from the floor, staring at it in disgust before squeezing his eyes shut and digging his teeth into the flesh. 

He swallows quickly and the changeling freezes, a low wail escaping it's throat. Dean shoves it off and the changeling writhes on the floor, screaming in agony. Cas took another bite out of its heart, almost gagging on the sour odor. 

"No! We needed it alive, Cas!" Sam yells but it was too late. 

Dean and Sam watch as the changeling suddenly stops and fades away. Cas drops the heart and stares at his hand with his nose scrunching up and one eyebrow raising.

Sam sighs heavily and then turns to Cas and Dean. "Fine, it's fine. Come on, we gotta get everyone out." he tells them quickly and Dean nods.

"Let's go." he says and the others follow him. Cas stares at the floor as Sam drops back and nudges him.

"You didn't answer, Cas." he points out and Castiel sighs heavily.

"Yes, it's true. I...I wanted to just end it and let my father take me. I wanted the pain to be over." he admits and Sam looks at the angel with pity. 

"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm just glad you didn't, because Dean wouldn't be able to live without you. Literally." he informs him but Cas doesn't answer. He speeds up his walk to catch up with Dean, lacing his fingers with the hunter's. 

Sam walks behind them, contemplating Cas's answer and wondering if he would ever tell Dean. They reach the building in another few minutes and Dean kicks the door down. He also wonders if they would find Kevin now that they'd killed the only changeling.

There was only one room, and the woman who had been kidnapped were all there, but there was no Kevin to be seen. Dean and Sam both went over and start untying the girls, helping them stand while Castiel closes his eyes and disappears. 

"Ok, all of you follow us. We'll get you out of here." Dean says and they all look at him with fear. As he turns to leave Cas appears again, looking very weak. He wobbles on his feet and Dean helps him stay stable. 

"Are you ok?" one of the girls asks and Castiel nods. 

"Yes, I'm fine. Dean, it's the changeling. There's another one." he tells him and Sam and him groan simultaneously. 

"Well, fuck me!" Dean snarls as he takes out his knife and turns to Sam. "Stay with them. Cas and I are going out there to find this motherfucker and kill him." he says and Sam nods as he takes his own knife out.

"Don't kill it, Dean. What about Kevin?" Sam asks, but they had already left. "Dammit." he mutters. 

"This way." Cas says as he leaves and leads Dean down the path. 

"Who's this one look like?" Dean questions quickly, and notices Cas's hesitation. "Cas, come on." he pleads.

"Like you. It looks like you." he finally speaks and Dean sighs heavily. Castiel doesn't say anything else as they walk, keeping a look out for the other Dean. 

Without warning Dean is thrown forward, another Dean on top of him. Before Cas can react, the Deans start fighting, throwing punches and tackling the other. Cas couldn't tell the difference. 

"Shit, Cas. Help me, dammit!" they call together and Cas takes a step back. They both stand up and Cas glances between them in confusion. 

"Cas, just teleport over and stab him!" one of them yells and Cas blinks. He wasn't going to help either of them. And then suddenly they start fighting again. One of them punches the other sending him to the ground easily. 

Cas remembers something he had found out. Changelings were stronger than many creatures including humans. Just as he was about to teleport over and stab it, Dean stands up and tackles it easily. They roll down the nearby hill and break apart again. 

"Cas!" Dean's voice rang out with pain. Castiel teleports down to see one of the Deans stabbing the other. Cas's mind races with millions of thoughts as he flies over and plunges the angel blade through the other Dean's back. It groans in pain and collapses onto the floor, gasping for breath. 

The one on the ground twitches and its eyes open as it stands up and grins wolfishly. 

"Oopsie....wrong Dean." it says and Cas's eyes widen. His Dean was laying on the floor bleeding out and clutching at his stomach where the knife was protruding from.

The changeling chuckles and takes a step forward. Castiel tries to think of something to say, but his mind was black. He had stabbed Dean, his Dean, his hunter. All because his rational thoughts had disappeared. He could feel a sharp, stabbing pain running through his heart as he realizes Dean was gone. 

"Looks like your lucks run out. Without Dean you can't kill me, and now you're useless too. Dean has a lot of love for you, Castiel. More than he lets on. You know the reason he screamed at you for not talking to him? That was because he knew that if you died he'd go crazy. If you died he knew that he'd end up slowly eating himself alive, damaging himself from the inside out. The reason he was so happy to touch you after that seizure? Because he thought he was useless to you, thought he did nothing to help." it tells him and Castiel's voice returns.

"Dean is not useless! He is very valuable, in ways even he doesn't know. Why? Because I haven't told him. I haven't told him that when I see him it makes my day brighter. I haven't told him that his smile is my world or that his laugh lightens my heart. I haven't told him that everything about him is perfect, and that the only reason I didn't give up my life is for him! The only reason I didn't kill myself is because I knew he'd never forgive himself, he'd think it was his fault when in reality it would've mine! Because I would've been too...weak to fight. Dean is not useless because his use is being loved by me!" he screams, lunging at the creature and stabbing it again, straight in the head.

He takes the knife out and stabs it one more time before scrambling quickly over to Dean. "Cas?" his voice was weak and Cas felt tears start streaming down his face. 

"Dean, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. This is my fault, I'm sorry!" he exclaims softly and Dean shakes his head slightly. 

"Just heal me, dammit, Cas." he mutters and Castiel raises his hand. Dean subconsciously leans into the touch as his beaten face was healed. The large stab wound on his back knits together, closing the gash and repairing everything inside. The only thing Cas couldn't replace was Dean's blood. 

His face was still pale but as he leans up to kiss Cas's mouth the angel forgot everything that had happened. All he could remember was Dean's sweet breath along his lips as he closes the gap, the warmth of Dean's mouth moving against him, the gentle tickle of the scruff on his face, the soft hairs at the back of his neck as he runs his hand through it, the pressing of his tongue against Dean's, and the welcome feel of their noses pressing together. 

Dean's hand came up to cup Cas's cheek, deepening the kiss. Rustling nearby made them pull away and Cas helps Dean stand, supporting him with an arm around his waist. Sam and the other girls appear and Cas and Dean let out a sigh of relief. 

"Sam, take them to the boat and wait for us there. We have something to do." Dean tells him, motioning toward the changeling. Sam nods and clicks his flashlight on again, padding away through the bushes with the woman following behind him. 

Once Cas finishes cutting out the creature's heart and Dean eats until it disappears, they head back to the boat. "We still gotta fucking find Kevin, shit. This is my fault, I shouldn't have killed it." Dean exclaims moodily as he shakes his head. Cas put a hand on his arm, and they stop. 

"We'll find him, Dean. It'll be fine, and Kevin will be ok." he reassured him and Dean presses his forehead against Cas's, leaning into him. 

"I'm scared for that kid, Cas. I mean, what if we don't find him in time?" he asks and Castiel sighs softly. He doesn't answer for a while.

"We will, Dean. We will." he finally replies as he gives Dean a quick kiss and then moves to get onto the boat. Dean follows his lead, untying the boat as he goes. 

"All right Sam, hit it." he exclaims and hears the boat roar to life and they accelerate slowly away. One of the girls came out, eyeing both Cas and Dean as they talk about Kevin. 

"We shouldn't have killed it. It could've told us where it's keeping Kevin." Dean points out and Cas nods in agreement. 

"I know. But neither of us thought about that at the time. Perhaps we should've payed attention to that first, it would've been easier. Then again, we don't really have any place to keep it on the boat." Castiel answers and Dean finds himself stepping away. 

"I'll be right back, I need to go talk to Sam for a second." Dean tells him and Cas smiles.

"Of course." he says as Dean walks off. The girl came over to stand by Cas, looking up at him.

"Do you think that thing wanted to kill us?" she asks him, and Cas sighs heavily at the question. Usually he didn't talk to the victims, that was up to Sam and Dean.

"Yes, I do. That creature didn't possess any forms of remorse for what it had done to any of you. I believe it would have killed of we'd have given it a chance." he tells her. 

"I'm Katrina, by the way." she held out her hand and Cas shook it. Her hair was blonde, and considering her skin was a beautiful olive color it was a stark contrast. The gold in her eyes shone like the sun, and Cas had to admit she was pretty. 

"Castiel." he says and she smiles. Probably thinking about how odd a name he had. 

"That other guy, he seems tense." she tells him and Cas can't help but chuckle. 

"Yes, he often times is very tense. In our line of work, it's hard not to though." Cas informs her and she nods. Crossing her arms, she leans onto the railing of the boat, looking out at the sea quietly. 

Cas copies her stance, staring at the water with a sort of silent intensity that he often didn't realize he was doing. He could hear Katrina's breathing, steady if not still a little frightened.

She looks over at him and clears her throat. "You know, you're really attractive. Do you have a girlfriend?" she asks him and Castiel shakes his head. 

"I've never had a girlfriend." he tells her, not quite understanding the lust in her voice. She turns to look at him, but Dean had come back out and was hurriedly walking over to them. Jealousy flares up in his chest as he sees Katrina looking at Castiel with longing, her lips slightly parted.

He throws his arm around Cas's shoulders and kisses him on the cheek before she can come any closer. Cas flushes but looks up at Dean with a smile. Katrina leaves then, blushing with embarrassment. "Cas, are you ok?" Dean asks as Cas looks at him in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he wonders and Dean smiles, shaking his head slightly.

"No reason." he says, removing his arm to place his hand in Cas's. He'd missed this. The quiet nights that they stayed up and just smiled and each other. The feel of their skin pressing together. 

"The stars are very bright tonight." Cas comments, watching them twinkle with his eyes widened in awe.

"That's 'cause we're not in the city. Usually at the motels there's too much light to see them that well. But out here, it's kind of like it's just you and the stars. It's almost like nothing can ruin it." Dean says softly, propping his head up with his hand. 

"That was very philosophical for you, Dean." Castiel teases and Dean looks over at him, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, well, don't tell Sammy." he jokes as he looks out over the water. The stars reflect clearly in the water, and the moon was just a circle of light being broken up by the wake from the boat. 

"We're almost to the shore." Cas informs Dean as he points to the nearby dock. Dean sighs heavily and runs a hand down his jawline. 

"I just want a break from all of this. I'm so tired of fucking doing all this shit." he remarks as they pull up and the engine dies. 

Dean helps Cas out of the boat and shows him how to tie the knot as Sam leads the girls onto the pier. It wasn't long before they were all heading back to the Impala. 

"All right, girls. It'd really help us if you didn't mention us when you get back, we were just three guys hiking out there and happened upon all of you. And don't mention the creature you saw either. They're both gone now, so people'll think you're crazy if you say anything about it." Dean tells them and they all nod in agreement. 

"The town is about three miles up the road that way. Unfortunately you'll have to walk from here, just stick together and you'll all be fine." Sam adds as they all look back where he'd motioned. 

When the girls turn back Sam, Dean, and Cas were all gone. They appear back in the motel to see Gabriel there dancing around like an idiot, candy wrappers all over the floor. 

"What the fuck!?" Dean tells and Gabriel freezes, turning to the hunters.

"Oh. Hello! Welcome back. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty to make your humble abode more like home so I'd be welcome." he tells them and Sam shakes his head.

"Welcome?" Cas asks and Gabriel nods quickly.

"Well, I figured I'd be staying here and helping you find Kevin." he says and Dean and Sam both glare at him.

"Where are you gonna sleep, 'cause it sure as he'll isn't gonna be in the same bed as Sam. You may be soul mates, but that's not happening. At all." Dean informs him sternly and Sam blushes a bright fire truck red. 

"We can always get another room for him." Sam points out and Gabriel looks crestfallen. 

"I think he wanted to be with you, Sam. Spend more time with you?" Cas interrupts before Dean can say anything. Sam's cheeks were surprisingly able to get an even brighter shade of red as he looks down at Castiel. "Plus I doubt you have enough money for two rooms." he adds.

"What did I just say! He's not staying in the same bed as my brother!" Dean yells furiously and Gabriel giggles.

"You and Cas share a bed every night." he comments and Dean turns his furious glare to the archangel. 

"We've been soul mates for a lot longer than you and Sam. Not to mention we're getting married, which you and Sam are not. So, keep out of it." he growls as Gabriel raises his hands in surrender.

"You and Sam could share a bed. Cassie and I could share." he adds and Dean's glare returns to him. 

"Ew. No thanks. I'm not sleeping in the same bed as my brother, that's just weird." he retorts, shaking his head. 

"Then it looks like I'm sleepin' with Sasquatch." Gabriel says happily and Sam turns even brighter.

"Hell no!" Dean shouts as he takes a step toward the archangel.

"Hells yeah!" Gabriel retorts as he jumps into Sam's bed eagerly. Cas's hand at the small of Dean's back made him turn to his angel.

"I can fly us inside another room for free." he says and Dean nods. As Cas raises his hand the last thing he hears is Gabriel saying not to, "go too hard" on his brother. When Dean opens his eyes he sees they are in a room identical to the other, except that there's only one bed now.

Cas pushes Dean against the wall and kisses him deeply, taking the hunter's breath away. "A little eager, Cas?" Dean teases and Cas looks up at him with passion.

"I've missed being alone with you." he admits softly and Dean smiles and he pushes Cas's trench coat off to the floor. Cas doesn't hesitate to take Dean's shirts off as well, and then pushes him to the bed.

He slips off his overcoat and white dress shirt off, looking down at the hunter. He felt a spark of something stir in him as Dean starts to prop himself up on his elbows.

"Stay still." Cas demands and Dean looks up at him in shock, not use to the dominance in the angle's voice. Dean does as he's told, not moving an inch as Cas leans down and kisses the hunter's jawline, trailing open mouthed kisses down to his collarbones. 

Cas moves and works Dean's shoes off, throwing them on the floor before nearly tearing off his socks and jeans. He unbuckles the black belt from around his waist and then takes off his own pants, leaving them both in just boxers. 

A knock on the door causes Cas to growl softly and frown in frustration. Dean slips a shirt on and opens the door, hiding his waist down behind it. 

"Dean. Guess who's here?" Sam says excitedly, smiling. Dean shrugs and is about to speak when Cas's arm wraps around his waist, hidden from Sam's view. 

"I don't know. Fucking hell, Kevin?" he guesses and Sam shakes his head. Cas's hand slips below the waistband of Dean's boxers, soliciting a quiet gasp from Dean as he gently strokes his dick through the fabric. 

"Charlie. She's here, and she wanted me to tell you. She's coming over now." he finally tells Dean and the older Winchester smiles widely. 

"That's great, Sammy. I haven't seen her in a while." Dean says happily and Sam nods in agreement. Cas's hand reaches lower, under the fabric of Dean's boxers. Dean clenches his fist against the doorframe, noticing the weird look Sam shoots him. 

"Yeah, uhm, she wants to see you." he adds and Dean nods, about to say something when Cas's hand flicks just right and causes a moan to escape to Dean's mouth. He blushes furiously, quickly sticks his head back inside and slams the door shut, leaving Sam outside blinking rapidly. 

Cas chuckles as Dean leans into his body, breathless. He moves his hand away from Dean's cock and moves him back to the bed. "You shouldn't have made any sounds, Sam wouldn't have known what we were doing." Cas tells him and Dean blushes again, igniting his face with freckles.

"Yeah, shut up." he mutters softly as Cas slips his shirt off again. The angel grabs the edge of Dean's boxers and slowly pulls them down, taking his time and driving Dean mad. The hunter is about to grab Cas's waist when he glares up at him, eyes bright.

"Stay still, Dean." he says again and Dean, for some odd reason, finds himself unable to move. Cas finally gets Dean's boxers off and then slips off his own, leaning down to kiss him. 

Cas's hand strokes Dean's dick, covering his gasps with the kiss. He explores the hunter's mouth with his tongue, enjoying the feeling of his Dean unable to do anything. 

Cas moves down and gently licks the tip, making Dean gasp in pleasure. "Fuck, Cas, just...fuck." Dean was frantic as Cas slowly moves up the length of his shaft with his tongue, his blue eyes not once leaving the green expanses of Dean's. 

Dean couldn't move his arms and they seemed pinned at his sides. Cas moves up his body with kisses until he reaches the hunter's face. Smiling he raises his hand and snaps, earning a small bottle of lube in his hands. 

"I'm topping." he repeats Dean's words from what seemed so long ago. Dean gulps softly and watches as Cas spreads some lube on his finger before working one into Dean's ass, then working another. 

Dean gasps softly as Cas puts in a third finger, curling them up and making his body shudder and a loud moan escape his lips. 

Once Cas pulls away, he spreads some lube on his own dick and then positions himself carefully by Dean's opening. He gently pushes into him, seemingly happy as Dean groans and tries to work down but finds he can't move anything now, including his legs. 

Castiel thrusts into him all the way, a hiss emitting from his hunter's mouth through gritted teeth. "Shit, Cas. Just fucking move already, please!" he exclaims as he tries to fuck himself down again. 

Cas stays still and leans down to kiss Dean. He bites at his earlobe and then whispers into his ear. "What do you want me to do?" he asks and Dean can't help but blush as he whimpers slightly. 

"Cas, please...just move." he says and Cas shakes his head slightly at Dean's desperate tone. 

"Move what?" he prompts and Dean's entire chest lights up with red at the angel's question. Dean can't answer at first as he tries to get over the initial embarrassment at basically being told to beg for what he wants. 

"God, Cas, just fuck me!" he finally yells and Cas covers his mouth quickly. 

"You have to stay quiet, or I'll stop, ok?" he asks and Dean nods as Cas moves his hand away and thrusts his dick into him. Dean immediately feels pleasure, and lets out a low moan. Cas leans down and kisses him as he ruts into him. 

As he pulls away, Dean speaks again. "Faster." he manages to say through his ragged breathes. Cas thrusts faster and Dean grits his teeth to stop from moaning. His mouth opens but Cas quickly places his mouth over the hunter's open mouth to catch the loud groan of ecstasy. His breath was sweet and Castiel licks into his mouth. Dean grants him access hurriedly and tries to frantically move his arms. 

"Harder, Cas, God!" Dean shouts just as Cas claps a hand over his lips. Cas doesn't go any faster though and Dean groans.

"Please, Cas....harder...faster." Castiel grips Dean's sides to keep him still as he quickens his pace. The bed springs squeak in protest at the movement as Cas's thrusts become more erratic and uneven. 

Dean moans as Cas hits his sweet spot, and without thinking, Dean is reaching out to touch Cas's wings. He runs his fingers through them and Castiel moans loudly in pure pleasure. 

His wings stretch forward for more and his hands splay over Dean's chest. Dean takes this as his opportunity and flips them over, thrusting his cock into Castiel.

The angel gasps as Dean's hands card through his wings. He hits an especially sensitive spot and Cas screams out Dean's name, making it echo throughout the room. 

Dean bucks his hips one more time, Cas's eyes squeeze shut, and his wings spread out to their full length as each tip touches the opposite wall of the room. Dean's hands tangle in the feathers as he cums into Cas, causing a lusty, deafening moan to flow from the angel's mouth a into the room with Sam, Gabriel, and Charlie. 

Dean pulls out of Cas and starts sucking his dick, working to get the angel to cum. It wasn't long before the white liquid was flowing out and into Dean's mouth. Once every last drop was out, Dean swallows, wiping a single strip from his chin. 

He kisses Cas and the angel's wings wrap protectively around them both, encasing them with warmth and shelter. 

In the other room, Charlie stands up and bangs on the wall. "If you two are done sexing it up over there, it'd be great if you'd come and see me!" she yells and Gabriel giggles as a moan of protest answers her. 

"I like you." he tells her and she shrugs. 

"I know." she replies with a large smile that Gabriel happily returns. "Ok, so anyway. We've got a lot to catch up on I guess. Why didn't you tell me Dean and Cas were fucking the whole time I was gone!?" she glares at Sam who holds his hands up in surrender.

"You went off the radar. And they haven't been fucking the whole time! Could you be any less disgusting about my brother having sex with an angel?" he asks and Charlie flips him off. 

"And you and Gabriel too, right? Have you had sex yet?" she questions, ignoring Sam's red face as she turns toward Gabriel.

"Of course." he answers at the same time Sam yells, "Hell no!" Charlie laughs but is cut off as the door opens and a flushed Castiel steps in followed by Dean, who's freckles are extremely noticeable now. 

"Dean!" she jumps up and hugs him tightly. He returns the hug happily, setting his chin on her head with a wide smile.

"Hey, kiddo. What brings you here?" he asks her as she pulls away. 

"Nice to see you too. First off, you should've taken a shower you smell like sex. Secondly, so does your breath. And thirdly, Sam called me." she replies and covers her laugh with cough as dean's cheeks become splotched with red. 

"I'll be right back." Dean mutters as he walks over and grabs his toothbrush before going into the bathroom. Gabriel turns to face his brother.

"From the sounds of it, Dean tops." he points out and Castiel blushes a bright magenta as he crosses his arms. His wings ruffle in protest and Gabriel laughs loudly.

"And from the looks of it, you enjoyed the wings too." he adds and Cas blushes even brighter, reaching out his hand to the feathers that were sticking up and smooths the out, replacing them back to their original positions.

"That's enough." he growls at his brother as the archangel starts to say something else.

"I was just going to say that sometimes you should take control and top." he tells him and Cas shakes his head, groaning softly. 

"He did." Dean mutters as he comes out of the bathroom, and both Charlie and Gabriel start cracking up. Sam had, as usual, missed the joke. 

"Look, Charlie. Kevin's missing, you remember him?" Dean asks and Charlie shrugs. 

"Not really. You never introduced me." she admits and Sam sighs softly.

"Ok, well it's fine. The point is, I called you so you could help us out. We need you to hack into the cameras by Honeymoon Island." he says and she nods, grabbing her computer quickly. 

"Didn't you already do that?" Dean remarks and Sam nods slightly.

"Well, kind of. I hacked into one, but I couldn't get the one closer to the island. It's complicated." he says as Dean goes to sit on the bed by Gabriel. 

"Have fun with his wings?" he asks, nudging the hunter. Dean shoots him a death glare and shoves him away. Gabriel flies over to sit by Sam, draping his arms around Sam's shoulders happily. Sam subconsciously leans into the touch and Dean rolls his eyes. 

Charlie starts typing and in a few seconds she's turning the laptop towards them. "There, this was last night. That's you guys, thankfully neither of you showed off your pretty faces. The night before, here." she lets them watch. 

The gray blur never shows, and Dean raises an eyebrow in confusion. "So then where's Kevin?" he asks. 

"There's another island off the coast of this one." Charlie tells them and Cas can't help the smug smirk that works it's way on his face. 

"I pointed that out to you." he pipes up and Dean looks up at him. 

"Yeah you did. So we'll just go back and get him. Let's go." he says as he stands and grabs his bag. Sam stands too, escaping Gabriel's arms and glancing down at him with a shy smile as if he'd just figured out they were touching. 

"I'm coming too!" Charlie exclaims as she hurries over to the group. Gabriel stretches and reaches his hand up and the same time as Castiel and they fly off with everyone to the other island. 

They land on a rock, and Charlie nearly falls off but Dean manages to catch her. Dean hands Sam a flashlight and then grabs one for Charlie. 

They all head out, waking quietly through the bushes. They eventually find a path that leads straight to the building where Dean kicks the door down. 

A body slumps underneath the window, small and tiny in the ancient church. Sam shines his flashlight over it and Charlie rushes to the boy that is shackled to the wall. He moans out a name weakly, "Sam?" and then passes out. 

Sam kneels down by Kevin and Gabriel helps Castiel break the shackles. Dean helps Kevin stand until finally Sam grabs him and carries him in his arms. Just as Castiel and Gabriel are about to transport them back, a slow clap announces the arrival of someone. 

Dean whirls around to see a figure standing there. Her hair was a fiery red and her lips even brighter as she smirks. 

"Well done, really. It took you a bit longer than I suspected, of course those changelings did kind of get in the way of my master plan. Perhaps it would've gone smoother if I'd taken him sooner." she tells them and Dean gulps softly. 

"Who is this bitch?" Gabriel snarls and she snaps her fingers, sending the archangel to his knees coughing. Sam hands Kevin to Dean hurriedly and kneels by Gabriel with worry.

"Let him go, Abaddon!" Dean yells, glaring at her harshly. She gives him a short laugh of derision and then frowns.

"Please, Dean. I have a system, and you need to stop trying to tamper with it. You are all puppets in my play, and you need to start playing your roles before I make you." she growls and twists her hands.

Gabriel lets out a ragged gasp and clutches at his throat. Sam turns on Abaddon, baring his teeth menacingly. "Let him go, you fucking coward!" he growls and she snaps her fingers.

Gabriel coughs, chocking on the air he was swallowing back down his throat. Sam grabs his face and looks him over, inspecting him for any other injuries. Gabriel pants rapidly, sucking oxygen back into his lungs. "I'm ok, Sam, I'm ok." he says hurriedly.

Abaddon giggles and crosses her arms. "Castiel, how nice to see you after so long. Of course, we didn't exactly leave in excellent terms, now did we?" she says, turning her attention to Castiel.

"I have nothing to say to you." he growls at her and she smiles again. 

"Always so good to see all of you. Especially since you don't treat me with respect. Oh, and who's your little friend?" she asks as Dean steps in front of Charlie. 

"She's none of your concern." Sam interjects quickly. Abaddon blinks and slowly switches her gaze away from Charlie to Sam. 

"Sammy. Don't make me hurt your little archangel again." she threatens in a sickeningly sweet voice as she raises her hand to snap again. Sam's eyes flash with fear as she snaps and Gabriel starts gagging again. 

He turns to him and drags the archangel into his arms. "Leave him alone!" Sam screams in terror as Gabriel's gasps for air get weaker. Castiel flies over to Abaddon and he grabs her hand, snapping it back with a crack. 

She groans in pain but her hold on Gabriel doesn't loosen until Dean stabs her from behind with the demon knife. She yells and disappears. 

Gabriel shakes in Sam's arms as air fills his lungs again, coughing and gagging slightly. Sam pats his back and rocks them gently as Gabriel's face returns to its normal shade instead of his cheeks being flushed. 

"You're ok, Gabriel. I've got you, it's ok." Sam reassures him softly as the archangel trembles in his arms. Gabriel was genuinely terrified of the possibility that Abaddon could've killed him without even trying. 

"She wasn't even phased by that demon knife at all. I think she left because its part of her "master plan." he said with air quotes as he repeats her words. Cas helps Dean position Kevin is his arms and Sam helps Gabriel stand, the archangel's legs shaking still. 

"Gabriel, are you able to help me fly everyone back?" Castiel asks him and he nods. 

"Yeah, I'll be good. I'm fine to help." he finally speaks and his voice is ragged and hoarse. Sam grimaces as he glances the hunter's way, and then raises his hand. They fly back and Dean sets Kevin on the bed. 

The boy was thinner than ever and his face was scruffy, not to mention the unusually pale complexation he had now. Dean checks for his pulse and then looks at Cas.

"You gotta heal him." he says softly and Castiel nods as he moves over to Kevin and reaches out his hand. Kevin bolts to his feet before Cas can even touch him. His eyes glow a bright white and his voice is dark.

"She's back! She'll destroy us all! The One will kill, and the Righteous Man will suffer at the heart of it all! The Golden will be killed, and the Tainted will suffer at the core, leaving only darkness, destruction, evil! The One will be killed, and the Righteous Man will-" 

"Kevin!?" Dean shouts Kevin's eyes return to normal as he draws a deep breath into him. Cas exchanges a glance with Sam who nods. 

He remembered what Obatala had said about Cas being the 'One.' Gabriel's eyes look troubled as he looks at the prophet. 

"Oh my god! Abaddon kidnapped me! Fuck, and she tried to make my prophecies come by force." Kevin exclaims drawing his knees into his chest. 

"What did you mean by all that stuff you said?" Charlie asks, and every eye turns to her. "What? I'm just wondering." she adds with a shrug.

"He was having a prophecy. Kevin, you said something about the One, the Righteous Man, the Golden, and the Tainted?" Sam speaks up and Kevin nods.

"Yeah. That's my new prophecy, but I can't tell you guys about it." he says and Cas knows. If Kevin told them it would change their fates. 

"Can you tell us who those people are?" Dean asks and Kevin shakes his head stubbornly.

"Dean, if he tells us it'll ruin everything." Gabriel finally finds his voice and Dean groans softly. Kevin's eyes glow white again and he gasps. 

"It's beginning. Only one will remain, but it shall be no one. Only one will remain, but it shall be strong. Only one will remain, but it shall be mistaken. Only one can remain, but it shall save all." he tells them before his eyes close and he passes out again. 

Dean calls his name, but Cas stops him with a hand on the hunter's shoulder. "Let him rest, Dean. We need to try and see if we can figure out his prophecies." he says and Dean nods in agreement, moving Kevin onto the bed. 

"That god that healed Dean called Cas the One." Sam says softly and Dean frowns and shakes his head.

"Cas isn't gonna die." Dean answers and Cas shakes his head. 

"He didn't say I would. He said I would kill." Cas corrects with worry. Dean sighs and looks down at ground. 

"The Righteous Man is obviously Dean." Gabriel points out and they all nod in agreement. 

"I'm still confused. I mean, how do you know those prophecies are true?" Charlie pipes up and Castiel chuckles.

"They come straight from God. It's how he communicates with us on earth." he tells her and she rolls her eyes slightly.

"So, the Tainted has to be Sammy." Dean adds and Sam's mood changes quickly to sadness. 

"Because of the demon blood?" he asks harshly. Dean shoots him a look and sighs.

"Yes. Exactly because of the demon blood. That's exactly why you're the Tainted, who else could it be? Obviously Gabriel is the Golden and the 'she' is Abaddon. It's just fucking obvious, Sam!" Dean exclaims and Sam casts his gaze to the ground, tears in his eyes.

He hated when people mentioned the demon blood because he'd tried so hard to be normal. And it didn't seem to work. 

"Dean, please calm down." Cas pleads gently and Dean stands up, the chair screeching on the ground. 

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down, Cas! Kevin's over there spoutin' prophecies about death, so obviously I'm gonna be the exact fucking opposite of calm!" he shouts and Cas takes a step back. 

"Woah! Don't yell at Cassie, he's just trying to help you!" Gabriel growls and Dean whirls on him. 

"Stay out of it, you fucking pansy!" he snaps back and Gabriel's eyes glow blue with power. 

"You listen to me, you arrogant dick!" Gabriel yells, but Dean can't resist toying with the archangel.

"What're you gonna do? You gonna zap me away, 'cause I sure as hell know Cas wouldn't like that. And if you kill me, well you're also screwed. So what're you gonna do? You can't do anything! You're useless!" he snarls back and the light in Gabriel's eyes dies as he visible droops. 

"Dean, enough! If you're gonna keep being an ass you can leave!" Sam defends the archangel quickly and Dean glares at him.

"Leave? You want me to leave!? Why don't you leave and go fight Abaddon on your own? After all, it's not like you really need me, right? I mean if you've got Cas and Gabriel you're all set, right?" he asks and Sam crosses his arms.

"Dean-" Cas starts but Dean interrupts him with a glare.

"You're not gonna defend me, are you!? Are you? I know I'm being a dick but I just need to get this off my chest! Please, we can't go charging in half cocked and expect to win!" he shoots back and Charlie stands up.

"Dean, please just stay calm, ok? We're all looking out for each other here, we're all trying to figure this out together. We're all frustrated about it." she says and Dean turns on her. 

Obatala hadn't been able to heal Dean's heart chakra, said it might be a problem. He didn't say that Dean would end up doing this to people he loved.

"You're siding with them too!? You're just as pathetic as the rest of the chicks we save! Weak and full of fear! That's why you're useless! Just like Gabriel, who almost got himself fucking killed 'cause he couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut! Just like Sam who let fucking Lucifer of all people, out into our world! Just like Castiel who loses his fucking grace every fucking minute only to have it back in time for it to be worthless!" Dean roars.

He doesn't feel bad when tears pour down Charlie's face. He doesn't feel bad when he turns to see Gabriel sinking to the floor against the wall. He doesn't feel bad when he sees his brother looking abandoned and devoid of all hope. And he sure as hell doesn't feel bad when he sees Cas is turning away to hide his tears too. 

So he leaves. Dean jumps into the Impala and races away. 

And he leaves them all behind. And despite that, Cas felt like something bigger was near. Something bigger than Dean leaving. Something bigger than the fact that Sam accepted Gabriel's relationship with him and moved forward with it. 

Something bigger than Kevin's prophecy talk. Something bigger than the three streaks of light in the growing darkness that were barreling straight towards them. Something bigger than the sound of flapping wings growing louder, and the sound of the Impala growing softer.


End file.
